How To Be A Better Person with Kate H...
Start your day with one simple thing you can do in the next 24 hours to be your better self--not so you can be a perfect person. Or even a good person! Just... better.
I wrote the book "How to Be a Better Person" after "be a better person" topped the list of most popular New Year's resolutions for the first time ever. This podcast builds on the ideas in that book and is intended to be like the little angel on your shoulder, providing a counter narrative to the negative thoughts and impulses that are floating around both out there and inside your own head. My mission is two-fold: to help you keep growing, and to inspire you to use your power for good.
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401
Spotlight on Anxiety: What It Is & Where It Com...
When something feels as high-stakes and as interior as anxiety does, it’s really helpful to shine a light on it and observe it, which helps you see it as something that is separate from you. That's what we're doing today.
10 min
402
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Finding Your Way ...
Rolling with tough times requires acceptance. Which might seem like you're giving up, but really it's just laying down your resistance. When you can access acceptance, you get to stop putting effort into trying to change things you can’t...
7 min
403
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: The Need for Alon...
Alone time is also how we catch up to ourselves, process our emotions, and just be, without having to respond to anyone. For those of us quarantined with other people--especially parents with kids--it is also scarce.
11 min
404
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: How to Be Real wi...
It’s a lot harder to be patient and thoughtful -- and honest! -- with your kids when you're with them all the livelong day. Today I’m happy to have my friend Judi Ketteler, author of the book Would I Lie to You? Here with us to talk about how to...
25 min
405
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Eff the F Bomb EP...
Are you overrelying on the F bomb? It's awfully easy to do... but it’s a slippery slope, and the next thing you know you can be dropping F bombs all over the place, including when it's just not appropriate. (Been there!) (Caution: There is cursing...
13 min
406
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Tap Back into Emp...
These are intense, extreme times. Everyone is triggered. And that means it's really hard for us to have empathy for each other--and for ourselves--thanks to something called 'amygdala highjack'. Here's a way out.
10 min
407
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: You Do You (Let T...
You don’t get to say how the people you love handle their stress. You do get to talk with them about it, but you don’t get to tell them how to do it. Here's what you can do instead to truly support them.
11 min
408
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Be Here Now EP: 330
Right now, it’s impossible to make plans. And our pre-COVID lives already feel like a distant memory. Where does that leave us? Right here, right now. And for the vast majority of us, that is someplace we are not at all used to being.
8 min
409
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: How to Stop Self-...
You probably think you KNOW what to do when you’re stressed. But Carey Davidson, author of The Five Archetypes, says that the things we typically to do try to calm ourselves down actually only make our stress WORSE. And, naturally, she shares what...
9 min
410
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: Oh the Joy of Win...
Let's take an objective, non-judgmental, genuinely curious look at the things we are using to numb out now. Like, oh, I don’t know… WINE. Because while there’s a time and a place for everything, if you’re automatically choosing to numb instead...
9 min
411
Calm the Eff Down, Revisited: We Are on an Emot...
Let's take an objective, non-judgmental, genuinely curious look at the things we are using to numb out now. Like, oh, I don’t know… WINE. Because while there’s a time and a place for everything, if you’re automatically choosing to numb instead...
9 min
412
Do Gratitude and Money Mix? (I Say Yes) EP: 326
On this Black Friday, instead of focusing on buying what’s on sale, you think about your holiday spending as a way to express your gratitude for the businesses that sell the things you buy.
7 min
413
Feeling Grateful During a Pandemic--It IS Poss...
It may take a little more mental flexibility to be grateful this year, but the things you appreciate will be even more meaningful. Because having things taken away from us tends to highlight what remains, and forces us to appreciate stuff that we...
5 min
414
Gratitude for Lazy People EP: 324
I’m talking with Polly Campbell, author of How to Live an Awesome Life and You: Recharged, who is a great source of guidance for personal development in the real world. (And keeps it real for us lazy folks.)
17 min
415
How Gratitude Can Get Your Butt into Gear EP: 323
Here's a fun Jedi mind trick for you: Rehearse the gratitude you’ll feel in the future as a way to get yourself motivated to do something that feels hard, scary, or even boring today.
5 min
416
Gratitude Is About Attention EP: 322
If thinking about gratitude as something just horribly virtuous is not appealing, you can think of it as an exercise in attention.
6 min
417
Judgment 101: Examine Your Hidden Beliefs EP: 321
Our hidden beliefs have a lot of sway over what we do and think, and if you haven’t gone looking for them, ever, or in a while, you’re in for some real a-ha moments.
4 min
418
Judgment 101: Try on “Maybe” EP: 320
A way to get out of the black and white thinking that goes hand in hand with judgment is to embrace the concept of maybe.
4 min
419
Judgment 101: Outsmarting Judgment, an Intervie...
To really break judgment down, today I’m interviewing Suzanne Kingsbury--founder of Gateless Writing, a method of teaching the art and craft of writing that melds brain science, Zen practice, and craft tools. A cornerstone of Suzanne's teaching is...
17 min
420
Judgment 101: Go on Impression, Not Assumptions...
While you may know that to assume makes an “ass” out of “u” and “me,” are you aware of how many blanks you subconsciously fill in every day? Whenever you do, you mistake opinion for fact. Luckily, there’s a way out of this.
5 min
421
Judgment 101 - Examine Your Biases EP: 317
A crucial part of the journey to being a better person is to examine your biases--the things you judge without even realizing.
6 min
422
When Impatience Is a Good Thing EP: 316
Sometimes, impatience can be the spark that lights a flame on your doing something different--no matter how scary or big or hairy it may feel.
6 min
423
What’s Behind Your Impatience? EP: 315
Understanding what’s underneath your impatience is an important piece of learning to work with it more skillfully. I’m sharing five possible sources with you today, and I’ll cover one more, which is kind of a biggie, tomorrow.
6 min
424
Patience 101, an Interview with My Coach EP: 314
Today I’m talking with Kelli, who was my coach for years and who taught me so much about patience for her take on what it's all about.
25 min
425
Dealing With Impatience: The Bigger Stuff EP: 313
Let's talk about what you can do BESIDES get impatient when you’re waiting for something big to happen; something that affects the realities of your life, like waiting to hear back from a job interview.
6 min
426
Curbing Impatience - The Little Stuff EP: 312
Waiting for the election results and heading into winter after we’ve already been dealing with a pandemic for nine months certainly is a big ole invitation to get impatient. But even in the grooviest of times, patience can be challenging. So let’s...
7 min
427
Digging Deep: One Thing to Tell Yourself That R...
Hard times feel even harder when you hold yourself to a standard that made sense when things were basically normal. You've got to cut yourself some slack. But how?!
4 min
428
Digging Deep: There Will Be Nostalgia EP: 310
Although it’s tempting to tell yourself, “I can’t wait until this is over so I never have to think about it again,” there will come a day when you will miss parts of what you’re living through now. And recognizing those parts now will help...
5 min
429
Digging Deep: The Gift of Hard Times, and Inter...
Today I’m talking with Brooke Thomas about how the tough times are an invitation to re-connect both with our bodies and with who we are at our core.
19 min
430
Digging Deep: When What You’ve Always Done Stop...
Something that can make hard times feel harder is when what you’ve always done to get through the tough stuff stops working. It happens to everyone. So what do you do now?!
6 min
431
Making a Sanity Plan for Election Night EP: 307
If you’re nervous, or feeling some aftershocks from the 2016 election that you’re not looking forward to reliving, or angry, or insert your own response here, I think it’s helpful to think about what you can do to feel good on election night and...
9 min
432
Cynicism Antidote #3: Get Out of Your Head EP: 306
Getting out of your head and shifting your focus to something other than your thoughts is a powerful antidote to cynicism. Today I share three ways to do just that.
5 min
433
Cynicism Antidote #2: Be an Empty Cup EP: 305
he four most dangerous words in the English language are “I already know that.” Deciding that you know better is a recipe for staying stuck and feeling disconnected from others.
5 min
434
Finding Faith in Humanity During Tough Times EP...
Today I interview Shelley Moench-Kelley, author of the brand-new book Here’s Your Pill, Kitten, about how a freak accident led to her spending three months as the youngest resident in a nursing home, and how that tough experience helped her have...
15 min
435
Cynicism Antidote #1: Look for the Loving Reaso...
There’s something you can do when you notice yourself thinking that some particular person or people in general suck, something that keeps you open to possibility and helps you trust that life is happening for you, and not just to you.
8 min
436
Resisting Cynicism EP: 302
This week on the podcast I’m talking about cynicism and how we can keep our faith in humanity strong even when it feels like the whole world’s gone crazy.
5 min
437
Is Life Getting You Down? Or Could It Be a Lack...
There’s a very good reason why it might feel so hard to give a darn about your health in winter. And also why your mood might also turn dark. And that is the lack of light.
7 min
438
There’s One Kind of Cookie That’s GREAT for You...
A 2019 review analyzed 10 studies that included data from over 3 million people, an found that dog owners had a 24 percent risk reduction for death from any cause. And that’s just one reason to get a dog. I’m going to give you a few more, but...
8 min
439
How Taking Better Care of Your Health Makes the...
I'm asking Dr. Chris Chlebowski, homeopath, naturopath, chiropractor and author of the upcoming book The Virus And The Host: How To Get And Stay Healthy In The Age of Novel Infectious Disease about how taking better care of your own health makes you a...
13 min
440
What Will You Give Up in the Name of Health? (O...
You likely have something that you eat or do that you know isn’t all that great for you, but anytime you think about giving it up, you dismiss that idea immediately. Here's another way to think about it.
9 min
441
Re-Committing to Your Health EP: 297
We all fall off the health wagon at some point. Here's why you don't want to wait until a health crisis, or even a health thing, to get back on it. Also, I cover how a parody video of me, made by my daughter, helped me make sense of a health...
7 min
442
Creativity Mantra #3: Keep Showing Up EP: 296
Creativity isn’t a one and done thing. It’s a part of you and just like a dog or a baby it needs loving care on the regular. So, today, we’re going to cover ways to make creativity just a thing you do.
6 min
443
Creativity Mantra #2: Let It Suck EP: 295
In order to breathe life into your ideas and get them out into the world, you’ve got to get the ego to stand down. And the way you do that is by giving yourself permission to let that thing suck.
7 min
444
How to Stop Talking Yourself Out of Being Creat...
Today I'm talking to Zarinah El-Amin, CEO of Book Power Publishing and author of the brand-new book Book Power, about how to get over the excuses you may be giving yourself for not doing anything creative. And wow, does she deliver!
17 min
445
Creativity Mantra #1: Make the Headspace EP: 293
Creative ideas have a hard time penetrating a busy mind. You’ve got to clear a little space in that beautiful noggin of yours for the ideas to come in and be heard.
6 min
446
Feeding Your Creative Fire EP: 292
This week on the podcast, I’m pivoting to talk about something that’s still super important, but is way, way lighter than the pandemic-related themes I’ve been covering lately. And that thing is creativity. I mean, doesn’t that sound nice...
7 min
447
Difficult People: Boundaries, People! EP: 291
Because empathy is important, but often not enough, when it comes to dealing with difficult people, today talking about setting boundaries--both for them and for you.
6 min
448
Difficult People: Find Connection, One Step at ...
Today’s big idea is that difficult people are still people. And you are a person. And deep down we are more alike than we are different. So a helpful way to approach a difficult person is to seek out the things that connect you
8 min
449
Difficult People: How Conflict Can Make You a B...
Does conflict have an upside? Today I’m talking with Amy Gallo, who is the author of the to get her inside scoop on how and why to engage with the difficult people in your life.
14 min
450
Difficult People: You Spot It, You Either Got I...
While I wouldn’t wish a difficult person on anyone else, I believe that they, like every other challenging situation, show up to teach us something. It’s on us to look for that opportunity that’s wrapped up inside every fraught interaction.
7 min
451
Dealing with Difficult People EP: 287
This week on the podcast I’m talking about how to handle the difficult people in your life, whether it’s folks you don’t know that you encounter out in the world, a problematic neighbor, a boss or colleague, or even a partner or a family member....
5 min
452
Love Yourself: A Practical Way to Send Yourself...
Loving yourself is a nice idea but it’s kind of squishy--how do you actually go about doing it? Well, I’ve got something to share with you that will help you put ‘love myself’ on to your calendar, and then actually do it
4 min
453
Love Yourself: Finding Your Way to Self-Accepta...
Accepting the things about yourself that you might otherwise judge as ‘bad’ is a big piece of loving yourself. After all, love isn’t conditional. It’s not, I’ll love myself after I lose 5 pounds, or get a new job, or things calm down.
6 min
454
Love Yourself: Breaking Free from PSD (Patriarc...
When I first encountered the idea that we’re talking about today, I definitely looked like a meme of a person whose mind has just been blown. It’s the idea that in general, women are vulnerable to thinking less of themselves, chronic stress,...
17 min
455
Love Yourself: Don’t Talk to My Friend That Way...
If someone is constantly saying mean, disparaging, discouraging things about you, would that make it feel like they loved you? Yeah. No. But that’s what we often do to ourselves.
5 min
456
Loving Yourself Is a Radical Act EP: 282
Loving yourself is something so few of us are ever given any guidance on, in any way. We just don’t talk about it as a thing. It’s like this big secret that very few people speak about. This week, let’s change that.
6 min
457
Activism: Give Back Without Wearing Yourself Ou...
As important as it is to give back through activism in some way, you don’t want to let it become something that depletes you. Today I’m sharing 3 things I’ve learned about how to give back without wearing yourself out.
5 min
458
Activism: Seek to Understand EP: 280
It’s so tempting to rush toward something that you perceive to be a problem with a full head of steam and a lot of ideas about what should be done. But if you do, you could very well become part of the problem.
4 min
459
Activism 101, an Interview with Jocelyn Foye an...
Today I’m talking with two women who helped me embrace my inner activist both through their example and through the organization that they co-founded, The Womxn Project. We're talking about how activism can be fun, rewarding, and one of the great...
16 min
460
Activism: Finding the Right Fit, and the Bandwi...
When you find the right cause for you, it makes you more effective, it gives you more energy, and it enriches your life more. So the question then is, how do you find the right fit? And once you do, how do you find the bandwidth?
7 min
461
Let’s Get Activated EP: 277
This week I’m talking about activism--getting involved in causes you care about and lending your voice, time, and energy to creating positive change in the world. After all, being a better person isn’t just about you!
8 min
462
International Unreturned Message Forgiveness D...
Today is a very special day on the How to Be a Better Person podcast. I’m declaring a new international holiday. It’s Unreturned Message Forgiveness Day. Woo hoo!
6 min
463
Next Time You’re Tempted to Over-Do for Someone...
Let’s face it, other people’s happiness isn’t under your control. Sure, you can love someone and support them, but if you’re trying to make them feel a certain way, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Here's something to remind yourself...
6 min
464
Getting Over the Fear of Being Selfish, an Inte...
Today I'm talking to someone who is a total expert at doing good in the world by living unapologetically as yourself. Lisa Cherney, who has been mentoring entrepreneurs for over 20 years, teaches that you don't have to do anything just because people...
15 min
465
We Can Be NOT Sorry, Just for One Day EP: 273
Something we do when we’re overly focused on other people’s happiness is apologize. A lot. I’m not talking about owning up to something that you truly got or did wrong. I’m talking about a reflexive “I’m sorry” for anything that...
5 min
466
Getting Over Over-Pleasing EP: 272
When I surveyed listeners, I asked them what they struggled with when it came to being a better person. And so many of them said people-pleasing. Even Tupac Shakur, lion of hip-hop, said, “I gotta stop treating people like I owe them something.”...
6 min
467
Add This to Your Home for a Better Winter EP: 271
We need more nature in our lives, and a great way to get it is to get yourself a houseplant.
4 min
468
This Is the Most Important Thing You Can Do--No...
6 min
469
What Your Body Needs Now, an Interview with Mar...
Being able to ride the waves of change IS possible. But it doesn’t just happen on its own. It takes some self-care. Which is why I’m bringing my nutritionist bestie, Mary Sheila Gonnella, back on to talk us through some practical strategies.
12 min
470
Quick Ritual to Get Ready for Fall EP: 268
I’ve got a quick but powerful little ritual to share with you today that will help you take stock of what’s happened, be grateful for what you’ve got, and plant some seeds for the future.
5 min
471
Transitions Are Necessary, But Hard EP: 267
Transition is a fact of life, but it’s not easy. And that’s why I want to talk about how to stay steady during times of transition this week. Because that is where we’re at.
5 min
472
Please Talk to This Particular Type of Person Y...
There's a particular type of conversation with a particular type of person I want to talk about today -- and that is talking with the folks who reach out to you on behalf of someone who is running for office.
7 min
473
The Power of NOT Talking EP: 265
Sometimes you have to keep your mouth shut. It’s the only way you can listen. But it’s often not easy to do!
5 min
474
How to Handle the Haters, an Interview with Har...
Journalist and author Harriet Marsden is used to dealing with haters. As evidence, an anonymous reader sent Harriet a copy of my book (How to Be a Better Person), with a very passive aggressive note, and Harriet had the good humor to snap a pic and...
11 min
475
Ask Better Questions EP: 263
When you ask an open-ended question, you’re going to get a much richer response and invite whomever you're talking to into a true dialogue. And I’m guessing that you may not realize how many dead-end questions you might be asking.
6 min
476
Acknowledging What’s Happening in the World EP:...
I know we all need places to turn that aren’t roiled by turmoil right now, and that you come to this podcast for inspiration and ideas. But being a better person also means making the world a better place, and I can’t not acknowledge that the...
4 min
477
Become a Different Kind of Watcher EP: 261
Cultivating your ability to observe things is a crucial piece of reining in your attention. Today I'm going to talk about how you can build your observation skills by watching the clouds. If you can learn to watch the clouds, you can learn to watch...
4 min
478
Easy Practice to Build Your Listening Skills EP...
Today I’m talking about how to strengthen your listening muscles. Because not listening is something many folks who have taken my survey name as the top thing that they struggle with when it comes to being a better person.
5 min
479
How a Productivity Expert Hones Her Focus EP: 259
I’m excited to talk to Paula Rizzo, author of Listful Living and Listful Thinking, about how to stay focused on what matters when we have so very many things to distract us.
13 min
480
Dramatically Reduce Your Distractions in Only 2...
Our attention was already scattered before corona hit, and now it’s like an order of hashbrowns from Waffle House--it’s scattered, smothered, covered, and chunked. One thing we can do to bring it back is to reduce the number of attention-stealers...
9 min
481
Refilling Your Attention Deficit EP: 257
This week I’m talking about attention, because a) our brains are all over the place and b) that scattered feeling is at the root of so many of the things we’re struggling with now.
7 min
482
Notch Taker-Downers (According to You) EP: 256
5 min
483
Just Keep Breathin’ and Breathin’ and Breathin’...
8 min
484
Herbs Are Like a Hug for Your Health EP:254
16 min
485
What If Better Sleep Were As Simple as Flicking...
8 min
486
MIsadventures in Online Shopping, and Wrestling...
11 min
487
Beware the Brightside EP: 251
5 min
488
Reframe the Bad EP: 250
6 min
489
Leisure Is a Skill EP: 249
8 min
490
Let that Stuff Go Already EP: 248
7 min
491
Before You Burnout EP: 247
6 min
492
Confrontation Nation: Expert Tips on Having Dif...
Bestselling author of "Difficult Conversations" and 20-year member of the Negotiation Project at Harvard Sheila Heen comes on to share some pointers on how to have these tough talks--including those that involve calling out or calling in racism.
17 min
493
Confrontation Nation:Things to Say EP: 245
Today I'm giving you four phrases to keep in your back pocket for when you get into difficult conversations/disagreements with folks that will help steer you away from getting into an "I'm right," "No, I’m right?" dynamic.
6 min
494
Confrontation Nation:Embrace Your Influence EP:...
This episode is especially for all my fellow conflict avoiders. And the big idea I want to explore today is that each of us has influence. And when we avoid controversial subjects because we’re afraid of getting into ig, we violate one of the tenets...
6 min
495
Confrontation Nation: We Can’t All Be Right EP:...
There’s a principle we can grasp onto that will help us navigate tough discussions, and that is that it is impossible for everyone to be right. So stop trying to prove your point.
10 min
496
Confrontation Nation: What’s the Better Person ...
You used to more or less be able to decide when you wanted to wade into a potentially heated conversation. Now you can stumble into them multiple times a day. What's a person who's trying to be a better person to do? Face them head on, or keep the peace?
7 min
497
Day 10: It’s All About Stamina: When You Can’t ...
Doing the things that help you stay strong isn’t an all or nothing proposition. And when you can’t do a lot, doing a little is a great second place option. (Featuring many listener-submitted things to do that help you keep going.)
5 min
498
Day 9: It’s All About Stamina: Hello Discomfor...
The way you think about the things that are requiring you to develop your stamina has an awful lot to do with how much you are able to take. To increase your wherewithal, you've got to increase your tolerance for discomfort.
6 min
499
Day 8: It’s All About Stamina: How to Cultivate...
To help us all think about how to go about cultivating more grit I wanted to talk to a pro, so I reached out to Shannon Huffman Polson, the youngest woman ever to climb Mt. McKinley, one of the first women to be trained to fly an Apache helicopter...
10 min
500
Day 7: It’s All About Stamina: Take a Schlub Da...
When you are living through a challenging time, you’ve got to let some things slide. And because they help refill your well, you really don’t want those things to be your self-care. So… what gives?
6 min