We're here to ponder which schools would be the funniest first-time national champs in college football (oh right, we cover college football). Oregon is not discussed in this context, because Michael Dyer was down. And first, let's discuss the funnest parts of the 2019 Charity Bowl, which allows you to:  - help people in need  - shame your rivals - force Spencer to get a 1990 Citrus Bowl Champs tattoo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

- But first, Holly has some enriching homework for you - How pro wrestling explains college football and everything else - Kofi Kingston vs. Vince McMahon, the most uncomfortably on-the-nose wrestling feud - A lot about LeBron, for some reason - That's a lie - There's never a reason - Some more wrestling stuff happens? - The offseason will continue and some day the universe will end, thanks for listening Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Los Homely Boys got together in person to talk about the important social issue of the day: Dan Mullen's billowy pants. Per Fullcast statute, there is also some discussion of the Bible and Star Wars, both of which, again, are related to pants. Don't worry, though - we've made our own individual fashion choices that didn't pan out, and so did a couple SPECIAL TEMPORARY GUESTS!  Also! If you haven't yet, please take the Vox Media Podcast Newtork audience survey! It takes no more than five minutes, and it really helps out the show. You can find that survey here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3X6WMNF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What podcast can take a screenshot of a simple chyron error from a local news station in Alabama and turn it into a hastily planned, poorly recorded episode about the SEC Sex Tournament as if that's a real thing or a worthwhile topic? You know who, buddy. You know damn well who. Please note: no episode of the Shutdown Fullcast feels safe for children but this one probably shouldn't even be played on a device that children might later use. Just throw your phone into one of those biohazard bins at the doctor's office after you finish listening. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Shutdown Fullcast heads to the home of Big Cow himself for our first ever ANIMAL DISASTERS episode. What kind of disasters? - The kind where someone decides "a gun in a Publix" is a solution - The kind that involve early 20th century Atlantic City - The kind where your Dad ends up putting multiple holes in the wall - The kind where a mascot becomes a serial killer - Tennessee Volunteers football And so forth. Somehow, Ryan forgot to bring up Noah at all on this episode! What an idiot. (Please note: this is a slightly shorter episode than usual because we cut out the Q&A portion of the show. You gotta show up in person if you want to learn those secrets, sucker.) We are conducting an audience survey to better serve you. It takes no more than five minutes, and it really helps out the show. Please take our survey here: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/3X6WMNF Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

- Yes, the dings stop eventually - IT'S WATER POLO CRIMES DAY! - Psychological profile of hero fugitive Aunt Becky - Consider Arizona State and stay out of jail, you rich nerds - Which SEC team best combines Lord of the Rings and paintball? - Live Brexit updates and analysis - Our new and forever enemy, the worst brand on earth: Mossimo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We, the 2019 State Draft GMs, are splitting the country into five teams for very weird reasons. Why are we doing this at all? You ask too many questions! Just like a cop! WE GOT A COP HERE! - Four teams are good. One is bad. I think you know where Florida ends up - What's the point of this? How do you win? I'm surprised you think there's an answer, but thank you for trying - Who'll be the first to pick a state that was already picked? - What is the state dessert of Missouri? - More explosive: DK Metcalf or the state of Mississippi's geology itself? - Which of us is just playing an actual board game the entire time? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yup, it's Combine time, but we're gonna talk about comic books so deal with it. TOPICS INCLUDE: - Jared Lorenzen would dust you - Vernon Davis vs. The Hulk, who ya got - To this day, all DC characters are written by 8-year-old boys - Character risk? Captain America’s old tweets are a red flag - Which Big 12 team is Galactus? - Advanced analytics: We already know which X-Man would win the 3-cone drill - We love our big stupid Thor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

With the signature timeliness only the Shutdown Fullcast can bring, we're here to discuss football's hot new league, the AAF. It's definitely financially stable and you know that because Rick Neuheisel came here from the Pac-12 Network. Everything he touches turns to gold! I'm pretty sure there's some weird Papa John talk on here as well, though that could be true of any Fullcast episode. Ok, have a great day! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Holly, Spencer, and Jason are joined by Bud Elliott, SB Nation's foremost recruiting expert/lawncare superexpert/State of Florida hypersuper expert. They answer your questions about all of those topics and also get easily distracted, because that's how this show works.  Topics include: The hardest positions to evaluate from high school to college Bud goes in on FSU again Lawns are just places to store unwanted dads Chip Kelly wants you to pick a lunch place Why you should text recruits because the phone is now evil Scouting Bad Boy Mowers' catalog for five-star recruits Very hesitant and skeptical Tennessee praise Chip Kelly doesn't like any of the places you picked for lunch Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You might not have been paying close attention to all the coaching changes in college football over the last couple months, what with bowl games and the playoff and early signing day and the New Year's party you planned that went off the rails because Todd brought Bacardi 151 even though you only asked him to get a couple bottles of wine. Most of us weren't paying attention either, so Jason decided to quiz us as a team to see how many coaching hires we could name.  But first Ryan made everyone talk about Noah, and then Spencer and Holly wanted to share a story of the new friend they made during Super Bowl week.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hanif Abdurraqib (@NifMuhammad) is an accomplished poet, essayist, and cultural critic who has a new book coming out, Go Ahead in the Rain: Notes to A Tribe Called Quest. He's also from Columbus and an Ohio State fan, so yeah, we made him talk about Craig Krenzel, the Ohio-Florida mirror relationship, and where he was when the Buckeyes lost to Purdue this year. We also talked about children being mean to Tom Brady because it's good when children are mean to Tom Brady. Tell your children to be mean to Tom Brady, please!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

From frozen pizzas to self-inflicted food poisoning to the saddest French onion soup in the world, you, our listeners, have managed to truly create disasters that didn't even seem possible in your culinary endeavors. (Seriously, how has MORE THAN ONE OF YOU destroyed a microwave by using it as a timer?) We did not hang you out to dry, however, as we have our own failures to share - including Jason's wife burning down an apartment building before she was old enough to go to school.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The offseason is upon us, which means it's time for all of us to set goals for ourselves and our teams. Will we achieve them? Probably not, but that will not stop us from doing this all again next year. Go Human Brains! Topics on this episode include: 3:21 - The Fullcast hosts as Pokemon types 4:29 - A tribute to a truly great college football hater 15:41 - Your/Our Offseason Goals! 26:57 - What if Dan Mullen poses nude with a shark? 35:12 - Let’s talk about the White House Burger Spread 48:12 - Ok more of Your Offseason Goals Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The 2018 college football season ended with a shocking humiliation of Alabama, so let's review the title game and the best oddball things that happened along the way. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's right, it's the MIDGAME SHUTDOWN CONFERENCE FULLCALL! Featuring: - Special guests Pablo Torre and Bomani Jones - The audio just totally fucking dying pretty early on and poor Pablo wondering what he's been duped into - Delayed reactions to some of the football action because streaming - Snake governments and strip club franchising and casting the movie of this game - About as much football talk as you'd expect Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

That's right, it's time to talk about the last game of the college football season...a third of the way into this college football podcast. GO FULLCAST GO! Your itinerary follows: 3:22 - Does the Bay Area know they’re hosting the National Championship? 8:38 - A brief, NSFW John Mellencamp digression 9:51 - PODCAST BUSINESS 16:22 - The Coaches Room Broadcast, except we get Mark Richt a little baked 17:47 - He’s Big Cow, etc. 20:08 - The point at which we actually start talking about Clemson-Bama 42:26 - Listeners propose alternate title game locations Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yup, the Fighting Irish made it to a big game and got killed, a thing that has happened so many times before that we got to revisit several regular season and bowl game failings by Notre Dame before we even started to talk about the most recent one. Playoff Like A Champion Today! Other topics include: 13:27 - Die Hard explains the Playoffs, kind of, not really 17:03 - If you’re a Gamecock fan just skip like three minutes ahead at this point 19:33 - Nope, not here for your playoff complaints 24:42 - Hey, why did Georgia miss the playoff again? 27:29 - Spencer taunted a Michigan child 37:04 - Farewell, Mark Richt / Bienvenue, Ryan Brothers Farting On Boats (Yeah, we recorded that entire last segment within the 9 hours where Mark Richt had retired and Manny Diaz had not yet taken the job.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Appearing on this program per usual: Spencer, Holly, Jason Appearing on this program only via submitted texts to his cohosts because he lost his voice and getting sick during the holidays is some bullshit: Ryan Bowls discussed on this episode: 6:06: THE OUTBACK BOWL 17:49: THE CITRUS BOWL 24:18: THE FIESTA BOWL 31:50: THE ROSE BOWL 41:32: THE SUGAR BOWL How much we love you: Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Fun fact! We recorded this right before the playoff semifinal disaster, so you can start to see things unraveling. Bowls covered on this episode include: 7:13 - THE MILITARY BOWL 22:18 - THE SUN BOWL 27:55 - THE REDBOX BOWL 35:19 - THE LIBERTY BOWL 44:00 - THE HOLIDAY BOWL 48:55 - THE GATOR BOWL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Technically, this is our 40 for 40 for the Cotton and Orange Bowls, which are both semifinals in the Playoff. But it's really not that at all. Instead, it's a box of broken Christmas ornaments and mouse droppings. So rather than just give you that box, I'm going to explain why the ornaments are like that and how I don't think we can get rid of the mice. Hooray! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nope, this is also not the one that went super wrong. Though it does have an interlude where Spencer and Holly have to clean up a spill and Jason and Ryan are basically left talking to themselves, which we didn't edit out because why lie to you like that? Topics on this episode: 3:12 - THE MUSIC CITY BOWL 12:08 - THE CAMPING WORLD BOWL 26:37 - THE ALAMO BOWL 37:31 - THE PEACH BOWL 39:46 - THE BELK BOWL 47:11 - THE ARIZONA BOWL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Please note: this is not the episode where everything goes terribly, terribly wrong. We'll get to that one, don't worry. This is just the normal amount of things going wrong, focused on the following bowls: 2:28 - THE FIRST RESPONDER BOWL 10:01 - THE QUICK LANE BOWL 15:17 - THE CHEEZ-IT BOWL 27:47 - THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL 32:32 - THE PINSTRIPE BOWL 43:21 - THE TEXAS BOWL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Yup, still doing these. Nope, not particularly close to done yet. Eh, not really sure what we feel like having for dinner tonight. Maybe soup, but like a hearty soup? But not a creamy soup. Makes us all congested. Topics on this episode: 3:35 - THE BIRMINGHAM BOWL 19:45 - THE ARMED FORCES BOWL 29:27 - THE DOLLAR GENERAL BOWL 35:02 - THE HAWAII BOWL Notes from our sponsors:LEGO: In today's show you heard advertising content from The LEGO Store. With LEGO, every gift has a story. Start your story today at https://LEGO.build/Shutdown-Ship Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our long trek through bowl season continues, though on this episode we move forward without the assistance of Jason Kirk (he's fine and you'll see him later, don't be so damn dramatic). On this episode, we talk about: 2:22 THE BOCA RATON BOWL 8:20 THE FRISCO BOWL 14:02 THE GASPARILLA BOWL 24:35 THE BAHAMAS BOWL 31:16 THE FAMOUS IDAHO POTATO BOWL Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices