How To Be A Better Person with Kate H...

Start your day with one simple thing you can do in the next 24 hours to be your better self--not so you can be a perfect person. Or even a good person! Just... better.

I wrote the book "How to Be a Better Person" after "be a better person" topped the list of most popular New Year's resolutions for the first time ever. This podcast builds on the ideas in that book and is intended to be like the little angel on your shoulder, providing a counter narrative to the negative thoughts and impulses that are floating around both out there and inside your own head. My mission is two-fold: to help you keep growing, and to inspire you to use your power for good.

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How To
Re-Emergence: This One Question Will Help You R...
Today’s big idea is that even though we are undoubtedly living through a time of re-emergence, we need to be mindful of how we do it. After all, we just went through something just epically scary and exhausting. Expecting that we can just rush...
5 min
Re-Emergence: An Easy Spring Detox (that Helps ...
One thing that can make you NOT want to re-emerge after the long pandemic winter is seasonal allergies. Here's a simple and powerful detox that helps you shake off winter AND ward off the spring sniffles and sluggishness.
7 min
Re-Emergence: Update Your Style to Reflect the...
What we wear is is a great vehicle for expressing who we are now. And frankly, since we’ve been inside wearing sweatpants for a year now, it's also something we might be feeling a little rusty about. Today I'm interviewing Elysha Lenkin, a fashion...
19 min
Re-Emergence: We Have Forgotten How to Talk to ...
Just like any muscle that gets weaker when you don’t use it, we’re all rusty and awkward when it comes to talking with other people. Tip today isn’t any specific social skill. It’s simply this...
6 min
3 Hacks to Adapt to Daylight Savings Time EP: 402
In honor of today being the first work day since daylight savings time began, I’m sharing three strategies that will help you minimize the aftershocks of moving the clocks forward a full hour in one night.
7 min
Building New Habits: Avoiding the Dreaded Backs...
There are many obstacles to creating and assimilating new habits that help us become better people. I mean, of course, otherwise we would all be walking around as the best possible version of ourselves and wouldn’t that be grand? Here's how to...
8 min
Building New Habits: The Special Sauce for Mak...
You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. Which means that in order to really cement in a new habit, it helps to reward yourself and savor every benefit you notice that it does to beat yourself up.
6 min
Building New Habits: How to Finally Start Doing...
Today I’m interviewing Dr. Suzanne Steinbaum, a New York City cardiologist, and author of Dr. Suzanne Steinbaum’s Heart Book: Every Woman’s Guide to a Heart-Healthy Life. Suzanne has been on helping her patients prioritize their own health by...
16 min
Building New Habits: Pro Tip for Staying on Tra...
How do you actually remember to do a new habit? And hold yourself accountable for doing it even when it's inconvenient? The truth is that what you track improves, because what you focus on grows. So here's how to track your new habit.
6 min
Building New Habits: The Secret to Making Thing...
There is a way to make creating a new habit a lot easier and a lot less of a cognitive lift--and that is by linking the new thing you want to do to some existing habit that’s already ingrained in your brain. 
6 min
Breaking Old Habits: Don’t Let Your Ego Do This...
Trying to become better is not a reason for feeling bad about yourself. You will mess up. You will backslide. You will completely forget. And it is OK. All you need to do is simply start again.
5 min
Breaking Old Habits: Be Real About the Costs EP...
Today’s big idea is that because habits are so unconscious and so well-worn, it can take a really big dose of motivation to get you to take action and then to sustain that action. The good news is that I’m going to share a great motivator with...
6 min
Breaking Old Habits--Getting Off Sugar, an Inte...
 I had the privilege of working with today’s guest, Dr. Daryl Gioffree, on his new book, Get Off Your Sugar and not only does he know his stuff, but he’s passionate about helping folks get healthy and just a really good guy. I get him to...
20 min
Breaking Old Habits: You Need a Plan (Plus, Wha...
In order to successfully outrun an already established habit, you’ve got to have a plan. Otherwise, you’re going to be winging it, and likely to run right off the road when you hit any kind of bump. 
7 min
Breaking Old Habits: It All Starts with This On...
Habits are like icebergs--you can perceive just the tip of them, when actually most of them exist underneath the surface of your awareness. You can’t just throw some dirt and some grass seed on the tip of an iceberg and turn it into a...
9 min
Spotlight on Self-Care: What Do Dirty Dishes Ha...
Today’s big idea is controversial. And it is that household chores, like doing the dishes or folding the laundry CAN be done in such a way that they qualify as self-care. Gasp!
8 min
Spotlight on Self-Care: Are Hobbies Self-Care? ...
Most people think self-care means getting a massage, or a pedicure, or taking a yoga class, but little things like doodling, cooking, and even stamp collecting can help you keep yourself in a good spot. Kevin, a listener who collects stamps, shares...
8 min
Sex as Self-Care, an interview with Alicia Gauv...
Whether it's with a partner, or yourself, sex is an indisputable part of being a person and therefore has a role to play in being a better person. It's also an important way that we take care of ourselves on multiple levels--physical and...
22 min
The Self-Care of Learning New Things EP: 388
Although there’s nothing pampering about trying something you’ve never done and, let’s face it, probably doing pretty badly at first, opening your mind and possibly your body up to a new skill or discipline is a great way to keep your mind...
9 min
When Your Self-Care Unleashes Big Feels EP: 387
While self-care is a wonderful thing, in can also be an occasion for you to come face to face with all kinds of different emotions--sadness, anger, grief, shame, agitation, you name it. And since many of us have a tendency to not want to experience...
9 min
Spotlight on Self-Care: Pro Tip--Make Time for ...
When you think of the ‘self’ in self care, you probably think about your body and your mind. But today I’m talking about a way to take care of your energetic--aka your vibe.
7 min
Self-Care Can Be Things You Don’t Really Want t...
Sometimes self-care is the equivalent of eating your lima beans (or insert your other least favorite vegetable). And while that’s not sexy or particularly exciting, it’s OK. Because perhaps viewing these not-so-pleasurable things as important...
5 min
Making Self-Care More Than a Buzzword EP: 384
You can here so much about self-care that it starts to smell a little off to you. I totally get that, and so does today's guest, with Macala Lacy, a community-based yoga teacher, mental health therapist, and wellness educator based in Los Angeles. She...
19 min
Spotlight on Self-Care: Sometimes All You Need ...
While we think of self-care as something you DO--like yoga, or meditation--self-care doesn’t always have to be an action. Sometimes it’s a decision--a simple yes or no.
5 min
Spotlight on Self-Care: Build the Self-Care Hab...
This week on the podcast is all about self-care--something we all need to do, and often need reminders to do, and now, in the midst of this pandemic winter, our self-care requirements are higher than ever. Also, what else are you going to do??
6 min
What My Dry January Taught Me EP: 381
I just spent the month of January NOT drinking, and it really gave me some insights that surprised me, in terms of how it made me feel and also in what I learned about drinking’s specific effects on women, on the individual and collective level.
7 min
3 Ways to Get Around Impostor Syndrome EP: 380
Today's episode is a listener-suggested topic: that feeling that you're a fraud and you're going to get found out. Ugh so many thoughts about this one! Including three ways through it.
7 min
How to Eat for Better Mental Health, an intervi...
A lot of us are feeling anxious or depressed, and meds and therapists can help, they aren’t the only tools we have. One of the tools that most people don’t consider to be related to mental health is nutrition. So I’m interviewing my go-to...
19 min
Books That Made Me a Better Person in 2020, Par...
Today on the podcast I’m sharing the final four books that are on my list of 8 Books that Made Me a Better Person in 2020. These aren’t necessarily the books I loved the most during 2020, although some of these were absolutely transporting reads....
9 min
Books That Made Me a Better Person in 2020, Par...
We can't be part of the solution for a problem we don’t truly understand--the books I chose for this list will open your eyes, mind, and heart to seeing the world differently. More clearly. They will build your resolve to be part of the solution,...
11 min
De-Cluttering: Where to Start EP: 376
Today's episode will help you figure out where to start your de-cluttering process--what will give you the biggest bang for your buck without being too overwhelming.
6 min
De-Cluttering: Is It Bad to Give Away Things Yo...
Sure, de-cluttering sounds like a good idea, but what about those sentimental things that you don’t use, don’t need, but the thought of getting rid of them gives you a little pang? Namely, things you received as gifts, and things that were created...
6 min
5 Minute Routines to Help You Get Organized, an...
Today I’m interviewing Katie McCann, a professional organizer in Westchester, NY and owner of the award-winning home organization company, Haven. Katie’s not just a whiz at organizing and de-cluttering, she’s also great at the emotional side of...
12 min
De-Cluttering: Making Space for Who You Are EP:...
De-cluttering isn’t just about getting rid of things, it’s about making room for what you need now and what will help you create a future you want. In other words, it’s an essential part of the process of making space for who you are--which is...
5 min
De-Cluttering: Letting Go of Who You Were (or W...
Today’s big idea is that there’s a huge component to de-cluttering that can stop you in your tracks, and that’s the mental and emotional side of getting rid of stuff. Specifically, how to decide what you’re ready to let go of, and how to...
10 min
Mantras for 2021: Reimagine the Possible EP: 371
I chose this as a final mantra for 2021 because there’s a common desire for things to get back to normal. I get it, I do. I want to go inside my friends' houses, send my kids off to summer camp, travel somewhere, make plans… But on a deeper level,...
6 min
Mantras for 2021: Stronger Together EP: 370
On the heels of a Presidential election when it feels like the gap between Democrat and Republican is a gaping hole it’s easy to be more aware of differences than similarities. Stronger together means we’re in this together--this life, this...
6 min
Mantras for 2021: How Mantras Make Life Easier,...
Today I’m interviewing Sonia Satra, an actress who played Lucy Cooper Spaulding on the Guiding Light for five years and is now the founder of Moticise--a mind-body practice that helps you create a life that you want. Sonia’s got a great origin...
20 min
Mantras for 2021: What’s Been Revealed Can Be H...
Today’s mantra is so helpful to remind yourself of this truth in response to all kinds of upsetting news or developments, big or small, personal or national. After all, you can’t change a habit you don’t know you have, and you can’t heal...
7 min
Mantras for 2021: It’s OK Not to Be OK EP: 367
Because we’ve been living through a hard time that is not over yet, particularly in regard to the pandemic,this week on the podcast I’m talking about mantras that can help us stay grounded, hopeful, and helpful during 2021.
9 min
Find Your Motivation: Maybe You Need to Do Noth...
Sometimes a lack of motivation can mean you’re just all around tired. In which case you should just let yourself off the hook and rest. 
5 min
Find Your Motivation: Heed the Signs EP: 365
You may THINK you don’t have motivation to do something, but that just might be on a cognitive level. You might actually have a deeper desire to get going on something... if only you can recognize it. And a great way to do that is to tune in to the...
6 min
Find Your Motivation: Motivation Is Bullshit, w...
Today I’m talking to Terri Trespicio. Who, says she doesn't believe in motivation. And who, whether she likes it or not, is a motivational speaker. Her Ted talk "Stop Searching for Your Passion" has gotten over 6 million views. Today she shares what...
13 min
Find Your Motivation: Calculate Your Ripple EP:...
Sometimes it takes thinking about how your actions affect other people to really get yourself into gear. And usually, when we are avoiding doing something, we’re not thinking about other people. And I say we should be.
5 min
Find Your Motivation: Procrastinate Productivel...
Like most things in life, procrastination isn’t 100% bad or 100% good. It’s what you make of it. And I’m saying, some procrastination can actually be helpful. 
8 min
Find Your Motivation: Think About After EP: 361
Remember how Bugs Bunny would smell something yummy, like a roast chicken, and he would start floating in the air towards it? Well, envisioning how good you’ll feel after you’ve done something is the real life equivalent of that.
6 min
Find Your Motivation: Consider the Costs EP: 360
If there’s something that you’re wanting to do, or needing to do, and you’re not doing it, a good way to get yourself motivated is to think about the ways your inaction is costing you.
7 min
Staying Motivated Over the Long-Term, an Interv...
Hayley Krischer is author of the amazing and important book about sexual assault, Something Happened to Ali Greenleaf. Hayley worked on this book, which is her first, for over 20 years, and she’s got a thing or two to share about how to find your...
18 min
Find Your Motivation: Take the Next Right Step...
It’s tempting to feel like you have to wait to get motivated before you take any action, when the truth is, getting going will put wind in your sails and get your motivation humming. Here's how to get into motion.
6 min
Find Your Motivation EP: 357
This week on the podcast, I’m focusing on motivation. Because it’s an important thing at any time, but it’s something we’re even more interested in at the start of the year. And, after a year like 2020, which was so um, eventful, and...
8 min
5 Questions for an Awesome New Year: Question N...
I know you’re not supposed to pick favorites of your own creations, but today's question is kind of my favorite! It influences everything that you do in the new year, and even if you never set one goal afterward, it can change your life.
5 min
5 Questions for an Awesome New Year: Question N...
You’ve REALLY got to work hard not to censor yourself when answering this question, because your ego will just love to chime in and say, 'What are you thinking? That’s not possible.' It's so important that you name your true answers anyway.
5 min
5 Questions for an Awesome New Year: Question 3...
Today I’m inviting my friend, business coach Brittany Drozd, on to the podcast to share one of her favorite questions that she likes to ask herself and her clients at the start of the new year. It's not one you're likely to hear in any...
12 min
5 Questions for an Awesome New Year: Question N...
Today's question is also about looking back, but with a much more positive lens than yesterday's focus. It helps raise your energy and access gratitude.
5 min
5 Questions for an Awesome New Year: Question N...
This week on the podcast, this first full week of the new year, I’m doing things just a little bit different in that in each episode, I’m posing one question to ask yourself to help you process 2020 and wrap your head and your heart around 2021.
5 min
A Foolproof Strategy for Kicking Off a Great Ye...
New Year’s Day is a super potent time for setting the tone for the rest of the year. You want to do something on this first day of 2021 that blazes a trail for how you’d like the rest of the year to go. I've got a simple guideline that helps...
5 min
Restore Thyself: Give Yourself Alllll the Credi...
It can be very heartening to give yourself credit for all the many things you’ve been taking care of, and recognize yourself for your accomplishments--big, tiny, and everything in between. It can help show your ego that you actually deserve to rest,...
5 min
Restore Thyself: Processing a Nutty Year So You...
Something that makes this whole process a lot more effective is processing what’s come before, so that you don’t have to keep carrying it around with you. My dear friend Paige Chapman, a self-care coach and owner of the virtual yoga studio...
13 min
Restore Thyself: The No. 1 Secret to Getting Mo...
One of the best ways to restore yourself is to sleep. Now, sleep is a huge topic that could fill many episodes. Just for today, I’m going to talk about the number one way to make sure you get the rest you need.
4 min
Restore Thyself EP: 347
This week is the final week of 2020. Normally, I’d be talking to you about finishing strong, or taking stock of the year that just happened, or setting goals for next year. But this is not that time. This final week of the year on the podcast is...
6 min
A Poem that Perfectly Captures My Wish for 2021...
To keep things short today, so that no matter what plans you do or don’t have to celebrate Christmas or not celebrate Christmas you’ll have a few extra minutes, I’m sharing a poem I recently discovered that has been like a balm for my soul. It's...
5 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Your Return Ticket from A...
Anxiety is often the result of living in the future--thinking about what hasn’t happened yet, perhaps even dreading it, or just trying to anticipate what might be coming down the pike. The way out of anxiety is to pull your attention back to the...
7 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Two Important Supplements...
There are two supplements that crop up in articles and books, as well as in the scientific literature, over and over as being important players in brain health, mood, and in things like depression and anxiety. But most of us don't think of them...
9 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Try This Breath to Get Ou...
In the coaching world anxiety is often described as excitement without breath. So let's do a REALLY easy--and calming!--breathing exercise to help redirect your body and your attention away from anxiety.
6 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Build Your Trust Muscles ...
A fairly common trigger of anxiety is thinking about all the things that are left to be done. We want to feel like everything is taken care of before we allow ourselves to settle down and just chill. But here’s the thing: That’s never gonna happen.
8 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Are You Rehearsing Unhap...
So often, when you are feeling anxious, if you examine the thoughts you’ll find that you’re pre-living out an imagined situation--and generally not a positive situation. It's like you're rehearsing unhappiness. Here's how to stop.
7 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Schedule Your Worry Time ...
Taking a page from project management, today I’m talking about scheduling your worry time so that you can put up some boundaries around your attention without having to try to stop worrying altogether, which is a pretty tall--as in...
6 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Tips from an Anxiety Pro ...
Today I’m interviewing the fabulous Leigh Medeiros, author of The 1-Minute Writer, a developmental editor, and a creativity coach. and someone who has lived with at times severe anxiety for over 30 years for her tips on anxiety's lessons, as well as...
19 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: Two Acupressure Points to...
There are two spots on your body that really help quiet the swirling thoughts of anxiety according to Traditional Chinese Medicine. Today I talk you through how to find them and stimulate them.
7 min
Spotlight on Anxiety: What It Is & Where It Com...
When something feels as high-stakes and as interior as anxiety does, it’s really helpful to shine a light on it and observe it, which helps you see it as something that is separate from you. That's what we're doing today.
10 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Finding Your Way ...
Rolling with tough times requires acceptance. Which might seem like you're giving up, but really it's just laying down your resistance. When you can access acceptance, you get to stop putting effort into trying to change things you can’t...
7 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: The Need for Alon...
Alone time is also how we catch up to ourselves, process our emotions, and just be, without having to respond to anyone. For those of us quarantined with other people--especially parents with kids--it is also scarce.
11 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: How to Be Real wi...
It’s a lot harder to be patient and thoughtful -- and honest! -- with your kids when you're with them all the livelong day. Today I’m happy to have my friend Judi Ketteler, author of the book Would I Lie to You? Here with us to talk about how to...
25 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Eff the F Bomb EP...
Are you overrelying on the F bomb? It's awfully easy to do... but it’s a slippery slope, and the next thing you know you can be dropping F bombs all over the place, including when it's just not appropriate. (Been there!) (Caution: There is cursing...
13 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Tap Back into Emp...
These are intense, extreme times. Everyone is triggered. And that means it's really hard for us to have empathy for each other--and for ourselves--thanks to something called 'amygdala highjack'. Here's a way out.
10 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: You Do You (Let T...
You don’t get to say how the people you love handle their stress. You do get to talk with them about it, but you don’t get to tell them how to do it. Here's what you can do instead to truly support them.
11 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Be Here Now EP: 330
Right now, it’s impossible to make plans. And our pre-COVID lives already feel like a distant memory. Where does that leave us? Right here, right now. And for the vast majority of us, that is someplace we are not at all used to being.
8 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: How to Stop Self-...
You probably think you KNOW what to do when you’re stressed. But Carey Davidson, author of The Five Archetypes, says that the things we typically to do try to calm ourselves down actually only make our stress WORSE. And, naturally, she shares what...
9 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Oh the Joy of Win...
Let's take an objective, non-judgmental, genuinely curious look at the things we are using to numb out now. Like, oh, I don’t know… WINE. Because while there’s a time and a place for everything, if you’re automatically choosing to numb instead...
9 min
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: We Are on an Emot...
Let's take an objective, non-judgmental, genuinely curious look at the things we are using to numb out now. Like, oh, I don’t know… WINE. Because while there’s a time and a place for everything, if you’re automatically choosing to numb instead...
9 min
Do Gratitude and Money Mix? (I Say Yes) EP: 326
On this Black Friday, instead of focusing on buying what’s on sale, you think about your holiday spending as a way to express your gratitude for the businesses that sell the things you buy.
7 min
Feeling Grateful During a Pandemic--It IS Poss...
It may take a little more mental flexibility to be grateful this year, but the things you appreciate will be even more meaningful. Because having things taken away from us tends to highlight what remains, and forces us to appreciate stuff that we...
5 min
Gratitude for Lazy People EP: 324
I’m talking with Polly Campbell, author of How to Live an Awesome Life and You: Recharged, who is a great source of guidance for personal development in the real world. (And keeps it real for us lazy folks.)
17 min
How Gratitude Can Get Your Butt into Gear EP: 323
Here's a fun Jedi mind trick for you: Rehearse the gratitude you’ll feel in the future as a way to get yourself motivated to do something that feels hard, scary, or even boring today. 
5 min
Gratitude Is About Attention EP: 322
If thinking about gratitude as something just horribly virtuous is not appealing, you can think of it as an exercise in attention.
6 min
Judgment 101: Examine Your Hidden Beliefs EP: 321
Our hidden beliefs have a lot of sway over what we do and think, and if you haven’t gone looking for them, ever, or in a while, you’re in for some real a-ha moments. 
4 min
Judgment 101: Try on “Maybe” EP: 320
A way to get out of the black and white thinking that goes hand in hand with judgment is to embrace the concept of maybe. 
4 min
Judgment 101: Outsmarting Judgment, an Intervie...
To really break judgment down, today I’m interviewing Suzanne Kingsbury--founder of Gateless Writing, a method of teaching the art and craft of writing that melds brain science, Zen practice, and craft tools. A cornerstone of Suzanne's teaching is...
17 min
Judgment 101: Go on Impression, Not Assumptions...
While you may know that to assume makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me,” are you aware of how many blanks you subconsciously fill in every day? Whenever you do, you mistake opinion for fact. Luckily, there’s a way out of this.
5 min
Judgment 101 - Examine Your Biases EP: 317
A crucial part of the journey to being a better person is to examine your biases--the things you judge without even realizing.
6 min
When Impatience Is a Good Thing EP: 316
Sometimes, impatience can be the spark that lights a flame on your doing something different--no matter how scary or big or hairy it may feel.
6 min
What’s Behind Your Impatience? EP: 315
Understanding what’s underneath your impatience is an important piece of learning to work with it more skillfully. I’m sharing five possible sources with you today, and I’ll cover one more, which is kind of a biggie, tomorrow. 
6 min
Patience 101, an Interview with My Coach EP: 314
Today I’m talking with Kelli, who was my coach for years and who taught me so much about patience for her take on what it's all about.
25 min
Dealing With Impatience: The Bigger Stuff EP: 313
Let's talk about what you can do BESIDES get impatient when you’re waiting for something big to happen; something that affects the realities of your life, like waiting to hear back from a job interview.
6 min
Curbing Impatience - The Little Stuff EP: 312
Waiting for the election results and heading into winter after we’ve already been dealing with a pandemic for nine months certainly is a big ole invitation to get impatient. But even in the grooviest of times, patience can be challenging. So let’s...
7 min
Digging Deep: One Thing to Tell Yourself That R...
Hard times feel even harder when you hold yourself to a standard that made sense when things were basically normal. You've got to cut yourself some slack. But how?!
4 min
Digging Deep: There Will Be Nostalgia EP: 310
Although it’s tempting to tell yourself, “I can’t wait until this is over so I never have to think about it again,” there will come a day when you will miss parts of what you’re living through now. And recognizing those parts now will help...
5 min
Digging Deep: The Gift of Hard Times, and Inter...
Today I’m talking with Brooke Thomas about how the tough times are an invitation to re-connect both with our bodies and with who we are at our core.
19 min
Digging Deep: When What You’ve Always Done Stop...
Something that can make hard times feel harder is when what you’ve always done to get through the tough stuff stops working. It happens to everyone. So what do you do now?!
6 min
Making a Sanity Plan for Election Night EP: 307
If you’re nervous, or feeling some aftershocks from the 2016 election that you’re not looking forward to reliving, or angry, or insert your own response here, I think it’s helpful to think about what you can do to feel good on election night and...
9 min