Let's start by saying that when I got the recorded explainer from Em for this episode, so I could actually write this description for you, I fully got to the end of it, burst out laughing and said out loud to an empty room...WHAT? Which clearly means there's a lot to unpack, but isn’t there always? To begin, just know that within this episode, Em and Michael will tackle topics like death, cultural appropriation and Victorian politics, so already it’s nothing but light and fluffy content kids. We should also flag please don’t @ them with whack comments, as a lot of what Em and Michael do in every episode of this podcast is workshop themselves in front of the microphone. They are in no way here to school anyone, they recognise and are well aware that that’s not their job, this is just their way of work shopping things for themselves out loud. Obviously there’s chat about the passing of Chadwick Boseman, which leads into a talk about how there needs to be more conversations around death by young people, which hopefully could result in all of us living better lives and not sweating the small stuff. There’s also another social post from Adele to work through, every time she posts something it usually stops the world, so that’s no surprise. This time she’s copping it online for cultural appropriation having posted a picture of herself wearing her hair in Bantu knots and a bikini top of the Jamaican flag. They’ll also cover off the State of Emergency that Dan has announced in Victoria and the freak outs that are going on as a result, and they’ll try and explain why it’s all needed, so more out loud workshopping here obviously. Finally they’ll also briefly touch on Brad Pitt’s new girlfriend being in an open marriage, plus there’s Em’s newest obsession, which is a TV show that involves a man, 20 wives and a female bounty hunter. So get ready for another edition of all of that, and so much more, and don’t ever say we didn’t warn you what to expect.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To celebrate fifty whole episodes of Emsolation we’ve put together the top ten moments since the show was birthed in April, as voted by you! Expect Britney, Brett and the Bobbitts to make an appearance and of course our favourite sexy kidnapper will pop his head up too. You won’t feel lost baby girl, after reliving the hilarity and confusion of the first fifty episodes of Emsolation! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The Emsolation podcast is celebrating its 50th episode, so huzzah, send us gifts, tell us how young and taut we look, and throw in something about this being the new 30th episode or some such complimentary thing. Together Em and Michael delve into the Republican National Convention, which was ushering Melania Trump up to the microphone as they started recording this episode. So naturally they fully got to witness her entrance, her outfit, and the full catwalk moment she delivered as well. All things considered, it was a pretty gentle speech to be honest, the same couldn’t be said for Donald Trump Junior's girlfriend Kimberley Guilfoyle though. Her speech was a LOT. Kimberley may look like a glamorous beauty pageant contestant, but she’s also fully terrifying as well, mostly because she just yelled at us during the entire speech. Em did admit though that she was impressed with how committed Kimberley was to that role. Sure, what she said was horrible, but the way she presented it was very effective, and she no doubt achieved her goal of appealing to their base. So whilst what she said was horrendous, for anyone saying it wasn’t effective, you just have to look at how we’re all talking about it...job well done it would seem. There’s also a bunch of other whoopsie moments to cover off for the Republican Party, including the poolboy that’s come forward to reveal he’s been having a 7 year long affair with the wife of ultraconservative evangelical leader and prominent Trump supporter, Jerry Falwell Jr. We also talk through Michael’s moral dilemma with his favourite hairdresser, who apparently cuts a mean hairstyle Michael loves, but also might be a Covid denier as well, so now he’s not entirely sure what to do. Plus Em attended a funeral for a magpie, a funeral that she organised because she’s clearly reached her peak Covid emotional state. There’s also a special bonus edition of Emsolation on the way for you to enjoy, featuring the Top Ten moments from the last 50 episodes as chosen by you, so prepare yourself for extra moments of us being extra. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week we’ve moved from Em’s patented four phases of bench cleaning, to rooting around in the attic. That’s where Em has stuffed all her previous show wardrobes and just anything else from her life that needed to just be rammed into boxes. Naturally so it can never be acknowledged or addressed ever again. Lockdown life means she decided to tackle all of that and actually stumbled on something that was kinda traumatic. It reminded Em that every time she thinks she’s making progress on herself as a person, she’ll hit a roadblock that makes her think all the other work she’s done before that, doesn’t really count for anything, but really when she’s has a bad day or bad thoughts, it’s just a part of that...journey (vomit we hate that word, thanks reality TV). So yes, Em really did get all of that from the simple act of cleaning out her roof, what of it? Then Em and Michael talk about The Masked Singer being shut-down and how the anger towards that show being filmed during a pandemic is unnecessary. The fact that they both work on or in TV doesn’t mean they’re biased, they promise. Melania Trump has redone the White House Rose Garden, which helped convince Em that Melania isn’t actually a victim or a long suffering wife, but rather the power player in that couple. The Republican National Convention is happening this week too, so Em and Michael are excited. They also talk about the Netflix doco ‘John Was Trying To Contact Aliens’ which is a joyous film of just 16 minutes, perfectly catering to Em’s attention span. You’ll also get an appearance from both Rational Em and Stabby Em, plus there’s a discussion of Em’s version of Dolly World, except her version would mostly be just a really terrifying roller coaster ride to represent her inner monologue. So you pretty much need to be this emotionally tall to get onto this ride or episode, so grab your tickets, join the queue and no pushing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em chats to Rob 'Millsy' Mills in this weeks edition of Emsolation Conversation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some hard truths to begin with, we aren’t even getting out of bed for this podcast, it’s cold, Em is comfy, so nestle in because it’s happening. In fact, you should probably just get back into bed when you listen to this episode, you know you wanna. Once you’ve settled in and all of your must needs are within reach, we can begin. We start with Em’s very important four stages of fully patented bench cleaning techniques, because quite frankly no one around her house is taking the cleaning of the benches seriously. Yes there are four phases, and yes Em is more than happy to VERY distinctly and vividly outlay all of those details for you, mostly because she’s been doing a LOT of bench cleaning lately, and has had a lot of time to think. Then Em and Michael assume full US Political nerd mode, so they can discuss Michelle Obama’s speech and Trump's response to it. They are also both unashamedly obsessed with the First Lady of Joe Biden, the incredible Dr Jill Biden, and the First Gentleman of Kamala Harris, Douglas Emhoff who’s a massive nerd. That naturally leads to a discussion around who’s husband would do better in the role of First Gentleman if Em or Michael were to go all Presidential. There’s also time to touch on Joe Biden’s very important chat with Cardi B and finally that’s followed by Em going into complete meltdown about Tik Tok, and doing a vocal representation of a Tik Tok dance. It’s something she’s now describing as “not her proudest moment” and she would also like to issue an apology to any Gen Z listeners, because they may feel personally attacked, Em felt personally attacked whilst she was actually doing it. But it’s all because Kanye has demanded we need Jesus Tok, not Tik Tok and it would seem Em has found herself agreeing with him, so perhaps being in bed for this episode is a good idea. At least that way we can pull the sheets up over our heads and listen in peace. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Forget tears before bedtime, the new normal is tears before a podcast recording. Regular listeners will know that often this podcast is a reflection of Em’s headspace, hence this episode has proved to be all over the place, so expect an explain first up on why Em’s eye sockets were stained with tears. Then it’s on to how Em has suddenly found herself being reduced to watching shows ONLY about either cooking or wealthy housewives. On top of that revelation, is the fact that somehow, instead of judging the rich housewives, Em has now found herself sympathising with the stories and problems affecting these cashed up ladies. Michael has watched a really beautiful and lovely Australian film called ‘Baby Teeth’ which he’s describing as worthy of everyone giving it a viewing. Obviously Em is refusing that advice, because, well it’s not about cooking or rich ladies, and also she knows she can’t bring herself to watch it because it’s sad. Then it’s on to Delta Goodrem and how Em has always felt protective of her, and how she’s recently revealed the struggles she’s endured over the last year, having not been able to speak because of nerve damage to her mouth during some routine surgery. This understandably ushered in more tears for Em as she watched Delta recounting that story and revealing her resilience. Somehow they then move on to Miley Cyrus revealing she lost her virginity to Liam Hemsworth, which then spiralled into how Em and Michael both lost theirs and how Michael lied about being a virgin. That rolls into the surge in arguments during lockdown and how Michael is a freak who so far hasn’t even had one argument. We follow that up with a chat on the F word that is commonly used as an abusive term for homosexuals. Em hasn’t used it for years and feels that it’s not okay to use anymore, even when used in front of the word hag, Michael doesn’t think it's a problem. So as you can plainly see, there’s A LOT to be covered within, but what else would you expect from a podcast that always takes you on a rollercoaster of all of the emotions and one amazing revelation and reveal after another, exactly, so enjoy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To mark the 10 year anniversary of the first episode of Offspring, Em & Michael chat with Asher Keddie aka Dr. Nina Proudman, to reflect on the show. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First up, Em’s been reminded of the importance of reaching out and touching base with the people in your life and doing more than just sharing an RUOK hashtag. After seeing a video from a farmer who posted a deeply heartfelt message about a mate he’d recently lost, it’s been a timely reminder that it’s now more important than ever, for all of us to actually do the work, and check in with the people we care about. Then Em and Michael move on to the announcement of Kamala Harris running as the Democratic candidate for Vice President with Joe Biden. There’s also those four new cases discovered in New Zealand to talk about, they proved enough for Jacinda Ardern to move Auckland into Stage 3 restrictions for 3 days as a precautionary approach. Plus we briefly touch on the forthcoming Meghan and Harry book, and give you the lowdown on a new podcast Em and Michael have discovered. One episode in particular titled ‘Curveball’ sees them chatting to three women anonymously in their 40’s and 50’s, who after leaving long term marriages, figured things were pretty much over for them. Turns out that couldn’t have been further from the truth, cut to them now having these sexual rebirths, where they’re discovering this whole new arena of sexual enlightenment. So as you’d expect, this is another episode of Emsolation that goes just about everywhere. So once you’ve fully sanitised your hands, please grab our virtual audio hand, and allow us to lead you through the virtual forest of podcast goodness, we promise we know the way and there’s no need to leave bread crumbs behind to find your way out, okay this tangent might not be necessary, but meh, it’s there now, so enjoy. Link to the podcast discussed by Em & Michael: https://www.curveballmedia.com.au/podcast/episode/4975e391/mid-life-sexual-awakening See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can I get a CONTENT WARNING? You sure can, and you seriously need one if you’re going to listen to this around little ears, unless you like having some really interesting conversations. Okay that done, let's move on. Now if you think you’re ready for Em’s Favourite Episode EVER, you ain’t even close to being ready, trust us. This episode we talk about Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion’s new song W.A.P., which doesn’t stand for Wonderful And Polite. It actually stands for Wet Ass...um...Mrs. Slocombe’s cat, which will only make sense if you’ve stumbled on an episode of “Are You Being Served?” and if you haven’t, lets just say Mrs. Slocombe never called her cat, a cat. We’ll also cover off the late night tweeting from Victorian Health Minister, Jenny Mikakos on Saturday night. We suspect it was done after a few vinos, she was basically apologising for the state of play in Victoria, we felt her, let’s face it, we’ve all been there. We talk about the current facial hair situation happening on the face of Brett Sutton, and also how Michael is back on the Daniel Andrews train, Em however is reserving her judgement right now. We also get a brief mention happening over vulva beauty masks. So there is a LOT of lady area talk, which is nothing new really, but again, a little content warning for anyone listening. But ardent fans of the Emsolation podcast will not be surprised, nor will they bat a no doubt superbly manicured eyebrow about it either. So check your surrounds, and once you’re sure all the ears within listening range are prepped and prepared, enjoy another walk through the Emsolation forest, and that ISN’T a euphemism, but the Mrs. Slocombe reference most certainly is See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a semi-famous Simpsons character once said “Won’t somebody please think of the children'' and whilst it had zilch to do with inspiring Em, it’s also what she’s been thinking about lately. Em reckons it’s time we acknowledged all of the kids that are going through Covid lockdown and isolation, by giving them some props for being super resilient, tough and rolling with the punches. We’re encouraging you to reach out to the kid in your life, whether they be your own kids, or your nephews, nieces or grandchildren, and maybe try and do something special or out of the blue for them. Then Em and Michael work through our complicated relationship with Daniel Andrews, delving into how we don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, especially with the hotel enquiry looking so grim. They’ll also touch on the amazing Trump interview that Aussie journalist Jonathon Swan has just done, he’s the son of Norman Swan who does Coronacast. Anyway it’s safe to say Jonathon’s facial expressions throughout that interview gave us all of the feels. Plus we talk about the most wholesome doco Em has ever watched, it's about competitive Rubic Cubing and features the beautiful friendship between the two world champions that’s guaranteed to melt your heart. There’s also a book recommendation for you and finally, because everything Em does that’s been successful, has happened because people like you get on board and help her out by sharing her work, she’s issuing a challenge with an Emsolation recommendation day, where you tag us on social media. So get your hashtags ready and dive in to another comfort inducing episode now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For her intro, with stage 4 lockdown conditions kicking in for Melbourne, Em reckons it’s time to acknowledge we’ve moved beyond ‘stay positive’ and into ‘it’s really hard right now’ territory. So we don’t have to feel like we have to solve it all now, it’s all about taking baby steps. You’ll also get Em and Michael’s reactions to all the different stages of the new lockdown rules, from Em not caring about curfew because she’s in bed by 8pm most nights anyway, Chella, not so much, to Michael having to manage his jealousy and looking away from the social shares of other states. Then, naturally, it’s on to a LOT of Beyonce chat, inspired by the release of her new visual album ‘Black is King - A Film by Beyonce’ on Friday. There’s so much to be worked through, the vibe, the overall feeling, the moments that made them both cry, how great it is, and how Beyonce just knew she should drop this gift to the world during our greatest moment of need. Em and Michael actually watched it simultaneously together on Friday night via SMS, with running commentary and reactions going back and forward between them both. The main takeout was basically just the sheer amount of costumes, which was actually MIND. BLOWING. So grab your headphones, or turn up your smart speaker, and get a stack of Beyonce loving excitement into your ears, with a delicate sprinkling of meh to the latest lockdown rejig for Victorians. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em & Michael are back again answering YOUR questions in this bonus episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We start this episode with a cameo from a quite cranky Elio, apparently Em’s introduction wasn’t up to a toddler's expectations, so the rest of us should be totally fine...phew. Then Michael returns to help Em work through Melbourne’s thirst for their Chief Health Minister, Professor Brett Sutton. His TV appearances as Victorians battle against COVID-19 have clearly been enough to inspire some light sexual objectification, so much so that he’s now the subject of erotic fan fiction on Twitter. From there it's only natural to work our way through the latest Emmy nominations, with a delicate sprinkling of outrage over ‘365 Days’ missing out on getting any noms. It had drone sex on a yacht people, like what is actually going on? Fingers are now furiously being crossed that it doesn’t actually need an Emmy anyway, because it will get Oscar nominations instead...seems likely. We also delve in to the black and white photo challenge that's flooding your social feeds right now. It would seem the original intent behind the sharing of black and white photos came from a really sad place, so we’ll fill you in on that shocking story and also touch on the backlash over the backlash. Seems it’s just another moment where people thought they were doing something nice, but hadn’t actually bothered to do the research behind it, story of the internet’s life...am I right? So unless you’re a stroppy toddler, we’d strongly recommend you put this episode in your listening holes posthaste, which means with the greatest possible speed or promptness, job done. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay to start things off we’ve got a new obsession...but it’s a double edged sword, so it’s basically got this beautifully decorated handle, but the blade is a bit tarnished and kinda problematic. It’s called ‘Indian Matchmaking’ and it’s the latest go to obsession for Em and Michael on Netflix. They love it, but there’s quite a few issues surrounding it as well, like how they go about arranging the marriages, which has left them feeling a bit yuck about it too. Then it's on to the rise of the term “Karen” and how that name has suddenly become the label of choice for women who engage in public meltdowns, like the lady at Bunnings we all witnessed on social media across the weekend (who also casually swung by Australia Post to unleash more of her anti mask wearing attitude to the poor staff there as well). It’s left Em and Michael asking if there is a male equivalent for guys who engage in that type of behaviour, and if not, then there probably should be. Finally it’s on to the mood capturing vibe of Taylor Swift’s new album ‘Folklore’. Having consumed all of it’s audio treats, we’re left feeling that Tay Tay has really grown up and is now fully embracing the woman she is, but we’re also totally here for her balancing that zen like vibe by just slipping in a Kanye/Kim diss track as well. So plug your headphones in, or airplay the shiz out of it on the biggest speakers in your house, and enjoy another bountiful episode of Emsolation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Lockdown means most of us have access to your own fridge and pantry all the livelong day, so it's feasible that you could easily sit down in front of it and inhale all of the things whilst gently sobbing about the situation we are currently in, or maybe you’re just double checking the light is still working inside. Regardless, the worst thing you can do right now is step on a set of scales and check your body weight...which is where we find Em right now. It was a disaster, so that’s where we start things in this episode, then Michael returns to help Em work through the uproar about A-list celebrities being allowed to quarantine in their mansions, rather than in a budget hotel. Prepare yourself for a very surprising and very strong opinion from Em on that information, then we’ll dive straight into Em bingeing even more Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Seems you can clean a bathroom and consume an unsettling amount of reality TV drama in 5 hours. Michael has also finally wrapped up filming on the set of Five Bedrooms, it got down to the wire, but they managed to get it all in the can before lockdown returned. At the moment TV commercials are enough to reduce Em to tears, so TV isn’t a safe space anymore, and we’re also convinced that the Russians are monitoring our text messages, so if Em or Michael go missing, look to the Russians. Aside from that, everything is peachy, so shut the fridge door and get your listen on at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hot on the heels of our extra special, tear soaked, kilt wearing, codpiece filled, Masterchef mini-pod, we’re back to give you our take on last night's finale between Emelia and Laura. It was a lady lead cook off on an epic scale and having Jock flaunting his knees in high socks and a kilt, just helped to turn the heat up for Em and Michael. That’s not the only eye candy we plan on covering off either, who knew there was so much sauciness to be had from witnessing Hollywood actor and Superman star Henry Cavill just casually building a PC in a singlet. Honestly watching him delicately insert parts, into other equally delicate parts, using his big manly fingers, whilst rocking an iso-beard and showing off the occasional chunky bicep, or that butt of his that just won’t quit, was the gift none of us knew we needed. There’s also time to get around the news of Princess Beatrice’s recent secret Royal wedding. As you’d expect, Em’s interest level and care factor was probably sitting at about 10, Michael’s...not so much. Obviously some of this podcast needed to be recorded after the Masterchef winners had been announced, so expect a different level of intoxication within and maybe a smidge more ‘motional moments from both Em and Michael. Oh and if you HAVEN’T witnessed Henry Cavill getting sexy with those aforementioned computer parts, need we say more? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em and Michael discuss Reynold’s emotional exit from The Masterchef kitchen and THAT photo. Hint: It involves a kilt. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em chats with author, presenter and political commentator Jamila Rizvi. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In ye olde days, conspiracy theories were usually only encountered when a relative or friend had one too many cordials at a gathering and decided to open a can of “what the hell are they talking about?” for anyone that would listen. Once the internet and mass media arrived, the truth became totes boring, and conspiracy theories were suddenly where it was at. Some people are mad for them, diving head-first into the drama and lapping it up, whilst others are a little more cautious and likely to poo poo them entirely. So when Em, and her bestie Michael, sat down to do a conspiracy theory deep dive, who do you think was all about them, and who do you think was a little harder to convince? If you picked Em for the perfectly executed Greg Louganis style dive into conspiracy theory waters, while Michael looks away in horror from the side of the Olympic sized Conspiracy pool, then you were a hungie percent on point. Em woke up to a claim that Britney’s eyelashes had been styled in a recent photo to say the words ‘call...or fax (we can’t work out which one it was) 911’, which obviously ushered in a huge chat about the #FreeBritney movement. That then opened the door for some of Em’s more wilder conspiracy theories, which has always kind of scared Michael, because Em is an easy convince for almost all of them. We touch on Callum leaving the Masterchef kitchen and how sad we were to see the gentle giant depart. Our hot tip is Emelia for the win, but we did see, love and appreciate Laura’s mid season makeover. So for that and probs about 90 percent conspiracy theory content, ranging from man on the moon, to is Solange Beyonce’s daughter, please get this episode in your ears at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay, so you remember that podcast we did earlier (for those who like to check the receipts, it was Episode Number 21) where it was all about getting your eye holes in front of Netflix’s saucy little Polish/Italian kidnap thriller called “365 Days/DNI”? Remember how it was froth out central, and how we couldn’t get enough of that long tall drink of “YES THE HELL PLEASE” called Massimo Torricelli? Well he sent a personal message to Em. You read that right. MASSIMO. TORRICELLI. SENT. EMELIA. A. PERSONAL. MESSAGE. That is hungie percent an actual fact. However, Em knew nothing about it and Michael decided to sit on this information until they had spent roughly forty minutes being responsible podcast broadcasters. There they were doing a deep dive into the world of cancel culture, trying to thoughtfully deconstruct it...as you do. Then they touched on the departure of Reece from Masterchef and how the soul of the show now feels like it has left the building. They also talked about Jock’s worry beads...his worry beads for crying out loud. Through all of that, Michael just casually sat there, holding out on this huge reveal until Em was basically ready to usher him out of there with a cheery bye bye, and THAT is when he decided to deliver his sexy bombshell. To say Em lost her mind is an understatement. In fact, why are you even here still reading this? Please assume the position that best suits you for maximum podcast enjoyment and have at it NOW See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To celebrate a milestone half a million downloads of Emsolation, Em & Michael are together answering YOUR questions in this special bonus episode! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Thanks to rising Covid-19 cases in the state of Victoria, we’ve suddenly taken on the role of that kid in the playground with the gigantic snot bubble that expands and contracts on every breath, and all the other states are playing the kids that are doing everything they can to get the hell out of our way. So whilst it's exhausting to endure another six weeks of lockdown, it’s a short term pain, for a long term gain. Hence Operation Distraction is underway, with Em deciding to pass the time by consuming as much really trashy Reality TV as possible. In her search for something really removed from her own life, she picked the very first season of ‘The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ as a starting point, and now she’s fully obsessed with Lisa Vanderpump. She’s also become obsessed with a show called ‘Say I Do’ which is like ‘Queer Eye’ for surprise weddings, it’s fully like someone read Em’s dream diary and turned it into a TV show. She totally ugly cried through the first two episodes, but it’s also working in distracting her from what’s going on. Michael returns to give us the rundown on how they’re desperately trying to finish the filming of his TV show ‘Five Bedrooms’. Em reveals she’s had to stop her 18 year old from going away with her friends because of the lockdown and of course there’s the wonderful weirdness that is Britney’s new brand of beach yoga and how they’re totally down for it. There’s also an update on the results of Em’s vaginal probe, and Michael drops a mini bombshell by revealing he had an MRI, and didn’t even tell Em about it. Plus Scott returns to help out listener Meg, who wanted to know how not to let her work define her, as she searches for a better balance in her life. So if you’re ready to lean into Distraction Town, get your headphones on, find a comfy spot, and hit play on this episode as soon as you possibly can. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay so imagine you’re trying to record a podcast whilst ALSO wrangling an 18 month old, having a broken heart because Poh was eliminated from Masterchef, you’re also unsure if you really wanna talk about a controversial former fish and chip shop owner spreading more lies and hate, PLUS you’ve also gotta go and get all your lady bits checked once you’re done, and all you can think of is all that nasty probing awaiting you. So the recording of this episode of Emsolation has left Em slightly frazzled and worried that “the intro is a shemozzle” but hey, she had to leave it there to go to the doctors, so we figure you’ll understand. Em’s heartbreak over Poh leaving Masterchef is shared with Michael, so they’ll work through that together. Then it’s onto Em revealing she actually likes Andy as a person, but she’s basically treating him like we treat an AFL footy umpire when it comes to her critiques of him. Understandably Em is all about people discovering new ways to express themselves, so she’s completely at peace with Andy’s fashion choices, however, his choice to team linen culottes with a rather obvious lack of socks, does require discussion. There’s also an in depth conversation about the backlash and problems around loving a musical that has rather problematic references and omissions like Hamilton. Em and Michael are big fans of Hamilton, but they’re also worried about how cancel culture doesn’t allow for nuanced discussion and feel that it’s okay to love something like Hamilton, as long as you’re willing to acknowledge it does make mistakes, and the history it is reflecting, is complicated and deserves further discussion. Something that requires a little less focus and discussion is checking in on Britney, hence why they only devote 30 seconds to that, as for Kanye West announcing he’s going to run for President of the United States in 2020, that might take a smidge longer. We can also report that there is zero jizz chat in this episode, so that’s either a win, or a hideous oversight, you can decide for yourself whilst pumping all of the above into your ear holes at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode comes with a warning...in that it’s the longest one so far, so there’s probs a whiff of us ‘getting up ourselves’ within, but whatever because Em got a message from a 19 year old girl saying there’s a few of them who are fans and they also called her a COOL. MUM. (caps and full stops totally necessary). So the intro is directed at teenagers because Em is buzzed about getting her claws into the next generation of women. She gives them the rundown on what it was like to be raised by 80’s parents, they’re the Boomers that messed us all up, thereby helping to create the Tiger Mums and Dads we have now that are hands on, in your face and all up in your grill. Then it’s on to the lessons Em learnt later in life, that she wants to pass on early to her girls. To quote Em “it’s basically just a long arse intro, where I try and....make teenagers like me”, followed by a very hearty laugh. Then Michael returns to help work through more of Britney’s instagram efforts, is she unravelling or blooming? They can’t work it out, and it’s riveting, and worrying, and all of the other things. Next it’s on to Reynold from Masterchef’s hickey, could he be the next Bachelor, and how do you do the Bachelor if you can’t exchange bodily fluids in a spa? There’s also zero room in Em’s life for any more celebrities being sad about the Logies not being on, even though Michael is totes missing it, which leads to award show chat, then there’s more love for Hamilton the musicals arrival on friday, Michael and Em are of course having a themed viewing party, would you expect anything less?! Then Scott returns (hot tip, if Scott isn’t on you can safely assume they’ve had a fight that week) to help you overcome fears of rejection when applying for jobs, and there’s a great podcast recommendation from Em that features inspiring conversations with Indigenous role models, it’s by Marley Silver and it’s called Always Was, Always Will Be Our Stories. So find your perfect place to plug in, press play and get your Emsolation top up now. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.