It's already time to start thinking about the 2017 season, but there's no reason to jump into the deep end. No, we're slowly easing into the calm, lukewarm waters of the SEC's other conference, with a prediction for each team and a goal we're hoping they can reach. Why does Spencer feel okayish about Florida? Who will we be rooting for in Georgia-Notre Dame? How little has Jason prepared for this whole exercise? And at which minute mark will Ryan bemoan his continued existence? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Thanks to you, we brought in nearly $40,000 in this round of the charity drive, and those of you with particularly fat stacks got to call in and serve as the exclusive VIP inquisitors for your usual three hosts AND three unexpected guests. Topics include: - Jason's worst airport experience - How Lane Kiffin is going to run afoul this season - Our scripted college football playoff for maximum jokes/entertainment - Yinzers - Ohio State's seeming lack of down years - Who will accidentally win the Skip Holtz lottery - Garth Brooks, Beyonce, Spin Doctors - all concerts Spencer has attended - Our favorite Saban Alabama losses Once again, many thanks to all of you who donated. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Our friend and colleague Bill Connelly is running for college football commissioner, so we run through the planks of his platform one by one and try to...help? Sure, let's go with help. For example: - How embracing the Olympic model will lead to better local commercials - The awesome recruiting change that means high school coaches with cigarette boats - NCAA 17: Fights In The Stands Edition - Division II Kansas beating Texas - Putting a 5 loss Wisconsin team in the Playoff - POD PEOPLE - Mandatory FCS powerhouse scheduling - The 3 hour time limit and the one point penalty for punting Most of these ideas are stupid. So is this podcast. You have been warned. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's start with a few apologies. First, we apologize that we take forever to actually get to the heart of this episode's topic, but there were Charlie Weis things to discuss and you know quite well we're going to talk about Charlie Weis things. Second, we apologize that this podcast continues to exist. We still don't know why that is. Third, we apologize that we have now encouraged you to go on a group vacation to a national park over a long weekend. It's going to go badly and yes, you should have just gotten those cheap plane tickets to Portugal with your significant other. You don't get Lyme disease from drinking too much wine. (We apologize if you can, in fact, get Lyme disease from drinking too much wine.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two-thirds of the Fullcast is on vacation, but addition by subtraction is real so we invited Holly Anderson to come on and discuss lawncare disasters with us. Highlights include: --The Greatest Tale Ever Told, or How Holly's Dad Cut Their Cable Line With A Power Washer --Why lawnmowers are basically Satan's cigarette lighter he uses to burn down the earth --Zero football content, like maybe there's a second or two in there but it's purely accidental --No really, most of this is just us laughing at you, the listener, and that one time you set an entire orphanage on fire using a weed whacker the wrong way --Why's it posting on a Friday? BECAUSE WE WERE BUSY Y'ALL (Probably putting out a fire started by a lawnmower) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Nick Saban got paid a lot of money to coach Alabama last year. He will get more money thanks to his new deal because nobody will listen to our plan to trick coaches into signing terrible incentive-laden contracts. Don't worry, most of this podcast isn't about the crazy money college football coaches make at the top. It's pointless meanderings about grocery stores, like: - Can you beat Whole Foods at their own hot bar game? - Is Trader Joe's for assholes? - Did you know there are grocery stores where you can buy liquor? - Why are there grocery stores that don't sell liquor? - Are Publix Subs that good? - What's the B in H.E.B. stand for? - Pork bleaching? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It's NFL Draft week, so we asked for your uninformed and inflammatory opinions about the World's Most Televised Job Fair that we might agree with them, or disagree, or just talk about something else altogether. Such takes include! - The Kansas City Chiefs should never draft a quarterback in the first round - Vandy's Zach Cunningham will be the player college fans correctly think fell way too far - The Draft is bad and so is league parity - The Browns should trade the first pick for Bill Belichick - Draft order should be determined by each team sending a player to the Combine to compete - Spencer definitely knows what he's doing as a dad Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Fullcast was gone for a little while, and now it isn't. Naturally, it's time for some meaty football talk about topics like: - Richard Spencer, and how dumb it is to appeal to racists in the South by telling them football is bad - Alex Jones and the neurology of chili consumption - The path to a Rutgers spot (or two) in the College Football Playoff - Florida Atlantic's new recruiting hashtag #BLOWEDUP18 - Kentucky's TaxSlayer Bowl Attendee rings - American Gladiators and Disney (not related, missed opportunity by us) - Mark Davis. Just a banner episode for dumb white guys! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Ryan was sick for this edition of the Shutdown Fullcast, so we got ESPN's own Mina Kimes to join us to discuss an extremely important college football team: The Seattle Seahawks. Mina is now a featured member of the cast; Ryan has been reassigned to the mail room.   Other topics discussed:  --Nick Saban gets out of a helicopter, which is the only actual news --A brief survey of the Washington Huskies’ recent dark years --Why the Pac-12’s deep relaxing chill might give college talent better prospects as professional football players --Pete Carroll’s ability to hypnotize the mothers of recruits with his sheer animal charisma --The discomfort of referring to anyone as a “twelve” outside of the context of professional wrestling --Mina discloses her experience playing The Undertaker in wrestling matches with her brother, and how she sells a Stunner --Celebrations in the football and how a discussion of Korean bat-flipping gets us to the story where Mina does the spinning Homer dance on the floor in the name of doing her job as a journalist --Proven: Jerry Rice is the best Twitter user on the planet Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We continue to test the limits and boundaries of this already poorly-constructed podcast by trying a new format this week: solving your mysteries. Mysteries like! - Why is Wisconsin consistently good? - Why is Cal consistently not given how much NFL talent they generate? - Who conspired to keep Auburn out of the 2004 title game? - What happens if Spencer leaves his two sons alone in a room for more than 10 minutes? - Who's preventing SEC schools from adopting the currency system of John Wick? - When does Will Muschamp reveal that he's got a good offense ok see this format already ran its course Oh yeah, this is also the start of season 5. There's no reasoning here. I just got tired of counting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This whole episode isn't explicitly about Jon Gruden, except it sort of is, if you consider that: - We unnecessarily hate on Stephen A. Smith, who is not Jon Gruden - We ask why more coaches can't follow the Jon Gruden Guide to Eternal Wealth - We talk about goatees and who shouldn't have them; Jon Gruden would never have a goatee - We consider who's going to totally plummet next season and therefore be eligible for Grumors (Jon Gruden Rumors) - We talk about Road House; Jon Gruden is familiar with both roads AND houses. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Instead of questions, we asked you to give us your BOLLLLLD STATEMENTS so that we might judge them and hoobuddy did you deliver. Amongst the opinions that we weighed: - Taco Bell > Chipotle - Texas would have beaten Alabama if Colt McCoy had played - Nebraska was right to fire Bo Pelini - The three of us could not defeat a wolf in combat - No school that hasn't won a title before will win one in the future - Atlanta will soon be a baseball town - Empire Strikes Back and Bill Murray and the Sega Dreamcast are all bad and dumb - Michael Dyer was down Again, these are YOUR opinions, that you shared with us, on a public social media platform, simply because we asked. As a thanks for doing so, we are back to our usual meh-at-best audio quality we love youuuuuuuuu. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We absolutely covered every news item from last week, so this week we're free to talk about less weighty topics, like food poisoning, or the scariest weapon someone can attack you with, or what you should do if you're an Ole Miss fan, or who on our staff is the sloppiest drunk. We also reveal our Emotional Top 10, a meaningless ranking which should not infuriate anyone but well let's not kid ourselves. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Shutdown Fullcast, America's favorite political discussion, addresses Tommy Tuberville's political future, figures out which sitting politicians could most easily slide into coaching (Woo Bill Sooie), considers which woebegone CFB program Earth is, and rambles on about some other stuff, though not as long as we usually do because Spencer was busy lifting or something. Hey, thank you for listening, by the way! You're a peach. A confusing peach. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Two of the Shutdown Fullcast hosts have shot a gun before (the one who hasn't is the one who looks like a Dutch pop singer) which gives us the authority to make broad, sweeping decisions about which states stay in America 2.0 and which states are out. There is also some general discussion of Senator Kid Rock, what the dumbest non-sports sports things are, and why Bill C. and Godfrey should meet us outside because YES WE WILL CONTINUE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT THE STATE OF FLORIDA FOOTBALL TASTE THESE RINGS YOU PUNKS. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if three employees of an Internet-only media outlet could not consistently use the Internet well enough to record a podcast? What if one of those employees had been covering that fact up by carefully editing out all the times where someone disconnects or everything just goes to shit? What if he stopped doing that on this episode? WELCOME! TO THE UNEDITED SHUTDOWN FULLCAST! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Per our guest Bud Elliott, National Signing Day is a thing that has happened and meant things to teams. Teams like Ole Miss, and Stanford, and Oklahoma, and The Wall of Hastily Stacked Human Hearts in Butch Jones's Basement. But we're here to talk about more than just who signed a good class and who didn't. We're here to talk about yard work. We're here to talk about improving your commitment announcement ceremony. And we're even here to talk about how Todd Graham -- yeah, that Todd Graham, the one you're thinking of -- could be the key to saving mankind from self-destruction. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Other than Jim Harbaugh Things, which are always happening because they can't not happen, the college football world is pretty quiet for the time being. Fortunately, there's the Super Bowl! Which we don't really talk about that much, other than to spread a few lies about Boston. There are also questions about regional food because that's the main thing this podcast is about. Again, we're not sure why you listen to it in the first place. Or why we make it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The beginning of the offseason means it's time for promises you won't keep to yourself. One of those might be getting in better shape. Don't do what Oregon did! Listen to us instead and go get a job at Publix! Jason survives a mid-episode attack from the Luftstreitkräfte, and Spencer tells you how to be a more spiteful father. We also have updates on Ryan's very foolish quest to become all things Bloomin' Onion. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Clemson-Alabama rematch was so entertaining and interesting that this might be our least joke-filled episode...ever? We got too caught up admiring Deshaun Watson, and Clemson's receivers, and how their defense played spectacularly for so long that the offensive line could pick itself off the mat when they needed to. We even have lots of positive things to say about Alabama! It's all very confusing and probably a sign that we need to sleep way more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One game remains in this college football season, so, appropriately, we spend a bunch of time on this episode talking about fried chicken restaurants. Theoretically there is also discussion of: - Ohio State's very poor showing/the Clemson Credit Card - New coaches that may be headed for rough first years - Press box fighting rankings - Teams that are likely to be hyperinflated by bowl success - Notre Dame OH YEAH WE FOUND A WAY SUCKERS - My one and only goal for 2017: to become the Bloomin Onion Mascot. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Number 40 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Sugar Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! We are perfectly aware that this game is taking place in 2017 and not 2016 but we are too lazy to change our formatting for these episodes so too bad for you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Number 39 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Rose Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Actually, this one is confusingly positive, about the bowl venue and the players involved and shoot even the coaches. 2016 has been a very trying year. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Number 38 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Cotton Bowl or the teams playinROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT ROW THE BOAT Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Number 37 of 40 bowl previews, in which we may not discuss the Outback Bowl or the teams playing in it whatsoever! Looking at the run time of this episode, you can probably guess whether we do or not! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices