How To Be A Better Person with Kate H...

Start your day with one simple thing you can do in the next 24 hours to be your better self--not so you can be a perfect person. Or even a good person! Just... better.

I wrote the book "How to Be a Better Person" after "be a better person" topped the list of most popular New Year's resolutions for the first time ever. This podcast builds on the ideas in that book and is intended to be like the little angel on your shoulder, providing a counter narrative to the negative thoughts and impulses that are floating around both out there and inside your own head. My mission is two-fold: to help you keep growing, and to inspire you to use your power for good.

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How To
Before You Burnout EP: 247
6 min
Confrontation Nation: Expert Tips on Having Dif...
Bestselling author of "Difficult Conversations" and 20-year member of the Negotiation Project at Harvard Sheila Heen comes on to share some pointers on how to have these tough talks--including those that involve calling out or calling in racism.
17 min
Confrontation Nation:Things to Say EP: 245
Today I'm giving you four phrases to keep in your back pocket for when you get into difficult conversations/disagreements with folks that will help steer you away from getting into an "I'm right," "No, I’m right?" dynamic.
6 min
Confrontation Nation:Embrace Your Influence EP:...
This episode is especially for all my fellow conflict avoiders. And the big idea I want to explore today is that each of us has influence. And when we avoid controversial subjects because we’re afraid of getting into ig, we violate one of the tenets...
6 min
Confrontation Nation: We Can’t All Be Right EP:...
There’s a principle we can grasp onto that will help us navigate tough discussions, and that is that it is impossible for everyone to be right. So stop trying to prove your point.
10 min
Confrontation Nation: What’s the Better Person ...
You used to more or less be able to decide when you wanted to wade into a potentially heated conversation. Now you can stumble into them multiple times a day. What's a person who's trying to be a better person to do? Face them head on, or keep the peace?
7 min
Day 10: It’s All About Stamina: When You Can’t ...
Doing the things that help you stay strong isn’t an all or nothing proposition. And when you can’t do a lot, doing a little is a great second place option. (Featuring many listener-submitted things to do that help you keep going.)
5 min
Day 9: It’s All About Stamina: Hello Discomfor...
The way you think about the things that are requiring you to develop your stamina has an awful lot to do with how much you are able to take. To increase your wherewithal, you've got to increase your tolerance for discomfort.
6 min
Day 8: It’s All About Stamina: How to Cultivate...
To help us all think about how to go about cultivating more grit I wanted to talk to a pro, so I reached out to Shannon Huffman Polson, the youngest woman ever to climb Mt. McKinley, one of the first women to be trained to fly an Apache helicopter...
10 min
Day 7: It’s All About Stamina: Take a Schlub Da...
When you are living through a challenging time, you’ve got to let some things slide. And because they help refill your well, you really don’t want those things to be your self-care. So… what gives?
6 min
Day 6: It’s All About Stamina: Listen for what’...
The things that are weighing heavy on your mind and your heart are also detracting from your stamina. And Lord knows, there are so many of them right now, particularly in the realm of interpersonal interactions.
7 min
Day 5: It’s All About Stamina: Fast Forward 50 ...
Thinking about how you’ll think about what you’re going through today in 10, 20, or even 50 years really helps problems feel smaller, and when your problems feel less daunting, it’s easier to keep going.
7 min
Day 4: It’s All About Stamina: Embrace Downtime...
Building in some white space into your life will help you have more stamina for when things are busy, and help you have less stress when they aren’t.
5 min
Day 3: It’s All About Stamina: Eating for Resil...
There are lots of different ways to build your stamina, from adjusting your mindset to getting good sleep to eating the foods the fuel you up instead of deplete you.  That’s why today I’m talking with the Queen of All Things Nutrition, Mary...
15 min
Day 2: It’s All About Stamina: Strengthen Your ...
Every challenge has an opportunity wrapped up inside it. Even the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad challenges, like, say, a global pandemic. And one of those opportunities now is to strengthen and hone our ‘keep going’ muscles.
7 min
Day 1: It’s All About Stamina: Find A Rhythm a...
Giving your days a basic rhythm will help ground you and make sure you’re doing the things that sustain you without having to spend a lot of effort on having to find the time or the motivation to do them.
7 min
Day 5: Operation De-Escalation: Work Out the Is...
Today I’m talking with fitness expert and author Ellen Barrett about how to pump up your own happiness and give your stress a release valve by moving your body--not by pounding out a workout, but by enjoying some energy-raising movement.
16 min
Day 4: Operation De-Escalation: Declare a Morat...
Complaining, while tempting, and human, only heightens tension rather than defuses it. Here's what you can do instead.
9 min
Day 3: Operation De-Escalation: 3 Surefire Ways...
There are certain things that you just don’t want to do if your goal is to de-fuse tension. And we all do them. So let's take a look at them.
7 min
Day 2: Operation De-Escalation: It’s All About ...
Tone matters. It has always mattered, but it matters now more than ever. (And it's what helped me not get into a fight with a stranger in the coffee bean aisle.)
7 min
Day 1: Operation De-Escalation: It’s TENSE Out ...
This week, I’m devoting all the episodes to what I’m calling Operation De-Escalation, because we are all on our last nerves. We'll explore ways you can help take things down a notch, both in the outside world and in your own mind. And today is all...
8 min
"Best Of": Are You a Tortoise, a Hare, or a Tor...
This is one of my personal favorites because when I answered this question for myself, it helped me find a process that helped me get my work done without feeling guilty or stressed--and it can help you do the same thing. See you next week with new...
6 min
"Best Of": What Pink Elephants Are Talking to ...
Ooh, this is a juicy episode that helps you poke around in your subconscious and figure out why you do the things you do AND why you don’t do the things you don’t do.  
8 min
"Best Of": Forgive YOUR Mistakes EP: 224
This episode helped put How to Be a Better Person podcast on the map when it got mentioned in an article called "The 7 Podcasts Will Help You Achieve Your Goals in 2020." It offers a deceptively simple, and deceptively powerful, forgiveness exercise...
5 min
"Best Of": Don’t Be an Interrupting Cow EP: 223
This is another 'best of' episode that gives you one simple task to do for the rest of the day, and that is to do whatever it takes to not interrupt anyone. It's harder than it might sound (and shows just how challenging it can be to truly listen).
6 min
"Best Of": Let Someone Else Go First EP: 222
Know that awkward moment, at a 4-way stop sign or on a sidewalk, when you don't know who should go first? Just for one day, be the person who waves the other person on. It's nice, yes, but it also alleviates decision fatigue (and dispels awkwardness).
5 min
"Best Of": Your Ticket Out of Judgment-Land EP:...
As you head out to celebrate the 4th of July, you are probably going to see plenty of examples of behavior that you are going to want to judge something fierce.  This 'best of' episode will help you either a) head judgment off at the pass, or b)...
9 min
"Best Of": The Need for Alone Time Is Real EP: 220
Alone time is an important component of emotional hygiene, but since Covid-19 struck, it's been in limited supply for those folks who live with other people--especially when those other people are your children.  
10 min
"Best Of": The Importance of Being Naughty EP: 219
Yes, it's a worthy effort to try to be and do better. But if that's all you do, it can start to feel like you're wearing a too-tight jacket. And then you want to just give up. This 'best of' episode helps you keep making progress while also cutting...
5 min
"Best Of": Say What You Mean, But Don’t Be a Je...
Here's another one from the vault that pertains to relationships. It's a mantra that helps you find the right balance between being truthful and being kind. (And includes a story about my daughter that will send you straight back to 6th grade.)
7 min
"Best Of": If You Want to Be a Better Partner,...
Repairing after a fight is a rarely taught skill that helps you keep your relationship strong even when there’s been a disturbance in the force. And let's face it, with all the upheaval 2020 has brought with it thus far, it's easier than ever to...
7 min
Baby Steps for Better Health: Vitamin Nature EP...
Getting more nature in your life helps ease everything from inflammation to anxiety and depression. Even more importantly, in my mind, is it gives you a mental reset, and oh my goodness gracious, who doesn’t need a mental reset right about now?
6 min
Baby Steps for Better Health: Smoothies for Pre...
I truly believe that smoothies are the perfect food for this moment because they’re delicious, chock full of whole foods, and require minimal prep and minimal cleanup. Smoothies for president!
8 min
Baby Steps for Better Health: Embrace Movement ...
You're stuck at home, your gym is probably still closed (or maybe you're nervous about going)--how can you keep up with moving the ole bod during quarantine? Biomechanist, author, and all-around smarty pants Katy Bowman can help you think about...
26 min
Baby Steps for Better Health: Do This as Soon a...
We’ve all heard the advice to drink 8 glasses of water a day, but most of us are still drinking the same amount of water that we ever were. Which is, let’s face it, probably not enough. Here's an awesome way to boost health by boosting hydration...
5 min
Baby Steps for Better Health: Ask Yourself This...
There are probably things you’ve been doing to help you cope with these weird, weird times that maybe aren’t the healthiest choices. That is totally OK and very human of you. But it’s very possible that the coping mechanisms we adopt now will...
7 min
The Inner Work of Anti-Racism: Don’t Go It Alon...
If you are committed to doing the work required to become an anti-racist, it’s a wonderful thing, but you don’t want to go it alone. We need anti-racism to spread beyond ourselves and to do that, we have to link up with other people. 
8 min
The Inner Work of Anti-Racism: Owning Your Own ...
Today’s big idea is that each of us has to take responsibility for our own education about the issues we care about. 
8 min
The Inner Work of Anti-Racism: Separating Perso...
Andrea J. Lee is a master coach who helps people do the things that feel impossible--kind of like dismantling racism might feel. She's here to help us discern the difference between feeling personally offended and morally offended, so that we can be...
15 min
The Inner Work of Anti-Racism: Being OK With Me...
Today’s big idea is that a huge, monumental piece of the inner work that it will take for white people to truly become anti-racists, both in their own minds and out in the world, is getting more comfortable with messing up.
7 min
The Inner Work of Anti-Racism: It’s Time to Adm...
Today we're wrestling with with a basic, fundamental question that is on more people’s minds than ever at this particular point in history: are you racist or not? 
8 min
Welp, That Sucks: We've Got to Break Up with th...
Today’s big idea is something that’s tough to swallow and also a path to hopefulness. And that is that we need to accept the reality that the past is not anything we’re going to get back to.
7 min
Welp, That Sucks: Are the Kids Alright? EP: 205
This is a tough time for everyone, for a lot of reasons. But our kids are really taking this on the chin, at all ages. So let's check in on how they're doing and how we might be able to better support them through it. 
8 min
Welp, That Sucks: Moms Are Taking It on the Chi...
Now that kids are home pretty much all the time, there’s been a lot of coverage in the media about how women are bearing the brunt of taking care of kids while schools, daycares, and now camps are shut down. I want to take a look at the reality of...
21 min
Welp, That Sucks: And the Hits Just Keep on Com...
As the coronavirus continues to be a factor in our lives, we’re having to continually deal with new and different shades of grief. Because that’s really what’s at the crux of so much of the news regarding the pandemic--loss. And the tricky thing...
7 min
Planning in a Time When Planning Is Impossible ...
Will schools be back in the fall? Is it safe to fly, and even if we decide it’s safe, will flights be canceled? If you’ve been furloughed, when will you get called back? Will you get called back? How long will COVID be part of our mental...
8 min
#podcastblackout EP: 201
In solidarity with the Black Lives Matter movement, I am not posting new episodes this week. In this quick episode, I explain why I'm participating in the #podcastblackout. I'll be back next week--and in the meantime, let's stay connected on Facebook...
3 min
Activism In a Socially Distanced World EP: 200
Today’s big idea is how to make change in a socially distanced world. After all, all the problems we had before Covid are still there. Many of them are getting worse--economic inequality, violence against black people. Elections are coming up....
8 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Blowing Off...
There’s something about quarantine that’s good that’s not all peace, love and understanding. And that is being crabby and salty.  
5 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Supporting ...
I remember after 9/11 happened when George W Bush addressed the country and said the most important thing we could do was go shopping. I remember thinking, really? Buying stuff is important now? We’re feeling that same tension today, as staying home...
19 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Building Ki...
Today I'm interviewing Emma Johnson, founder of , about how to foster resilience in our kids as their world is completely changed. It's easy to say, oh kids are resilient, but how we talk to them and treat them has a TON to do with how well they...
18 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Keeping it ...
Now that we’re forced to slow down, doesn’t the hectic pace of our former lives feel a little insane? Is having a jam packed schedule where we’re wringing everything we can out of every moment something we even want to get back? 
9 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: The Ministr...
Quarantine has forced us to embrace new things. This isn’t always easy for us humans, as new things mean change and change can be scary. Like it or now, the quarantine has forced us to be inventive. One of my favorite examples of this is the...
8 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Food Glorio...
Our relationship to food has been going through a transformation these last few weeks: more meal planning, more cooking at home, and more whole foods. There’s been stress baking. And stress eating. And food insecurity. What about the way you've been...
5 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: The Beauty ...
As we’ve all stayed home, we’ve let a lot of things slide on a personal care level. And I wonder, how much do we WANT to carry forward? Is this an opening for all of us to be more real in our appearance? Let’s break it down. 
6 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Now That We...
Today I'm talking to someone who's a whiz at building and nurturing relationships to share how we can keep up the connections we've made during quarantine--and what meeting people in the future might look like.
14 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Take Stock,...
Just like we want to take a clear-eyed look at the positive changes that quarantine has brought about and decide what we want to bring with us as we re-emerge, we also want to think about what we want to leave behind because it really didn’t serve...
7 min
Keeping the Best of the Quarantine: Take Stock,...
This week and next, I’m going to be taking a look at the things the quarantine allowed us to experience that maybe we want to keep around, even when we’re starting to re-emerge. 
7 min
Think About How You’ll Feel the Day After EP: 189
It feels SO GOOD to get out and do some of the things we used to do. But just because it’s technically OK for us to get out more, it’s not a get out of jail free cards--the virus is still circulating. You really want to be able to be mindful about...
7 min
One of the Best Ways to Help Keep the Curve Fla...
A huge piece of minimizing an outbreak of any infectious disease is called contact tracing--it’s the tedious, old-fashioned work that takes a lot of humanpower. You and I can help with this effort big time by keeping a journal of everyone we’ve...
7 min
How to Tell Fact from Fiction During a Global ...
During this time of Covid, we're all needing to beef up our science skills so we can stay up to date and make the best decisions for ourselves and our families. It's not enough just to take the information in, we've got to process it and then put it...
15 min
Enhance Your Ability to Roll With It EP: 186
One of the most tough to swallow pieces of life in the time of covid is that we don’t know what’s going to happen. The opportunity it presents is that we are getting a fabulous opportunity to learn how to roll with things. 
9 min
Bid “Normal” Adieu EP: 185
This week is devoted to exploring how we can re-emerge from quarantine mindfully. I’m kicking things off with a really deep, perhaps unpleasant, big idea. And that is, that as much as we are eager for things to “get back” to normal, there is no...
9 min
Calm the Eff Down Challenge: Week 3 Recap and W...
Let’s take a look back at this final week, which was all about calming down in your own mind. Mindset shifts are subtle, a little squishy, even, but they have so much power to shift you into a better state overall. 
8 min
Your Secret Weapon: Acceptance EP: 183
All we can do during these times is roll with it as best we can. And that requires you to surrender. It isn’t giving up. It’s really just laying down your resistance. It means you get to stop putting effort into trying to change things you...
6 min
How to Feel Safe in an Unsafe World EP: 182
SO excited to be talking to Jill Miller, author of "The Roll Model" and creator of, as she is honestly one of the BEST people I know to talk about how to help yourself calm the eff down. Jill shares the 5 tools we all always have at...
20 min
The Need for Alone Time Is Real EP: 181
For those of us quarantined with other people--especially parents with kids--there is a whollllllle lotta together time. In many ways, it’s great. But alone time is also how we catch up to ourselves, process our emotions, and recuperate, kind of...
10 min
Eff the Eff Bomb EP: 180
So....about that time I cursed at a total stranger, right to her face. <smacks forehead> Cursing is cathartic, but it's also a slippery slope.
12 min
In this second week of the challenge we’ve covered ways to reduce stress in your relationships, so that whether you are cooped up together or separated from each other, you can still feel connected. Here's a recap as well as an assignment for the...
6 min
When you get frustrated, remember that we are in really weird extraordinary time and let that help you lower your expectations about everything.
9 min
I talk to Judi Ketteler, author of the new book "Would I Lie to You?", about how to be real with your kids without hurting their feelings--since we're all stressed out, it's easy to blurt out things you wish you hadn't said.
24 min
You don’t get to say how the people you love handle their stress. You do get to talk with them about how they’re handling their stress, but you don’t get to tell them how to do it. 
10 min
Corona shaming is real! We are all judging each other like crazy right now. So let’s take a little look-see at what judgment is all about.
9 min
Calm the Eff Down Week 1 Recap and Weekend Assi...
Today I’m doing things a little bit differently in that I’m offering a re-cap of what we talked about this week. My hope is that it will help you integrate the stuff we covered and take it all out for a spin over the weekend. 
6 min
One of the Hardest Parts of Right Now Is Also O...
It’s impossible to make plans these days. And the past already feels like a distant memory. Where does that leave us? Right here, right now. And for many of us, that is someplace we are not at all used to being. That’s the discomfort. The gift is...
7 min
Stop Unconsciously Adding to Your Own Stress EP...
You probably think you know what to do when you’re stressed. But the things we typically do to calm ourselves down often only make our stress worse. That’s because what we need in times of duress is likely to be what we don’t usually do, and...
9 min
Oh the Joy of Wine (or Weed) (or Both) EP: 171
Today’s big idea is taking an objective, non-judgmental, genuinely curious look at the things we are using to numb out now. Whatever it is, I’m not here to tell you not to do it. I’m just saying, be mindful. Make it a choice. Why?
9 min
We Are on an Emotional Roller Coaster: There Wi...
We are on an Emotional Roller Coaster right now. This a straight up fact. And what do roller coasters have? Highs, and lows. Accepting that this is where we are, and that our feelings are going to be all over the place, will help us deal with all the...
8 min
What Pink Elephants Are Talking to You? EP: 169
Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do? Or why you don’t do the things you don’t do? Your subconscious knows quite a lot about what your unwritten rules (that I call pink elephants--more on that in the episode) are, but you have to do a...
6 min
Name Your Buttons EP: 168
We all have different things that stress us out. But what we all have in common is that we all have buttons and they all get pushed. When you know more about your buttons, you don’t get as blindsided when they get pushed.
5 min
Do Something Instead Stressing About Doing Some...
I have been practicing yoga for 25 years. And pretty much every time I do it, I try to talk myself out of it. Why do we do this to ourselves?? Let's find out.
7 min
Women Are the Moon. Men Are the Sun. Here’s How...
This episode is for my partnered up listeners, and while I’m talking about the difference between masculine and feminine energies, I believe the advice contained here applies to couples of all types. But first: How’s it going, being quarantined...
10 min
We Need You to Get Quiet EP: 165
Have you noticed how “quiet” it is outside? How you can hear what feels like hundreds of birds? Now that the outside world has quieted down, maybe you’ve noticed how loud it is inside your own mind. Let's make your inner world a little more like...
8 min
Make Space for Relaxation (Make Space to Chill)...
If you’re waiting for a feeling of calm to descend on you, like a bird on your shoulder, you’re going to be waiting a long time. You’ve got to invite it in, and a really powerful way to do that is to create some space in your home for...
6 min
Make Your Muscles Happy EP: 163
Sitting is bad for you. We know this. And yet being confined to your home means it’s easier than ever to spend the vast majority of your day sitting. Stretching helps combat the physical toll that sitting takes on you.
5 min
Stay Focused on What you Know to Be True (Check...
The news cycle has our attention in a death grip. You can change your mind about how you’re doing and what’s going to happen three times every hour. You need access to your inner wisdom more than ever in this high stakes crisis. Here’s how to...
6 min
Support Your Relaxation Response EP: 161
Stress is mental but it’s also physiological. There are many different supplements that can help your physiology be able to handle stress better. Today I’m sharing the two—just two---that my years of writing both magazine articles and books...
6 min
Quiet Your Nervous System EP:160
In times of high stress—and right now is undeniably one of those times—your nervous system is on alert, like a dog with its ears pricked up. Unless you do something to proactively counterbalance it, your nervous system will stay hyper stimulated....
7 min
Send Positivity into the World EP:159
We need friends now more than ever—they help us laugh, they give us space to share our fears, and they remind us of who we are when we’re not being someone’s mom or wife or employee. In short, they help you get your crazy out! 
6 min
Don’t let the Crisis Wreck Your Back EP: 158
With all of us working remotely in not necessarily ergonomic conditions, and obsessively scrolling through social media, looking at our screens is wrecking our posture. In today’s episode I’m sharing one thing you can do to combat the toll all...
6 min
Help Your Kids Feel Safe EP: 157
 Kids need a space to share their concerns. They also need help not staying focused on the scary stuff. Here’s a ritual you can do to help your kids process their feelings a bit while still being grateful. 
5 min
Close Open Loops EP: 156
Closing open loops helps give you a sense of much-needed sense of control right about now; it also helps you get clarity and move forward, even when there are so many things that remain out of your control. 
4 min
More Will Be Revealed (Be OK with Not Knowing) ...
My tip for you today is in the form of a phrase that I find helpful whenever I notice that I am starting to feel anxious about what’s going to happen next. And that phrase is, ‘More will be revealed.” 
3 min
Happy at Home, Day 5: Homekeeping as Sanity EP...
I know that doing household chores can feel like a grind. But here’s the thing: Chores provide us many many wonderful things that we need now more than ever.
5 min
Happy at Home, Day 4: How to Isolate Without Fe...
Now is an opportunity to put something back into our lives that maybe had gotten squeezed out before-- and that’s checking in more often with people.  It’s not just something to do--it’s how we get through this, together. 
7 min
Happy at Home, Day 3: How to Deal with Your Big...
Our lives have changed, and that is a loss. And loss goes hand in hand with grief. If you are feeling like there’s no way in heck you are going to be able to take this quarantine, you might be having a (very natural) resistance to grieving. This...
9 min
Happy at Home, Day 2: Being Productive While Qu...
While regular life may be interrupted, many of us still need to get work done. From home. Where our kids are also likely to be. Which means… focus can be hard to find. Oh, I feel this so hard! 
6 min
Happy at Home, Day 1: The Importance of Routine...
During uncertain times a daily routine helps your mind find rest. It gives you structure, and structure gives you stability. Here are some guidelines for creating a routine that supports you now and into the future. 
8 min
Put On Your Own Mental Oxygen Mask EP: 149
If you’re a parent, you’re facing a double whammy right now of managing your own anxieties about the coronavirus while also modeling resilience and stress management for your kids. Here’s how you can put on your own mental oxygen mask first. 
6 min
Stay Home. Get Counted! (Why Filling Out the Ce...
Get counted by the census helps you take care of your family, your neighbors, you’re your extended community throughout your state. And luckily, in this age of social distancing, it’s something you can easily do from home. 
7 min