Let us assemble to talk about the only pressing subject in college football or the world at large: dogs, and the very dumb things they eat/do/think. (WARNING: Also contains discussion of Spencer pooping outdoors.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you have to confront your evil self in a nightmare zone, that's a spring game. Introducing MORON OPERA, America's finest storytelling mode When a rasslin match convinces you the evil clown is the good guy Florida faces its demons in the funhouse NC State faces its horrifying LACK OF A FACE! And a swamplord from USC's past returns with vengeance Also, football coaches, please just read the card and stop ad-libbing about the pandemic, thanks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode, Spencer and Holly talk to a real live medical doctor about Covid-19 and what you can do to help. Also, there are some very silly conversations about a medical drama starring SEC coaches, rat tails, Godfrey eating an unpleasant but not impossible amount of fast food for charity, and laser tag. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As the Shutdown Fullcast continues quarantine, we review the emergency status of the South's major breakfast chains, give you helpful Italian lessons, and ponder the meaning of unexpected knives. Don't worry if this description doesn't make sense. Nothing else does, either. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're thinking this episode seems strangely like the episodes the Fullcast releases when the world's operating normally, consider this: we were preparing you all along! (We weren't. We don't plan that well.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome to the Shutdown Fullcast, the world's only college football podcast, only Bill Simmons podcast, and only Ringer NBA podcast. Today we're discussing: An American rite of passage: having to sweat in a pig costume on a 95-degree day Seriously, were all of you Piggly Wiggly mascots as kids What to do when Hank Aaron sees you nude What to do when you are a nude Willie the Wildcat The Deontay Wilder entrance costume of dangerously slapped-together dragon mascots "My mom managed a Big Dog Sportswear. Governor Schwarzenegger was coming to the mall." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Time once again for the college football internet's single most reliable content: PICKING COACHES WHO SHOULD FIGHT EACH OTHER Holly, Jason, and Spencer are each managing their own stables, drafting FBS head coaches to build five-man tag teams You, the Podcast Readership, have also filled out a draft board and get a five-coach team of your own Ryan is not here, so we're giving him all the lowest-voted coaches from your draft board Ryan's team will be competing for the Intercontinental title at absolute most Tell a friend about our stupid podcast! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hot streaks are real. Everyone gets that moment - on a basketball court or in a casino or at work or wherever - where you just absolutely cannot be stopped. These are, in effect, the anti-disasters, in which you are the force to be reckoned with. We are here to celebrate those moments, in your lives and in the lives of college football players, even if sometimes they're just "I did this dumb thing multiple times and it didn't kill me!" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jason quizzes Spencer and Holly on all the latest coaching carousel developments; like Nick Saban with a South Florida real estate deal, they struggle to break even but will hopefully get sweet national TV commercial gigs to help them out. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

February means Valentine's Day, and Valentine's Day means romance, and the Shutdown Fullcast means disaster. We review your tales of amorous failure and share a few of our own. Please note: if you have used the Fullcast to find love of your own, we would love to hear about it and we will not be held responsible in the event of your breakup. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spencer and Holly are both out sick, so Jason and Ryan are joined by Banner Society's Alex Kirshner to talk about why Signing Day is suddenly a bad time for USC, what Georgia's rise as a talent state means, and what our individual college processes looked like. As a bonus, we're then joined by longtime contributor Brian Floyd to talk about the coaching change at Michigan State through the lens of "how could you drive an Acura to Africa from very very very far away?" Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Way back in November, we went to Jacksonville and did a live show! I would be lying if I said i remembered the things that we talked about, although I know Florida disasters (football and otherwise) is on there. Also, UConn was playing Navy during the show. They lost by 46, which proves if your choice is come to a Fullcast live show or play Navy in football, you should pick the live show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

If you're Mike Bloomberg or someone associated with the Mike Bloomberg 2020 Campaign, don't read below this. Just reach out (compliance@bannersociety.com) and let's figure out how your money can become our money. If you're not Mike Bloomberg, this episode is about theoretical matchups that would fluster 2019 LSU, and by theoretical we mean everything from very good Miami teams to time-traveling Derrick Henry clones. Does it make sense? More than our proposal for a top-loading microwave does! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Is Odell Beckham Jr. a robot who spits out currency compulsively? Which Olympian was Spencer completely dismissive towards? Why is every Boston College coach's name "[First Name] Boston" and do you care that we just made that up on our own? Is Robocop real and how did he get to New Orleans? Can God make Ed Orgeron so strong that even He can't pin Coach O? Early in this episode, Spencer mentions the memorial fund for Ed Aschoff. If you're interested in donating but don't want to rewind to listen to him read the address, here you go: Donations to the Edward Aschoff Memorial Fund at UF’s College of Journalism and Communications can be made out to the “U.F. Foundation”, sent to P.O. Box 14425, Gainesville, FL 32604, Attn: Gift Processing. Please note "Edward Aschoff Memorial Fund" in the memo area. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

LSU-Clemson promises to be an intriguing game, with plenty of skill talent, schematic variation, and narrative meat to enjoy. And we talk about a lot of those things, because this podcast can talk about football when it wants to, dammit! But first we make you listen to some nonsense about the NFL playoffs, Nas, Ed Orgeron's shopping habits, Spencer's bare legs, and Pokemon. WELCOME! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holly and Spencer really just wanted to talk about the most important event of the bowl season: Kirby Smart taking the heaviest Gatorade bath of all time. (And the resulting stories of our worst workplace spills) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

On this episode, people are injured/attacked by brothers, birds, guns, knives, Nerf ammunition, fool's gravy, squirrels, fish bones, and The Emotional Expectations That Come With Christmas. It's fun! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technically, this is the bowl preview episode that contains both semifinal games. You will therefore not be surprised to learn that we spent most of our time discussing Potato Bowl recipes, Outback menu nutrition information, and whether all citrus fruits are actually just oranges. You're welcome! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Rejoice! The 40 for 40 moves to the location-based bowls, including the Arizona, Belk, Birmingham, Camping World, Mobile, Music City, Sun, and Texas. Somehow, these bowls are turned into a progressively harder video game of sorts, which ends with Jimbo Fisher buying someone else's hair. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At least two things happen on this episode: The Alamo, Armed Forces, Cheez-It, First Responder, Independence, Liberty, and Military Bowls are mentioned in some way. We trade Missouri for Mexico. Which one of those two is worse for national unity? Hard to say. We'll look back in ten or twenty years and know the answer, though, so that's fun. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's time to review the Cotton, Gator, Holiday, Quick Lane, Pinstripe, Red Box, and Rose Bowls based on the following very silly premise - if you had to go back in time and convince 2009 you that this was the 2019 national championship game, what tale would you spin to make that sound convincing? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode starts with a discussion of a long-time Tampa adult entertainment store and mostly ends with unsolved axe murders. Somewhere in between those, there is discussion of the pre-Christmas bowl games, but only as they are theoretically useful for doing crimes. This is the 40 for 40 and shame on you if you expected something different. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dabo Swinney gets into some light idolatry, Nick Saban and Jim Harbaugh will get into a fight on Spaceship Earth, every bowl game is just a 1950s vacation to somewhere with cigarettes, and the Sun Bowl is the only bowl game anyone should really play Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Spencer, Jason, and Ryan meet to review the nominees for the 2019 BVP Award, the award we bestow upon the most college football player of the season. Many deserving candidates were discussed, from Hawaii QB Cole McDonald to LSU QB Joe Burrow's Butt. But only one could win, and we congratulate that winner, who we will not name in this description because that defeats the purpose. We also talked about Coach of the Year and Game of the Year nominees and winners. Are these awards real, you ask? Is anything, on a long enough geologic time span, we counter? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode contains discussion of many important games and coaching changes around the sport of college football, but let us be perfectly clear: the only actually important part of this show is our demand that Mizzou hire Coach Brick. Coach Brick is the way of the future for Mizzou football. Any option that is not Coach Brick is a terrible plan. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices