This weeks Dilemma involves Janey, her soon to be turning 14 year old daughter and the Colonel. Janey is a theme queen - her daughter, not so much and when you're stuck in the Melbourne covid lockdown, there's a limit to the party planning you can do. Or is there? Can Em and Michael find an answer? And what's the Colonel got to do with it? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After revealing her traumatising school swim carnival experience in our previous episode, Em opens this episode by issuing a challenge for everyone listening to pass on their embarrassing puberty stories to the children in their life, in an effort to help normalize that experience and lessen the shame that surrounds young bodies as they’re changing. For instance, when the writer of this podcast description was a developing teenager, he chose to attack all the new furry growth on my pants region with my father's dry razor, and then show my younger brothers so they wouldn’t harass me about having hair down there. In hindsight that probably wasn’t a great idea, it opened me up to even more ridicule from my brothers, who also told their friends, plus the experience of having an itch down there from shaving rash when you’re 13, isn’t a fun ride either. Lesson learnt, and perhaps if my parents had helped normalise the changes my body was experiencing, I wouldn’t have introduced myself to manscaping so early. So Em is encouraging you to share those times when your body went rogue as a kid, but also keep it age appropriate, there’s no point freaking them out too early. Michael returns to help Em talk through the steaming shit pile that was the US Presidential debate, Em is willing to declare a winner, Michael does no such thing. Then it’s on to JK Rowling and her transphobic comments and how much that has been affecting people who love the Harry Potter books. Em has recently been grappling with that problem because her youngest daughter Odette is right into Harry Potter at the moment, which raises the question about whether you can separate the artist from their art. To wrap things up, Em and Michael are  basically trying to start a movement by urging Dan Andrews to give himself a break, they think it’s time to issue him with a #DayOffDan. So if you’re ready to get on board with that idea, and everything else we’ve flagged above, assume your favourite listening position and enjoy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I know reality TV has ruined the word ‘journey’ for each and every one of us, so in approaching the writing of the description for this episode, I went searching for another word that would help describe the odyssey (that’s the first one, more to come hehe) you’re about to launch into. We begin this episode with all all the ouchy wah wah info on Em and her sore ankle, she had to be cut from her huffy puffy workout wear and it’s ruined her new running schedule, but also, she’s confined to the couch, so maybe her ankles did this deliberately. Anyway once that’s done, it’s onto all the stuff that’s been going on with Victoria’s Labor Party, which includes Jenny Mikakos leaving, Dan easing restrictions for Victorians and Em and Michael admitting that they don’t really care who’s responsible, they basically just want them to get on with it. There’s also time to delve into what’s going on in the US with Donald Trump’s tax return and his choice for the new Supreme Court Judge to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Then our aural expedition (another word for journey) heads off into painful story town, this one is actually inspired by Em’s latest binge watching obsession of the new series on Stan called ‘Pen15’. It’s a comedic story about middle school as seen through the eyes of two 7th grade girls dealing with the awkwardness of being a teenager. This TV series has given Em the confidence to reveal a story that she’s been keeping to herself for a VERY long time. It basically involves a tampon and a school sport carnival, so you already get that this expedition, this sojourn, this actual jaunt into Em’s past, has left her describing it as “quite the journey” (sometimes journey truly is the best option, curse you reality TV) anyway there’s twists and turns, Michael almost couldn’t keep listening and wondered if he’d be able to see it through. So maybe you should just make sure you prepare yourself to relive a smidge of high school trauma, but then ultimately, hopefully, you’ll come out the other side feeling better. Good luck everyone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Remember when you used to race to get Dolly magazine the second it came out from the news agency?! First you’d rip the free blue eyeshadow off that was stuck to the cover, briefly pause to have a smell of the new impulse fragrance and then you’d go quickly to the Dolly doctor section! There you’d find questions about nipples, pubes and intimate smells... Well this is kind of the podcast version of that, except not really. Em and Michael are the Dilemma Doctors and they’re here to solve your dilemmas! No dilemma is too big or too small. But maybe let’s keep them petty so we can be funny about it. Enjoy the first instalment of the Dilemma Doctor’s, Em and Michael help a man to figure out how to tell his partner he’s not very good at giving gifts. FUN! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before we start, you might like to secure your tray tables and tighten your seatbelt because Em has issued a warning that this episode is an emotion charged, passionate discussion filled edition of the podcast and you’re gonna need to strap your shit in. To begin with we discuss Ellen’s apology and it’s a full deep dive, we talk ALL of the things from the backlash and her outfit choice, to the way the audience was shown and what we think will happen next. Then it’s onto Dan Andrews and we also briefly touch on hot Auslan’s pants package, although NO TOUCHING, just a teeny touch of discussion in and around it. Obviously we still wanna remain respectful of his valuable and wonderful work and make sure we don’t cross the lines of decency on someone just doing their job. Em then drops her theory around Dan and how she reckons he will definitely replace Albo as the leader of the Labor Party for Federal Government, Em is also obsessed with his wife Catherine. Then hold your breath for another deep, deep dive as they dissect the brand new Paris Hilton documentary, so that’s all of the things that make this a tighten your straps type of episode. In fact, at the time of writing Em wasn’t even sure what her intro would contain, but she assures us it won’t be too much because everything else recorded with Michael was as hefty as the pants of that guy doing Auslan at the press conference, too much? Probably, but I couldn’t resist the rather obvious comparison, oh and we should also add that Em stood up THREE TIMES during the recording, ya huh she actually stood up three times because she got so overwrought. She also had to apologise to everyone at the end of it AND she woke up her children, it was HECTIC. So clutch your figurative pearls and secure all of the straps and enjoy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s reflection time as we begin this podcast, and that doesn’t mean we are looking at ourselves in the mirror, but obviously if we are, then LOOK at how fierce we look. Anyway the type of reflection we’re talking about is the sort that Em needs right now to help inspire her to keep getting out of bed during lockdown. She needs to look for the lessons learnt and the silver linings, it’s just how her brain functions. So we open this podcast with a chat about all the positive things that have come out of being in lockdown, and here’s the hot tip, turns out even Em was pleasantly surprised at how many there actually were. Then Michael joins Em to talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, in particular her amazing marriage to her husband Marty, which actually helped Em to reflect on hers, and how Em and Scott figured out how to stop fighting. Turns out it was surprisingly simple when they finally cottoned onto it. Then it’s onto Miley Cyrus saying she faked it with Liam Henderson, Em and Michael are not about that, their national pride reared up and they get super protective over Liam. Speaking of being protective, they’re also having none of bogans thinking they can use John Farnham’s You’re The Voice for their anti-mask rallies. I think Em expressed it well when she sent me the rundown for this description by simply saying “NOT. OKAY., okay?”. Plus there’s also time to cover off how Em got accidentally day drunk on Rosé on Sunday, doesn’t seem very accidental to me but here we are. The full explain is within this podcast, so grab your headphones and have at it like Em attacks a glass of Rosé, with large gulps and lots of satisfying exhales throughout. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We first heard from Liz on the "Live from the Roadside" episode back in May. Liz sent Em and Scotty a message asking for some help when she went for a promotion. Fast forward to this week and Liz has sent in another message, and let's just say, things are looking up. Good on ya Liz!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Need some advice? In the intro for this episode, Em presents us with the idea of her upcoming advice segment, it’s kind of like that grand tradition of obsessively turning pages to get to the Dolly Doctor section, but without any page turning, or help from whoever the hell Dolly was, or even any Doctors. Basically Em and her bestie Michael are going to take on your dilemmas and offer up a world of thought provoking and thoroughly unique advice. Their speciality is petty stuff, with petty family arguments naturally being their strong suit, so start thinking about what advice you’ve been hankering for and get amongst it, they start doing it from next week. Then it’s onto a documentary update as Em and Michael offer up their latest favourites, with Em choosing something uplifting with ‘My Octopus Teacher’ which is about a burnt out filmmaker who befriends and in a non creepy way kinda falls in love with an octopus and learns some life lessons as a result. Not so uplifting, but equally important, is Michael’s choice of ‘The Social Dilemma’ which is a terrifying deep dive into why social media is basically set up to doom us and usher in the end of the world, thankfully there is some advice on how we can change and avoid that. Then there’s a dick pic wrap up which takes in Chris Evans reaction to his dick pic slip up, and that’s followed up by the story of the ADF Officer who was busted “entertaining” a lady in his hotel room while he’s in quarantine. Obviously Em and Michael don’t condone that sort of behaviour, but they also have to acknowledge that they do love the fact that she’s a 53 year old sassy woman spending quality time with a 26 year old ADF officer. Is this the 365 Days sequel we’ve all been craving, but again, they don’t condone breaches of quarantine, but also again, it’s pretty saucy. So step up to another episode filled with all the kind of eclectic goodness you didn’t even realise your ears were craving.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We got a bunch of feedback from you over the last few days, so we’re using that to start things off in today's episode. Some of you lovely listeners have lamented the loss of Em’s opening monologue, where she normally talks about life, her thoughts and the such and such that's been floating around in her mind. So she addresses that to begin with, there’s also time to address some of Em and Michael’s diet talk from last week, some of you reached out to say they felt there was a bit of fat shaming happening in that convo, naturally Em’s had some time to think about that, and she shares all the conclusions she’s come to around that. So it actually turns out we have a very long opening monologue as a result of all of that, so ask and ye shall receive, although maybe some of you will regret ye asking for the return of the opening monologue...pfft as if. Then Em and Michael do a very extensive deep dive into the Chris Evans, aka Captain America, dick pic saga, where he accidentally leaked a camera roll shot that included something he probably never intended to expose, a fleshy tent pole. Content warning obviously as this proves to be an extensive deep dive, they really take it there, in fact Em is even suggesting that you will probably come out the other side of this conversation with a Bachelor in Dick Pics, I genuinely can’t see what the problem is with that. Then it’s onto the live action remake of the Disney movie ‘Mulan’ (fun fact - when Em says Mulan she can’t do it without sounding like Kath Day Knight, it’s totally adorbs) anyway this movie is super problematic, but Em still loved the strong female lead. Finally there’s just enough time to focus on the adjustments to Victoria’s lockdown tweaks, which now allow single people to choose a bubble buddy that they can spend time with, and how one woman is actually auditioning people to see if they’re worthy of being her bubble buddy. Obviously this podcast is the only bubble buddy you need, so fill the bath, sink below the bubbles and get your listen on at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After Em and Michael decided a new lockdown extension was the perfect time to re-commit to losing the extra weight they’ve added during the first two lockdowns, New Lockdown, New Us was born. So it makes sense for Em and Michael to begin this episode with a full rundown of their health journey so far. That journey got off to a rocky start with Em experiencing a teensy hiccup on night one, where she found herself secretly eating in bed at 11pm. She can totally justify it though, which she naturally does, that leads into a game of Justify My Food (yes Em sings the intro live, and yes it’s Madonna inspired and squeal, I know right, so excited) anyway this game sees Michael offering up various food items, which Em then justifies by offering up the perfect reason for why it’s okay to eat each one, no matter how bad it is for you, trust us, it’s a very special skill. We’ll also talk about Em’s new self appointed title - Queen of the Magpies. She’s convinced she is now one of them, having been accepted into their feathered community. We then move onto the recommendation from the Victorian Deputy Chief Health Officer, Dr Nick Coatsworth that we all make our beds, and maybe try some housework to help us get through the new lockdown extension. Understandably Em had some very strong thoughts to share around that, then inspired by Daniel Andrews talking about sex, and the difference between friends and intimate partners, during a recent press conference, Michael impersonates Dan explaining sex to his son. There’s also time to talk through the announcement that ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians’ is ending after 20 seasons, and how Em has an odd respect for that family. She actually doesn’t judge them as much as you might think she probably would, because naturally Em respects a strong matriarch that’s getting shit done. That being said, she probably wouldn’t sell her childs sex tape...but everything else she gets, they’re husslers, and she can respect that. So once again, it’s a heady mix of all of the things, but we can justify that, so sit down and enjoy another substantial feed of delectable audio delights, with a hefty seasoning of laughs throughout. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Get ready for a very special toddler themed treat to kick things off, because there’s a lovely little performance of Elio’s good morning song at the beginning of this episode. That teensy little adorable munchkin of delight that is Elio just happened to be seated on his mother's lap as we began the show, so we now have the one and only recording of Em’s world famous good morning song for everyone to enjoy, so huzzah to that. That done it’s then onto a surprisingly optimistic chat between Em and Michael about the new lockdown situation in Victoria, they’re feeling that it’s not going to be as long as everyone thinks. They’ve also got the feels for all the beauticians unable to work right now, however their sadness over that situation is also tinged with an element of fear on their behalf. There’s a tsunami of pubic hair that has been allowed to grow and cultivate itself over the last few months, and Em and Michael are worried that most beauticians are totally unaware that their Olympics are just around the corner, and their trophies will end up being overstuffed garbage bags, filled to the brim with unwanted body carpeting. New lockdown extensions have also inspired the ushering in of the new Em and Michael, they’re going to lose the weight that they’ve both put on in the last two lockdowns. So they’re seeing this as their final chance to emerge from their individual cocoons, as beautiful, fit, healthy butterflies. They’ve committed to it, it’s going to happen, so far, so good...but that was what was happening on day one, so who knows where they are right now. There’s also time to reveal how Em was invited to be a part of one particular reality show and why Em ultimately decided to say NO. Hot tip from Em, she laughed A LOT during this episode, there was a lot of laughing, so expect to join in and maybe grab a towel if too much laughing compromises your pelvic floor area, just saying. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, with Em and her hubby Scott celebrating their 20th anniversary during the week, Em and her bestie Michael will deep dive into a chat about long term relationships, covering everything from how they last, to the different attributes of Michaels relationship compared to Em’s relationship. Then it’s on to the new book about Melania Trump written by her ex best friend called ‘Melania and Me - The Rise and Fall of My Friendship with the First Lady’ which naturally leads to the admission that Michael is the one and ONLY person that could write a tell all book about Em. Unfortunately for Michael, because he has LOTS of close friends, they realise he would be screwed on multiple levels if all of his close friends decided to write an exposé on him. Also in a very ‘how dare he, off with his head’ type moment, Michael refers to Em as Trump, saying that she can be very Trump like, I’m shook just writing that, so no doubt this will be a testing moment for their friendship. There’s also a new TV show obsession that’s just casually wandered into Em’s life called ‘The Casketeers’ that follows a New Zealand couple, Francis and Kaiora Tipene, who own and run Tipene Funerals. Em is describing it as “just the greatest show, Francis is the campest straight man on the face of the planet and we have so many things in common, including our love of leaf blowers” so there’s all of that to work through too. In fact ‘The Casketeers’ is such a life affirming show, that it’s completely changed Em’s perspective on death and she’s now no longer afraid of dying because of this show. There’s actually so much television to consume that Michael’s also got two other TV shows that he thinks everyone needs to watch, and they are ‘I May Destroy You’ and ‘I Hate Suzie’. All of that will eventually wrap up once Em decides it’s time to get out of her pyjamas and put on a winged eyeliner as a special treat for her husband. You however are welcome to stay in PJ’s and consume this with or without a winged eyeliner of course. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Let's start by saying that when I got the recorded explainer from Em for this episode, so I could actually write this description for you, I fully got to the end of it, burst out laughing and said out loud to an empty room...WHAT? Which clearly means there's a lot to unpack, but isn’t there always? To begin, just know that within this episode, Em and Michael will tackle topics like death, cultural appropriation and Victorian politics, so already it’s nothing but light and fluffy content kids. We should also flag please don’t @ them with whack comments, as a lot of what Em and Michael do in every episode of this podcast is workshop themselves in front of the microphone. They are in no way here to school anyone, they recognise and are well aware that that’s not their job, this is just their way of work shopping things for themselves out loud. Obviously there’s chat about the passing of Chadwick Boseman, which leads into a talk about how there needs to be more conversations around death by young people, which hopefully could result in all of us living better lives and not sweating the small stuff. There’s also another social post from Adele to work through, every time she posts something it usually stops the world, so that’s no surprise. This time she’s copping it online for cultural appropriation having posted a picture of herself wearing her hair in Bantu knots and a bikini top of the Jamaican flag. They’ll also cover off the State of Emergency that Dan has announced in Victoria and the freak outs that are going on as a result, and they’ll try and explain why it’s all needed, so more out loud workshopping here obviously. Finally they’ll also briefly touch on Brad Pitt’s new girlfriend being in an open marriage, plus there’s Em’s newest obsession, which is a TV show that involves a man, 20 wives and a female bounty hunter. So get ready for another edition of all of that, and so much more, and don’t ever say we didn’t warn you what to expect.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To celebrate fifty whole episodes of Emsolation we’ve put together the top ten moments since the show was birthed in April, as voted by you! Expect Britney, Brett and the Bobbitts to make an appearance and of course our favourite sexy kidnapper will pop his head up too. You won’t feel lost baby girl, after reliving the hilarity and confusion of the first fifty episodes of Emsolation! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Emsolation podcast is celebrating its 50th episode, so huzzah, send us gifts, tell us how young and taut we look, and throw in something about this being the new 30th episode or some such complimentary thing. Together Em and Michael delve into the Republican National Convention, which was ushering Melania Trump up to the microphone as they started recording this episode. So naturally they fully got to witness her entrance, her outfit, and the full catwalk moment she delivered as well. All things considered, it was a pretty gentle speech to be honest, the same couldn’t be said for Donald Trump Junior's girlfriend Kimberley Guilfoyle though. Her speech was a LOT. Kimberley may look like a glamorous beauty pageant contestant, but she’s also fully terrifying as well, mostly because she just yelled at us during the entire speech. Em did admit though that she was impressed with how committed Kimberley was to that role. Sure, what she said was horrible, but the way she presented it was very effective, and she no doubt achieved her goal of appealing to their base. So whilst what she said was horrendous, for anyone saying it wasn’t effective, you just have to look at how we’re all talking about it...job well done it would seem. There’s also a bunch of other whoopsie moments to cover off for the Republican Party, including the poolboy that’s come forward to reveal he’s been having a 7 year long affair with the wife of ultraconservative evangelical leader and prominent Trump supporter, Jerry Falwell Jr. We also talk through Michael’s moral dilemma with his favourite hairdresser, who apparently cuts a mean hairstyle Michael loves, but also might be a Covid denier as well, so now he’s not entirely sure what to do. Plus Em attended a funeral for a magpie, a funeral that she organised because she’s clearly reached her peak Covid emotional state. There’s also a special bonus edition of Emsolation on the way for you to enjoy, featuring the Top Ten moments from the last 50 episodes as chosen by you, so prepare yourself for extra moments of us being extra. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we’ve moved from Em’s patented four phases of bench cleaning, to rooting around in the attic. That’s where Em has stuffed all her previous show wardrobes and just anything else from her life that needed to just be rammed into boxes. Naturally so it can never be acknowledged or addressed ever again. Lockdown life means she decided to tackle all of that and actually stumbled on something that was kinda traumatic. It reminded Em that every time she thinks she’s making progress on herself as a person, she’ll hit a roadblock that makes her think all the other work she’s done before that, doesn’t really count for anything, but really when she’s has a bad day or bad thoughts, it’s just a part of that...journey (vomit we hate that word, thanks reality TV). So yes, Em really did get all of that from the simple act of cleaning out her roof, what of it? Then Em and Michael talk about The Masked Singer being shut-down and how the anger towards that show being filmed during a pandemic is unnecessary. The fact that they both work on or in TV doesn’t mean they’re biased, they promise. Melania Trump has redone the White House Rose Garden, which helped convince Em that Melania isn’t actually a victim or a long suffering wife, but rather the power player in that couple. The Republican National Convention is happening this week too, so Em and Michael are excited. They also talk about the Netflix doco ‘John Was Trying To Contact Aliens’ which is a joyous film of just 16 minutes, perfectly catering to Em’s attention span. You’ll also get an appearance from both Rational Em and Stabby Em, plus there’s a discussion of Em’s version of Dolly World, except her version would mostly be just a really terrifying roller coaster ride to represent her inner monologue. So you pretty much need to be this emotionally tall to get onto this ride or episode, so grab your tickets, join the queue and no pushing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em chats to Rob 'Millsy' Mills in this weeks edition of Emsolation Conversation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some hard truths to begin with, we aren’t even getting out of bed for this podcast, it’s cold, Em is comfy, so nestle in because it’s happening. In fact, you should probably just get back into bed when you listen to this episode, you know you wanna. Once you’ve settled in and all of your must needs are within reach, we can begin. We start with Em’s very important four stages of fully patented bench cleaning techniques, because quite frankly no one around her house is taking the cleaning of the benches seriously. Yes there are four phases, and yes Em is more than happy to VERY distinctly and vividly outlay all of those details for you, mostly because she’s been doing a LOT of bench cleaning lately, and has had a lot of time to think. Then Em and Michael assume full US Political nerd mode, so they can discuss Michelle Obama’s speech and Trump's response to it. They are also both unashamedly obsessed with the First Lady of Joe Biden, the incredible Dr Jill Biden, and the First Gentleman of Kamala Harris, Douglas Emhoff who’s a massive nerd. That naturally leads to a discussion around who’s husband would do better in the role of First Gentleman if Em or Michael were to go all Presidential. There’s also time to touch on Joe Biden’s very important chat with Cardi B and finally that’s followed by Em going into complete meltdown about Tik Tok, and doing a vocal representation of a Tik Tok dance. It’s something she’s now describing as “not her proudest moment” and she would also like to issue an apology to any Gen Z listeners, because they may feel personally attacked, Em felt personally attacked whilst she was actually doing it. But it’s all because Kanye has demanded we need Jesus Tok, not Tik Tok and it would seem Em has found herself agreeing with him, so perhaps being in bed for this episode is a good idea. At least that way we can pull the sheets up over our heads and listen in peace. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forget tears before bedtime, the new normal is tears before a podcast recording. Regular listeners will know that often this podcast is a reflection of Em’s headspace, hence this episode has proved to be all over the place, so expect an explain first up on why Em’s eye sockets were stained with tears. Then it’s on to how Em has suddenly found herself being reduced to watching shows ONLY about either cooking or wealthy housewives. On top of that revelation, is the fact that somehow, instead of judging the rich housewives, Em has now found herself sympathising with the stories and problems affecting these cashed up ladies. Michael has watched a really beautiful and lovely Australian film called ‘Baby Teeth’ which he’s describing as worthy of everyone giving it a viewing. Obviously Em is refusing that advice, because, well it’s not about cooking or rich ladies, and also she knows she can’t bring herself to watch it because it’s sad. Then it’s on to Delta Goodrem and how Em has always felt protective of her, and how she’s recently revealed the struggles she’s endured over the last year, having not been able to speak because of nerve damage to her mouth during some routine surgery. This understandably ushered in more tears for Em as she watched Delta recounting that story and revealing her resilience. Somehow they then move on to Miley Cyrus revealing she lost her virginity to Liam Hemsworth, which then spiralled into how Em and Michael both lost theirs and how Michael lied about being a virgin. That rolls into the surge in arguments during lockdown and how Michael is a freak who so far hasn’t even had one argument. We follow that up with a chat on the F word that is commonly used as an abusive term for homosexuals. Em hasn’t used it for years and feels that it’s not okay to use anymore, even when used in front of the word hag, Michael doesn’t think it's a problem. So as you can plainly see, there’s A LOT to be covered within, but what else would you expect from a podcast that always takes you on a rollercoaster of all of the emotions and one amazing revelation and reveal after another, exactly, so enjoy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To mark the 10 year anniversary of the first episode of Offspring, Em & Michael chat with Asher Keddie aka Dr. Nina Proudman, to reflect on the show. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First up, Em’s been reminded of the importance of reaching out and touching base with the people in your life and doing more than just sharing an RUOK hashtag. After seeing a video from a farmer who posted a deeply heartfelt message about a mate he’d recently lost, it’s been a timely reminder that it’s now more important than ever, for all of us to actually do the work, and check in with the people we care about. Then Em and Michael move on to the announcement of Kamala Harris running as the Democratic candidate for Vice President with Joe Biden. There’s also those four new cases discovered in New Zealand to talk about, they proved enough for Jacinda Ardern to move Auckland into Stage 3 restrictions for 3 days as a precautionary approach. Plus we briefly touch on the forthcoming Meghan and Harry book, and give you the lowdown on a new podcast Em and Michael have discovered. One episode in particular titled ‘Curveball’ sees them chatting to three women anonymously in their 40’s and 50’s, who after leaving long term marriages, figured things were pretty much over for them. Turns out that couldn’t have been further from the truth, cut to them now having these sexual rebirths, where they’re discovering this whole new arena of sexual enlightenment. So as you’d expect, this is another episode of Emsolation that goes just about everywhere. So once you’ve fully sanitised your hands, please grab our virtual audio hand, and allow us to lead you through the virtual forest of podcast goodness, we promise we know the way and there’s no need to leave bread crumbs behind to find your way out, okay this tangent might not be necessary, but meh, it’s there now, so enjoy. Link to the podcast discussed by Em & Michael: https://www.curveballmedia.com.au/podcast/episode/4975e391/mid-life-sexual-awakening See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can I get a CONTENT WARNING? You sure can, and you seriously need one if you’re going to listen to this around little ears, unless you like having some really interesting conversations. Okay that done, let's move on. Now if you think you’re ready for Em’s Favourite Episode EVER, you ain’t even close to being ready, trust us. This episode we talk about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s new song W.A.P., which doesn’t stand for Wonderful And Polite. It actually stands for Wet Ass...um...Mrs. Slocombe’s cat, which will only make sense if you’ve stumbled on an episode of “Are You Being Served?” and if you haven’t, lets just say Mrs. Slocombe never called her cat, a cat. We’ll also cover off the late night tweeting from Victorian Health Minister, Jenny Mikakos on Saturday night. We suspect it was done after a few vinos, she was basically apologising for the state of play in Victoria, we felt her, let’s face it, we’ve all been there. We talk about the current facial hair situation happening on the face of Brett Sutton, and also how Michael is back on the Daniel Andrews train, Em however is reserving her judgement right now. We also get a brief mention happening over vulva beauty masks. So there is a LOT of lady area talk, which is nothing new really, but again, a little content warning for anyone listening. But ardent fans of the Emsolation podcast will not be surprised, nor will they bat a no doubt superbly manicured eyebrow about it either. So check your surrounds, and once you’re sure all the ears within listening range are prepped and prepared, enjoy another walk through the Emsolation forest, and that ISN’T a euphemism, but the Mrs. Slocombe reference most certainly is See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a semi-famous Simpsons character once said “Won’t somebody please think of the children'' and whilst it had zilch to do with inspiring Em, it’s also what she’s been thinking about lately. Em reckons it’s time we acknowledged all of the kids that are going through Covid lockdown and isolation, by giving them some props for being super resilient, tough and rolling with the punches. We’re encouraging you to reach out to the kid in your life, whether they be your own kids, or your nephews, nieces or grandchildren, and maybe try and do something special or out of the blue for them. Then Em and Michael work through our complicated relationship with Daniel Andrews, delving into how we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, especially with the hotel enquiry looking so grim. They’ll also touch on the amazing Trump interview that Aussie journalist Jonathon Swan has just done, he’s the son of Norman Swan who does Coronacast. Anyway it’s safe to say Jonathon’s facial expressions throughout that interview gave us all of the feels. Plus we talk about the most wholesome doco Em has ever watched, it's about competitive Rubic Cubing and features the beautiful friendship between the two world champions that’s guaranteed to melt your heart. There’s also a book recommendation for you and finally, because everything Em does that’s been successful, has happened because people like you get on board and help her out by sharing her work, she’s issuing a challenge with an Emsolation recommendation day, where you tag us on social media. So get your hashtags ready and dive in to another comfort inducing episode now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For her intro, with stage 4 lockdown conditions kicking in for Melbourne, Em reckons it’s time to acknowledge we’ve moved beyond ‘stay positive’ and into ‘it’s really hard right now’ territory. So we don’t have to feel like we have to solve it all now, it’s all about taking baby steps. You’ll also get Em and Michael’s reactions to all the different stages of the new lockdown rules, from Em not caring about curfew because she’s in bed by 8pm most nights anyway, Chella, not so much, to Michael having to manage his jealousy and looking away from the social shares of other states. Then, naturally, it’s on to a LOT of Beyonce chat, inspired by the release of her new visual album ‘Black is King - A Film by Beyonce’ on Friday. There’s so much to be worked through, the vibe, the overall feeling, the moments that made them both cry, how great it is, and how Beyonce just knew she should drop this gift to the world during our greatest moment of need. Em and Michael actually watched it simultaneously together on Friday night via SMS, with running commentary and reactions going back and forward between them both. The main takeout was basically just the sheer amount of costumes, which was actually MIND. BLOWING. So grab your headphones, or turn up your smart speaker, and get a stack of Beyonce loving excitement into your ears, with a delicate sprinkling of meh to the latest lockdown rejig for Victorians. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em & Michael are back again answering YOUR questions in this bonus episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.