How To Be A Better Person with Kate H...

Start your day with one simple thing you can do in the next 24 hours to be your better self--not so you can be a perfect person. Or even a good person! Just... better.

I wrote the book "How to Be a Better Person" after "be a better person" topped the list of most popular New Year's resolutions for the first time ever. This podcast builds on the ideas in that book and is intended to be like the little angel on your shoulder, providing a counter narrative to the negative thoughts and impulses that are floating around both out there and inside your own head. My mission is two-fold: to help you keep growing, and to inspire you to use your power for good.

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How To
Calm the Eff Down Challenge: Week 3 Recap and W...
Let’s take a look back at this final week, which was all about calming down in your own mind. Mindset shifts are subtle, a little squishy, even, but they have so much power to shift you into a better state overall. 
8 min
Your Secret Weapon: Acceptance EP: 183
All we can do during these times is roll with it as best we can. And that requires you to surrender. It isn’t giving up. It’s really just laying down your resistance. It means you get to stop putting effort into trying to change things you...
6 min
How to Feel Safe in an Unsafe World EP: 182
SO excited to be talking to Jill Miller, author of "The Roll Model" and creator of, as she is honestly one of the BEST people I know to talk about how to help yourself calm the eff down. Jill shares the 5 tools we all always have at...
20 min
The Need for Alone Time Is Real EP: 181
For those of us quarantined with other people--especially parents with kids--there is a whollllllle lotta together time. In many ways, it’s great. But alone time is also how we catch up to ourselves, process our emotions, and recuperate, kind of...
10 min
Eff the Eff Bomb EP: 180
So....about that time I cursed at a total stranger, right to her face. <smacks forehead> Cursing is cathartic, but it's also a slippery slope.
12 min
In this second week of the challenge we’ve covered ways to reduce stress in your relationships, so that whether you are cooped up together or separated from each other, you can still feel connected. Here's a recap as well as an assignment for the...
6 min
When you get frustrated, remember that we are in really weird extraordinary time and let that help you lower your expectations about everything.
9 min
I talk to Judi Ketteler, author of the new book "Would I Lie to You?", about how to be real with your kids without hurting their feelings--since we're all stressed out, it's easy to blurt out things you wish you hadn't said.
24 min
You don’t get to say how the people you love handle their stress. You do get to talk with them about how they’re handling their stress, but you don’t get to tell them how to do it. 
10 min
Corona shaming is real! We are all judging each other like crazy right now. So let’s take a little look-see at what judgment is all about.
9 min
Calm the Eff Down Week 1 Recap and Weekend Assi...
Today I’m doing things a little bit differently in that I’m offering a re-cap of what we talked about this week. My hope is that it will help you integrate the stuff we covered and take it all out for a spin over the weekend. 
6 min
One of the Hardest Parts of Right Now Is Also O...
It’s impossible to make plans these days. And the past already feels like a distant memory. Where does that leave us? Right here, right now. And for many of us, that is someplace we are not at all used to being. That’s the discomfort. The gift is...
7 min
Stop Unconsciously Adding to Your Own Stress EP...
You probably think you know what to do when you’re stressed. But the things we typically do to calm ourselves down often only make our stress worse. That’s because what we need in times of duress is likely to be what we don’t usually do, and...
9 min
Oh the Joy of Wine (or Weed) (or Both) EP: 171
Today’s big idea is taking an objective, non-judgmental, genuinely curious look at the things we are using to numb out now. Whatever it is, I’m not here to tell you not to do it. I’m just saying, be mindful. Make it a choice. Why?
9 min
We Are on an Emotional Roller Coaster: There Wi...
We are on an Emotional Roller Coaster right now. This a straight up fact. And what do roller coasters have? Highs, and lows. Accepting that this is where we are, and that our feelings are going to be all over the place, will help us deal with all the...
8 min
What Pink Elephants Are Talking to You? EP: 169
Do you ever wonder why you do the things you do? Or why you don’t do the things you don’t do? Your subconscious knows quite a lot about what your unwritten rules (that I call pink elephants--more on that in the episode) are, but you have to do a...
6 min
Name Your Buttons EP: 168
We all have different things that stress us out. But what we all have in common is that we all have buttons and they all get pushed. When you know more about your buttons, you don’t get as blindsided when they get pushed.
5 min
Do Something Instead Stressing About Doing Some...
I have been practicing yoga for 25 years. And pretty much every time I do it, I try to talk myself out of it. Why do we do this to ourselves?? Let's find out.
7 min
Women Are the Moon. Men Are the Sun. Here’s How...
This episode is for my partnered up listeners, and while I’m talking about the difference between masculine and feminine energies, I believe the advice contained here applies to couples of all types. But first: How’s it going, being quarantined...
10 min
We Need You to Get Quiet EP: 165
Have you noticed how “quiet” it is outside? How you can hear what feels like hundreds of birds? Now that the outside world has quieted down, maybe you’ve noticed how loud it is inside your own mind. Let's make your inner world a little more like...
8 min
Make Space for Relaxation (Make Space to Chill)...
If you’re waiting for a feeling of calm to descend on you, like a bird on your shoulder, you’re going to be waiting a long time. You’ve got to invite it in, and a really powerful way to do that is to create some space in your home for...
6 min
Make Your Muscles Happy EP: 163
Sitting is bad for you. We know this. And yet being confined to your home means it’s easier than ever to spend the vast majority of your day sitting. Stretching helps combat the physical toll that sitting takes on you.
5 min
Stay Focused on What you Know to Be True (Check...
The news cycle has our attention in a death grip. You can change your mind about how you’re doing and what’s going to happen three times every hour. You need access to your inner wisdom more than ever in this high stakes crisis. Here’s how to...
6 min
Support Your Relaxation Response EP: 161
Stress is mental but it’s also physiological. There are many different supplements that can help your physiology be able to handle stress better. Today I’m sharing the two—just two---that my years of writing both magazine articles and books...
6 min
Quiet Your Nervous System EP:160
In times of high stress—and right now is undeniably one of those times—your nervous system is on alert, like a dog with its ears pricked up. Unless you do something to proactively counterbalance it, your nervous system will stay hyper stimulated....
7 min
Send Positivity into the World EP:159
We need friends now more than ever—they help us laugh, they give us space to share our fears, and they remind us of who we are when we’re not being someone’s mom or wife or employee. In short, they help you get your crazy out! 
6 min
Don’t let the Crisis Wreck Your Back EP: 158
With all of us working remotely in not necessarily ergonomic conditions, and obsessively scrolling through social media, looking at our screens is wrecking our posture. In today’s episode I’m sharing one thing you can do to combat the toll all...
6 min
Help Your Kids Feel Safe EP: 157
 Kids need a space to share their concerns. They also need help not staying focused on the scary stuff. Here’s a ritual you can do to help your kids process their feelings a bit while still being grateful. 
5 min
Close Open Loops EP: 156
Closing open loops helps give you a sense of much-needed sense of control right about now; it also helps you get clarity and move forward, even when there are so many things that remain out of your control. 
4 min
More Will Be Revealed (Be OK with Not Knowing) ...
My tip for you today is in the form of a phrase that I find helpful whenever I notice that I am starting to feel anxious about what’s going to happen next. And that phrase is, ‘More will be revealed.” 
3 min
Happy at Home, Day 5: Homekeeping as Sanity EP...
I know that doing household chores can feel like a grind. But here’s the thing: Chores provide us many many wonderful things that we need now more than ever.
5 min
Happy at Home, Day 4: How to Isolate Without Fe...
Now is an opportunity to put something back into our lives that maybe had gotten squeezed out before-- and that’s checking in more often with people.  It’s not just something to do--it’s how we get through this, together. 
7 min
Happy at Home, Day 3: How to Deal with Your Big...
Our lives have changed, and that is a loss. And loss goes hand in hand with grief. If you are feeling like there’s no way in heck you are going to be able to take this quarantine, you might be having a (very natural) resistance to grieving. This...
9 min
Happy at Home, Day 2: Being Productive While Qu...
While regular life may be interrupted, many of us still need to get work done. From home. Where our kids are also likely to be. Which means… focus can be hard to find. Oh, I feel this so hard! 
6 min
Happy at Home, Day 1: The Importance of Routine...
During uncertain times a daily routine helps your mind find rest. It gives you structure, and structure gives you stability. Here are some guidelines for creating a routine that supports you now and into the future. 
8 min
Put On Your Own Mental Oxygen Mask EP: 149
If you’re a parent, you’re facing a double whammy right now of managing your own anxieties about the coronavirus while also modeling resilience and stress management for your kids. Here’s how you can put on your own mental oxygen mask first. 
6 min
Stay Home. Get Counted! (Why Filling Out the Ce...
Get counted by the census helps you take care of your family, your neighbors, you’re your extended community throughout your state. And luckily, in this age of social distancing, it’s something you can easily do from home. 
7 min
The Magical Power of Leftovers EP: 147
Today is Wellness Wednesday on the podcast and I’m coming to you with a tip that can help you eat healthier in less time and with less food waste. And that is to embrace the magical power of leftovers. You may be thinking “ew,” or “boring,”...
4 min
It’s All About Tone EP: 146
Today’s tip can help you communicate better by changing not what you say, but how you say it by becoming more aware of your tone of your voice. 
4 min
One Question That Helps You Not Take Things Per...
Taking things personally is something our mind LOVES to do. We do it without thinking. And whenever we do it, we make it a lot harder to see things clearly. But if you don’t know you’re doing it, is it possible to stop? Yes. 
5 min
Day 5: De-Clutter Your Digital Life Re-boot You...
Today, on this last day of the week. I’m asking you to do something that’s really going to give you some objectivity on your tech habits. It might sound a little daunting, but I’m here to tell you that it is doable. AND that it is powerful. Even...
6 min
De-Clutter Your Digital Life: Day 4: Take Aim a...
Today your assignment is to choose THE MOST annoying thing about your digital life, and do something to alleviate it.
5 min
De-Clutter Your Digital Life, Day 3: What’s Pos...
Today, it’s time to talk about what will probably happen when you start looking to your tech devices as much as you once were.
6 min
De-Clutter Your Digital Life, Day 2: De-Vegas Y...
A huge piece of what makes our phones so addictive is that they are designed to razzle dazzle your mind, the same way that the floor of a Las Vegas casino is. Let’s make them more boring.   
7 min
De-Clutter Your Digital Life, Day 1: What’s You...
Your Digital Clutter Quotient is a simple number that reflects just how stressed you are by your devices. Seeing this number helps motivate you to make changes by helping you objectively see just how much your digital life is contributing to your...
5 min
Save Your Sanity, Your Relationship, and Maybe ...
How outsourcing can save your sanity, your relationship (because then you can stop fighting about who’s going to do it), and maybe even the economy. 
6 min
The Perils of Trying to Fix People’s Problems E...
When someone you love is going through something painful, here’s what I’m guessing you want to do: jump in. Start helping. Maybe even try to fix it for them. While your intentions are good, your efforts can be harmful.
4 min
How to Trigger Your Relaxation Response EP: 137
Today I’m sharing a simple, powerful way to cue your relaxation response so that you can get out of that stressed out state where your body feels like crap. And that is to do something to invert your body. 
5 min
Where to Find Your Best Ideas (Hint They’re Hid...
Great ideas aren’t “out there.” There’re right in front of you. And they’re often disguised as a bad idea. It’s like they’re hiding in plain sight. 
5 min
The Importance of Being Naughty EP: 135
While of course I’m a fan of doing what it takes to be a better person, doing all the things that are so good for you can also start to feel just a little too… I don’t know, wholesome. It gets tiring. It can start to get a little...
4 min
How to Spend Time without Filling It EP: 134
Since 2020 is a leap year, tomorrow, February 29th, is a bonus day--kind of like the extra hour we get when we turn back the clocks in the fall, only times 24. And in honor of this very special occasion, I want to suggest that tomorrow is a fantastic...
4 min
What to Say When Someone's Disagreeing With You...
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we are living through some very, very tense times. And that means there are lots of opportunities for you to have disagreements with other people, in real life and online. It can feel disagreeing and being a...
6 min
Really Feel Your Feels EP: 132
The most efficient way through an emotion is to allow yourself to feel it. But that can feel pretty scary, so we try to will ourselves not to feel the feelings. Well, guess how well that works.
4 min
You’ve Got the Access. Use It to Do the Researc...
Information is so easily accessed these days that it’s on all of us to do our own research before we ask someone else if we can pick their brain. 
4 min
Read Books Written By Someone Outside Your Demo...
Reading something by someone’s who has a completely different experience of the world from helps you have a more attuned, realistic, and empathetic view of the world around you.
6 min
The Power (and Beauty) of Doing Something You S...
Allowing yourself to suck at something also gives you the opportunity to immerse yourself in something that’s super powerful, and that’s beginner’s mind.
5 min
Say What You Mean, But Don’t Be a Jerk EP 128
Today I’m talking about how to find the right balance between being truthful and being kind. Because it’s not always easy to find. And sometimes it feels downright impossible. 
6 min
Swing Those Arms EP: 127
Today’s tip can help you tone your arms, prevent low back pain, and improve your breast health and overall immunity--all by doing something that you have to do every day of your life with just a smidge more intention. 
8 min
Ask Dumb Questions EP: 126
Too often, we don’t ask a question because we’re afraid of looking stupid. But the truth is, if you’re confused about something, chances are someone else is too. Asking dumb questions helps bring clarity, and clarity is everyone’s friend....
4 min
What Motivates You? EP: 125
Just like passion in a relationship wanes, so does passion in life. It’s motivation that will keep you going when that happens.
5 min
Be a Better Partner, Day 5: How I Stopped Hatin...
I spent the first couple years of our marriage fairly obsessed with who was doing what in our relationship--and I always seemed to be the one who was losing. It wasn’t until I STOPPED doing this one thing that things started to shift (and we stopped...
8 min
Be a Better Partner, Day 4: Take Care of Yourse...
People learn how to treat us by observing how we treat ourselves. And if you are not taking exquisite care of yourself, well, you can’t expect that anyone else will be able to, either, Even the person who loves you the most and is committed to your...
8 min
Be a Better Partner, Day 3: It’s All About Repa...
Today’s tip, part of Be a Better Partner Weeks, can help you keep your relationship strong even when there’s been some disturbance in the force.
6 min
Be a Better Partner, Day 2: See the Flip Side E...
I’m coming to you today with a tip that will help you think differently about the things your partner does or ways your partner is that drive you crazy. Because let’s be honest, we all have things about our partner that make us nuts.
6 min
Be a Better Partner, Day 1: Relate, Not Manipul...
Welcome to Be a Better Partner week here on How to Be a Better Person! Today’s tip is about a fundamental attitude shift in how you approach every conversation with your partner.
9 min
Repair Before You Replace EP:119
Mending something instead of replacing it takes exponentially fewer resources than buying a whole new thing. It also saves you money. But there’s something else good that happens when you fix something that’s broken instead of buying a new one...
6 min
What to Do About Crying Babies on Planes EP: 118
Imagine that you are slowly filing on to an airplane. You get to your row and, bam, there’s a baby. Dun dun DUN. What do you do?!
7 min
Listen to Your Body’s Cues EP: 117
You may not realize it, but your body is sending you signals all the time. They’re easy to overlook because we like to let our minds run the show. But when you ignore these cues, you miss an opportunity to recognize what you need and then to give it...
5 min
Don’t Be a Bagel, Be a Croissant EP: 116
Today’s tip is a subtle shift in body position that can really radically change your experience at a networking function. You talk to more people, and you also have more fun. The only downside is that it might make you hungry for carbs. =)
4 min
Be Thankful for the Lesson EP 115
When you fail, or mess up, or don’t get what you want, it is a bummer. But if you look a little deeper, there’s always a lesson in it. While I don’t advocate glossing over the hurt, I do absolutely believe that when you ask yourself, “What is...
3 min
What Marie Kondo Forgot All About EP: 114
I loved “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” and gladly dumped every stitch of clothing I own out on to my bed and went to town deciding what no longer sparked joy. But there’s one thing she doesn’t talk about that has been bugging me ever...
4 min
Ask for Help EP: 113
Sometimes circumstances demand that you go it alone, and that’s fine. We all need to be able to take care of ourselves, am I right? But there’s a time and a place for everything, and sometimes that time and place is for asking for help. 
3 min
Add, Don’t Take a Away EP: 112
Today I’m bringing you a tip that will help you increase the nutritional value of your diet across the board without depriving yourself of any “bad” foods. Sounds good right? 
4 min
If You See Spinach, Say Spinach EP: 111
Imagine that you’re sitting in a conference room for a meeting. It’s right after lunch, and people are trickling in slowly. For a minute, it’s just you and one other co-worker. You immediately notice that she has a little piece of spinach...
3 min
The Powerful Tool We All Have But Most Forget E...
Today’s tip can help you think differently about when it’s time to get out there and work for what you want, and when it’s appropriate to take a step back and do something that’s super powerful but not all that well regarded in our society,...
4 min
Vote With Your Dollars EP: 109
No matter how big your social media following is, you are an INFLUENCER via what you buy. Consider this your reminder to use that influence for good. 
5 min
Are You a Tortoise, a Hare, or a Tortare? EP: 108
Everyone has their own pace. YOU have your own pace. Not only is there no shame in knowing and honoring your own speed, there’s power in it.
4 min
Magic Acupressure Points EP: 107
Here are three ways you can take great care of yourself and the ones you love using nothing but the touch of your fingers whenever you’re feeling headachy, stomachache-y, or anxious
7 min
Why You Need to Schedule Admin Time EP: 106
As an adult, there are so many administrative things that need your attention. The reality is that life is a full-time job. And most of us also have other full-time jobs. So when do you get this stuff done without forgetting important details or...
5 min
Own the Fact That You Matter EP: 105
There is some serious stuff going down in the world. It’s a lot to reckon with. It’s awfully easy and tempting to think, what can one person do? But there are at least five major ways you make a difference in yourself, others, and the world at...
4 min
Set a donation goal EP: 104
This idea will help you be more strategic about giving back, whether that’s by donating your money or your time. 
4 min
Stop Hating the Chores EP: 103
Unless you have a live-in household staff, chores are an inescapable part of life that for average Americans add up to a whopping 690 hours a year. Do you really want to hate something that you’re going to spend 690 hours on every year for the rest...
6 min
Let’s Talk About MEAT EP: 102
I am a meat eater, and everyone in my family is a meat eater. I am not here to pooh-pooh it or tell you you should really be a vegetarian or a vegan. I AM suggesting that you make more of your meals each week meat-free, and that you improve the...
5 min
The Benefits of Staring Out the Window EP: 101
I’m going to take a wild guess and say that sitting and staring out the window isn’t exactly hailed as a great thing to do by your boss, but it actually is wonderful for you—and your productivity—in multiple ways
4 min
Why You Should Leave the House EP: 100
Especially in these winter months, it’s easy to overdo it on the hibernation. Leaving the house and going to the thing sounded cool when you first heard about it is how you invite new people, ideas, and opportunities into your life.  
5 min
There’s a Time and a Place for Everything EP: 99
Remembering that there is a time and a place for everything helps you remember that you don’t need to do three things at once: you do one thing, and then the next thing, and then the next. It makes life feel more manageable. 
8 min
Stop Saying “I’m Fine” EP: 98
When you interrupt the automatic reflex of replying to the question “How are you?,” with, “I’m fine” you create an opportunity for something this world needs more and more of… human connection. 
4 min
Ward Off Your Next Virus Before It Starts EP: 97
Let’s make this the cold and flu season where we don’t get taken down for the count by a virus that wouldn’t have been as big a deal if we’d just had stuff on hand to minimize it. 
4 min
Delegate Better EP: 96
Delegating is about more than sharing the workload, it’s also how you empower people. Here’s how to do more of it, and do it better. 
4 min
Transitioning Back into Normal Life After the H...
No matter how you feel about the holidays, they are a giant opportunity to get away from the routines that keep you in a healthy, productive, non-reactive zone. So take a few minutes today to think about the structures you can put in place that will...
5 min
Day 5, Better Than Resolutions Week: The Secret...
This is kind of an obvious tip. But it did not occur to me to set this goal for myself until last year, when I was 48. Sometimes the obvious thing is just too close to see. 
4 min
Day 4, Better Than Resolutions Week: Predict Yo...
Writing a letter to your future self is how you start to focus on something that so most of us forget to think about when we’re wanting to do things differently -- and that is how GOOD we’re going to feel once we’ve done it. And feeling good is...
5 min
Better Than Resolutions Week: Begin How You Aim...
Any time you’re embarking on something new, it really helps to do something right at the start that signifies how you intend to do things from here on out. That means what you decide to do on New Year’s Day sets the tone for the rest of year....
4 min
Day 2, Better Than Resolutions Week: What To Se...
Resolutions are just too big--it’s like trying to eat an elephant. So don’t make any resolutions this year, how about that? Today I’m sharing what I suggest you set instead—they’re not sexy, but they work. 
7 min
Day 1, Better Than Resolutions Week: What’s You...
Let’s face it, few people keep their resolutions. So this week is BETTER THAN RESOLUTIONS week on the podcast. Today your mission is to take the first step in New Year’s planning, and that’s pick a theme for the year ahead. 
7 min
Before You Look Forward, Look Back EP: 89
Taking a moment to look back at the year that’s ending is a crucial piece of the goal-setting process that a lot of people miss; one that can help you go ALL-IN on the coming year. 
5 min
What You Appreciate Appreciates EP: 88
The Dalai Lama says, “The roots of all goodness lie in the soil of appreciation for goodness.” And if you’re listening to a podcast on how to be better person, you’re interested in deepening those roots of goodness, am I right?
6 min
Give Yourself the Gift of Presence EP: 87
Today I’m sharing something that will help you make the most of this particular day, whether you love it or dread it; something that can help you slow down and savor the good stuff, or help you stay steady when all you really want to do is run...
5 min
Remember that Not Everyone Likes the Holidays E...
I’m just here with a quickie today because I know it’s a busy week for a lot of people. I just want to give all of us a reminder that this week is a really really tough week for a lot of people.
2 min
Today Is the Dawn of a New Era—What Do You Wan...
Today’s Monday, but more importantly, it’s the day after the winter solstice. And the day after the winter solstice is the dawn of a new half of a year. The question I’m asking myself and that I’m posing to you in honor of this occasion is…
4 min