So you know that idiom about not stirring up a hornet’s nest? Well this episode of Emsolation has so much content that could be reflected by that little saying...and then some. In fact we’re not just stirring it up, we are whacking it with a bat, then kicking it along the ground, maybe setting it on fire, then we are calling in the army to bomb the bejesus out of it too. So grab your beverage of choice, take a deep breath and adopt the pose of a pest controller with their flamethrower set to incinerate, because we got some talking to do. The first thing we wanna add to the extinct list is the Government’s attempt at a consent video using milkshakes and tacos and getting pizza. It was so bad that when we asked the simple question “what do you wanna hear on the pod this week” via the Emsolation Instagram stories (are you following Emsolation on Instagram? You totes should) the replies referred to that bin fire that was the Milkshake consent video soooo much, that it was kind of like the cyber equivalent of one of those Aussie outback mouse plagues, so naturally we will start things off with that. Apologies to anyone who is now creeped out by thoughts of a gazillion mice pouring out of every nook and cranny, let’s move on….or do we not want to move on because we also have to cover off this next item. Em and Michael are also going to gently dip their toes into the Bluey backlash that exploded on Facebook after Em added her thoughts to the “we love Bluey but how good would it be if it was a smidge more inclusive” suggestion. Their toes dip gently as we begin, but by the end they are jumping around in the water and splashing it about and having an awesome time, promise. Finally, even though Em spent the last episode of this podcast talking up how much she wanted to witness the funeral for Prince Phillip, she actually hardly watched any of it. However, as you will bear witness, just because Em didn’t see each and every moment of the Royal funeral, doesn’t mean she isn’t more than capable of filling in the gaps. In fact, she will fill in so many gaps that you would need a microscope to see how fine her gap filling skills are, she even manages to conjure up scenarios you didn’t even think were humanly possible to conjure up. Yes it is true that Em may have had a teensy stroke while navigating all of the scenario conjuring, but it's hilarious nonetheless and well worth the wait, but don’t wait too long, like even this is wasting your time, so stop reading and go listen NOW! Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s announcement time, so we start this episode with Em’s big reveal, you will need to pretend it comes with explosions of glitter, streamers and other gaiety that wasn’t added during recording, mostly because when you unleash stuff like that into a confined space, it makes a huge mess and no one wants to be dealing with that clean up. Then Michael joins Em to demand he’s like Madonna, seems pretty standard by now, we then swiftly move onto the big news of the past week like the death of Prince Phillip. It seems like the announcement of his passing has been endless, so naturally we take time out to cover off all of the things, from Lizzie’s loss after nearly 75 years of having him by her side, which prompts Em to wonder who the Queen’s version of her Michael Lucas is. There’s also the twitter pile and the jokes and memes that followed, the completely understandable reaction Indigenous people had to the news and even the media’s stock pile of pre-prepared tributes to reflect the passing of the famous, which may have inspired Em to think about what hers would look like if she got one. We also couldn’t talk the Royal Family without wondering what Fergie will be doing when it comes time for the funeral, will she even be invited? There’s also a brand new Shero worth celebrating, her name is Christine Holgate and she deserves props after her appearance at a Senate Committee this week where she detailed how she was humiliated and bullied out of her job as the CEO of Australia Post. Again we’re keen to know if she has a Michael Lucas on direct dial for help with her Senate outfit choices, which inspires Em to detail exactly what she would be wearing should she ever be called up for a Christina Holgate style takedown. So grab your headphones or pump up the volly on your speakers and dive in now for a bunch of Royal ranting and endless inspirational outfit ideas for when you have to cancel someone, plus everything else that comes along with an Emsolation podcast episode. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hands up who’s in for a pop culture extravaganza this episode...we’re gonna assume some of you put your hands up, or at least thought to yourself, yep totes in, because Em has been laid up in bed with the tummy wobbles (which is a much more pleasant term for what happens when you have gastro and it’s coming out of you like lava, my words not Em’s) anyway her need to stay close to her bathroom facilities means Em has spent the last few days in front of the internet, so she’s got all of the pop culture things that she needs to talk about. We will begin with an apology, apparently some listeners are willing to actually fact check this show, hence there’s some Britney die hards asking for some recognition on a false fact we made, after that we’ll move straight into Michael’s very first stage show since the relaxing of restrictions and it just so happens it was Frozen the Musical. Naturally Em is mad keen to know if it’s worth dragging Elio along to witness the live version as he is currently deep within a toddler vortex of Frozen appreciation that means he must be given multiple viewings of both movies on repeat, plus all his Frozen branded merchandising within touching distance as well. The dating life of the cast of the Wiggles has also been an online obsession of Em’s and there are new developments worth sharing, which will make you ache for the Wiggles even more than we already do. Plus there’s the news that the break out star and all round hottie from Bridgerton, Regé-Jean Page won’t be returning for Season 2 and finally we need to talk about what is going on with Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson’s son Chet Hanks, he’s an actor and a rapper and he’s got Em and Michael freaking out with his latest efforts online, it’s a LOT to process. So plug in and get your pop culture upload in one glorious glitter filled galavant of podcast listening. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If you’ve been anywhere near Em’s Instagram account in the last week, you will know she jumped on a flight to Sydney with her eldest Chella, popped on a drop dead gorg sequinned ensemble and sashayed her way up the red carpet JUST so she could profess even MORE love for the musical Hamilton. Now that the Aussie version of Hamilton has arrived Down Under, Em can’t wait to give you the lowdown on what it’s like and also how it somehow manages to be uniquely Australian, even though it's a musical about American history. Once they’ve exhausted all their accolades for Hamilton, Em and Michael will swing the doors of their Institut de Musique (totes made that name up but I figure it’s kinda like a virtual music video laboratory, patent pending) anyway name aside, they will swing the doors of their Institut wide open so they can go into extreme forensic detail on the Lil Nas X clip for his new song ‘Montero (Call Me by Your Name)’. If you’re yet to see it, Lil Nas X transports us from the Garden of Eden, to a Colosseum where he’s persecuted and sent to heaven, but before he gets there a pole emerges from below that he then rides all the way to hell, just so he can give the devil a lap dance, seduce and kill him and then take his crown. It’s pretty much a visual extravaganza filled with LGBTQ imagery and themes plus a heap of Greco-Roman and medieval Christian motifs and messages in both Greek and Latin, so together Em and Michael will cover all three acts. Naturally I don’t think I’m revealing any secrets when I say that the stripper pole straight to hell was their favourite part. There will also be time for a brief chat about Britney’s response to the ‘Free Britney’ doco, plus we need to talk about that 3 day lockdown that’s been given to Queenslanders in the lead up to Easter. So find your ideal chill zone, get your headphones or speakers primed and dive into another Emsolation episode stuffed to the brim with all the stuff you never know you needed, but will no doubt be thankful for once you’re done. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You do realise that if I’m actually writing this description, and then you are actually reading it, then that must mean that Em and Michael have been chatting and someone has been hitting record right? Ya huh that's EXACTLY what it means, Emsolation is back for Season 2 and we have a lot to work through, like a LOT. It’s safe to say that most of Australia is probably shook with what’s been happening within Australian politics lately, so Em and Michael need to work through the cavalcade of whack that’s recently been revealed. There’s the revelation that some men have been treating the desks of female MP’s as collection points for their repugnant DNA. They cannot believe what's been happening there, nor that people have the time to do stuff like that at work. They’re also worried about what’s been going down at the chapel inside Parliament House too, and they just really want to know what Scomo’s going to do about it all. He keeps saying he’s listening, but we’re all worried about what’s going to happen next. Then it’s on to the news that Em is off to witness the premiere of the Australian version of Hamilton LIVE. ON. STAGE. The level of excitement coursing through every cell of Em’s body is currently too much for her to deal with, so much so that she can’t even really articulate it, so expect some actual squeals, in place of conversation, when it all gets too much. There’s also time to reflect on Em’s upcoming performances at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, it’s a love letter to Melbourne, and naturally a second show has already been announced, probably because the first one sold out before Em even had a chance to say “go buy tickets, swipe up NOW” on her Insta-stories. She’s also decided she’s not going to be anxious before she performs anymore, mostly because it’s a waste of time and energy, unlike this podcast, which is worth ALL of your time and can actually rebuild your energy levels. So grab your headphones and level up with the contents of this episode of Emsolation. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

HUZZAH! It’s surprise bonus episode time! That’s right, that thing you know you needed right this very minute, because obvs you were feeling this in your waters, or had that my podcast is back spidey tingle, or just saw it teased all over the socials, has SUDDENLY RETURNED! It’s been months and sooooo many things have gone down, so why wouldn’t we come back to work our way through a grab bag of our favourite finds. So grab your headphones and settle in for a cavalcade of all of the things, as Em and Michael return to update us on stuff like the brand new Britney Spears doco ‘Framing Britney Spears’, the sumptuously designed soapy drama that is the Netflix series ‘Bridgerton’, and even how mumfluencer and wife of Alec Baldwin, Hilaria, turned out to not be actually Spanish. There’s also time to chat the stunning 80’s realness of the Stan series ‘It’s A Sin’, the clusterfluff of the Capitol riots and the follow up Inauguration, Meaghan and Harry announcing they’re pregnant again, PLUS Em’s upcoming stage show AND Michael’s upcoming TV series. So consider this your big, massive catch up episode and enjoy it at your earliest convenience...maybe don’t binge it all in one sitting, or you could binge it and then binge it again, or just sample a few minutes, get a few giggles in, then give it a rest until you’re ready for some more….or just try all of those options perhaps. Look we’re just excited to be back, so we’re probably rambling a bit, but you know what to do so have at it. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hands up who wants to hurriedly push 2020 out the door like it’s some long lost Uncle who gatecrashed your Christmas party, insulted and traumatised your guests, and sneezed all over your food. We’re gonna assume most of you raised your hands so fast that you pretty much punched the sky in your haste to confirm that we is all well and truly done with this dumpster fire of a year. As this will be our final episode of Emsolation for the year, Em and Michael have a bunch of stuff they wanna work through before they bid you bye bye. First up, they’ll tackle the backlash Lizzo is receiving for promoting a 10 day smoothie detox that she’s just completed on Instagram. Em and Michael also wanna talk about how the debut novel from a new feminist author called Florence Given, has been completely derailed, after a one time friend of Florence accused her of ripping off Black women's work for her book ‘Women Don’t Owe You Pretty’. Then it’s time to grab a large popcorn, a choc top and a stupidly large fizzy drink, and settle into your recliner for the greatest story ever told. Em is ready for the tea to be spilled as she runs us through what she’s calling ‘The Final Meltdown’. This ain't no movie, it’s not a musical, a book, or even a song, although it probably could be turned into all of those things, nope ‘The Final Meltdown’ is what Em is calling what went down when the whole year just came up and hit her in the face during her family beach holiday. Basically, Em just let her family know ALL the things they’d done during the year, that made her feel unappreciated. Em is describing it as The Greatest Tale that she’s ever told, she even likens herself to being a Slow Cooker. Finally, we wrap things up on some fun, with a Michael Lucas Madonna quiz, which we’re pretty much doing just so we can really illustrate how deep Michael’s complete obsession for Madge is. We also wanna thank everyone for coming along on this hilariously hectic and glitter stuffed ride, we promise there’s more of that to come in 2021 and we’re sending podcast hugs to you and yours. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode of Emsolation is a little on the hefty side, naturally it’s filled to the brim with the usual campery and fun, we even get a chance to revisit one of Em’s favourite topics, conspiracy theories, but the one thing helping to make this an extra long episode? Probably something to do with the solid 20 minutes that Em devotes to ranting about James Corden in the new Netflix movie ‘The Prom’. Ultimately Em loved ‘The Prom’, why wouldn’t she, it’s got Meryl Streep and Nicole Kidman in it, it’s got singing, dancing and LOTS of glitter and campery, so naturally all of that is a giant yaaas. However Em just wishes they’d hire proper singers and dancers, she was so mad, but then she still loved it because she’s meant to love it. Em stayed up all night thinking about it, so here’s the takeaways, Meryl is pretty solid, Nicole is loopy and definitely not a Fosse dancer, and James Corden...well you should probably just listen to get the full rundown on Em’s thoughts on James, so prep yourself for a lot of talk about ‘The Prom’, like, a LOT. Then we move onto Taylor Swift’s new album ‘evermore’ and some of the secret meanings behind the songs that her fans have decided are DEFINITELY true. Em is all about Taylor Swift song conspiracy theories, mostly because they are safe conspiracy theories, you know they’re not telling people to drink bleach or convince you every vaccine has microchips inside. Instead they push theories about the meanings of Taylor’s lyrics, who the songs are about, and even announcing the names of her famous friends' forthcoming babies. Finally we’ll devote a bit of time to Delta Goodrem’s Christmas Special, so this episode is pretty much camper than Christmas, so camp you should probs wrap yourself in tinsel and hang a Christmas bauble on each ear while you listen, you know, just to team with the theme. Or not, we’re not about to tell you how you should dress while you listen, so please feel free to get around it in the nude if that works better, you do you boo. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Let’s start this description off with an acknowledgement that Em and Michael, are both operating from weird, scatterbrained places this week. Michael is in the midst of filming his new TV series called ‘The Newsreader’ which is coming to the ABC in 2021. As you can imagine, filming a TV series is a HUGE effort, it’s full on from start to finish, so that means Michael needs to be everywhere, all at once, doing everything from putting out fires, to the general hysteria that comes from managing a bunch of creative people who are all working to bring your script to life. Meanwhile, Em was settling into her first counselling session with a brand spanking new psychologist this week, so she’s been pretty focussed on that. Hence Em and Michael figure why not talk about all of that in this podcast, let’s just talk about it. Once they’ve taken you from the pandemonium of filming a TV series during a pandemic, to the blurk of being on a brand new couch about to go over all of your things with a new psychologist, they’ll move onto the sexy retelling of the Colonel Sanders origin story, starring 90’s heart throb Mario Lopez. Yes you hungie percent read that right, and yes it is the same Colonel Sanders who introduced the world to Kentucky Fried Chicken. It would seem that Lifetime and KFC have partnered together to throw some money into making a sexy 15 minute mini movie, a romantic thriller if you will. Em and Michael have zero idea how much of this romantic rendering of the Colonel’s origin story is true, but they can report that they are here for it and also that there isn’t a sex scene that involves KFC gravy and a bed of hot chips, all filmed by a drone, which really does seem like a missed opportunity. There’s also a bunch of chat around the hardships of starting with a new therapist and the process of telling them ALL of the things. Then we wrap up by reflecting on Madge getting a tattoo, because when Madonna gets ink for the very first time, obviously we’re gonna be there to reflect it and critique it. So set your brains to scatter, with a sprinkling of weird (which is probably how most of us operate them on the regular anyway) and you’ll once again find this listening experience very agreeable. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

As a regular consumer of this podcast, when we tell you that the content of today’s episode will cover everything from a Mariah Carey Christmas Special, the relentless weirdness of Rudy Giuiliani over the last few weeks, plus more on ‘The Crown’ and that doyen of all things soooo hot right now, Harry Styles, then you’d realise we’ve stumbled across peak Emsolation content. As you can no doubt imagine, having assembled THE perfect menu for Em and Michael to reflect on, most of this podcast will obviously be dominated by reflecting the Queen of Christmas returning to our TV screens. You’ll experience a full review from Em on ‘Mariah Carey’s Magical Christmas Special’, mostly delivered without actually pausing for breath, so prepare yourself for a verbal tsunami of Diva inspired gushing. Then it’s onto Netflix’s refusal to acknowledge at the beginning of each episode of ‘The Crown’ that the series isn’t an actual documentary. That refusal has helped trigger a new round of hatred towards Camilla and Charles as they find themselves suddenly unpopular again as a result of the new seasons storyline. After we work through that, it’s onto the clusterfluff of relentless “What the actual WHAT!??!” that has been Rudy Guiliani over the last six weeks. Rudy has perfected his own brand of cray-cray and as a result we’ve been dragged through one of the most hectic rides we’ve ever witnessed...so naturally there’s a LOT to talk through. Finally, we see things out with the unending joy that is Harry Styles and his banana, which has inspired Michael to undertake the Harry Styles Banana Photo Challenge. That probably deserves an explanation...but also NOT giving you an explanation OR any context before you see the end result of all Michael’s banana wrangling (as presented in living colour with Em Rusciano approved insta filters attached) is waaaay more fun, hence we’ll be going with that. So grab your headphones, find your favourite space to let your giggles out, and have at the hilarity within, now with an added bonus photographic challenge for you to enjoy once you’re done as well...so many gifts to share hehe. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s the final year of the Trump administration living large at the White House, which also means it’s the final year of Melania doing the White House Christmas decorations. Thanks to a bit of leaked audio recorded by a former BFF of Melania, we know she doesn’t “give a f*** about Christmas stuff and decorating. But I need to do it right?”, yes, yes you do Melania. Hence she’s no doubt been showing off her lack of f***s by decking the halls with a variety of weird options, from a forest of 40 blood red Christmas trees, that looked like they’d been the victim of a Carrie style prom night prank, to hallways lined with dead branches, all painted stark white, then shoved into giant white pot plants. So for her final effort, Em was kind of hoping Melania would go for more of a gothic, emo expression with her festive festooning, just as her final fuck you to Americans, sadly she’s gone very traditional with her “America the beautiful” theming. Em and Michael also need to chat about Tara Reid approaching Nicole Kidman via the Instagram comments section on a post by our original BMX Bandit. Seems Tara is on the hustle for actors to appear in a new film she’s producing that revolves around drugging the attendees of a kids party with magic mushrooms, as you do. Rather than bother with agents, and her people talking to their people, Tara seems to have figured, pffft as if, I’m just gonna hit up Nicole Kidman in the comments section of that picture she just casually posted on the ‘gram. At the time of recording, we were still unsure if Nicole had responded yet, Tara and the rest of us, will probably be waiting for a very long time on that reply. Convo’s around Nicole Kidman naturally usher in discussions about whether it is okay or not, to be commenting on Nicole’s face. Naturally, Em would usually say “NO we just don’t comment on the way a woman looks” but she also found Nicole's face was actually distracting at times whilst watching her star in ‘The Undoing’. So prepare yourself for some yuletide yawning, a what the actual what moment of Tara Reid realness, and a tentative talk about how to freeze a face for all eternity, so standard Emsolation action really. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

While we’ve been serving lockdown realness from our lounge rooms, our lady and saviour Dolly Parton has been busy. Not only has she used a stack of her millions to help fund the development of a Covid vaccine, she’s also just casually composed, co-produced and performed in a Christmas movie musical. So naturally Em and Michael will be spending a large portion of this episode deep diving into the seasonal wonder that is the Netflix movie ‘Dolly Parton’s Christmas on the Square’. To start we’ll need to talk about the outfits, we also need to talk about how Dolly is a VERY sparkly, glamourous, homeless woman, but...she’s Dolly, so as if she isn’t going to be Dolly. Christine Baranski is amazing as Lady Scrooge, but we need to state for the podcast record that Em is quoted as describing it as “really bad, it’s bad, but it’s so bad, it’s good, it really is in that realm”. Em and Michael’s excitement about Mariah Carey’s upcoming Christmas special needs to be reflected too. Speaking of being in Santa season, Michael feels that everyone’s been very eager to put up their Christmas decorations this year, something Em helped confirm when she dropped her “Jason Momoa in a Sparkly Leotard” Christmas extravaganza the previous week. There’s also Rhonda Burchmore being omitted from performing at Carols by Candlelight and how much they loved that she publicly called them out about the snub. Then Michael takes a moment to talk a lot of smack about Carols in the Domain, because he feels that Carols by Candlelight is vastly superior. So secure the drip guard around the base of that lit candle, grab a bag of festively tainted popcorn, and settle in for all that tea to be spilt. Then we talk about the brand new Shawn Mendes documentary that left Em feeling largely underwhelmed, her take away being “he’s clearly a young man who’s just terrified all the time”. Sadly it wasn’t a great rockumentary, especially when you compare it to the benchmark that Madonna set when she released her groundbreaking ‘Truth or Dare’/’In Bed with Madonna’ doco. To see us out Em has an announcement about how Drake should absolutely never play Barack Obama, so secure those headphones of yours over your listen holes or hit the volume on your speakers and get some Emsolation happening.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Did you know that some people choose a theme when it comes time to dig the Christmas decorations out of storage and deck the halls? Neither did I, but apparently it’s a thing and of course Em is the one who’s made me aware of this fantastical festive festooning fact. This year her theme is...something I would have never considered would be a Christmas decorating starting point, but that’s why we’re here, to celebrate the fact that Em’s seeing in Santa with a “Jason Momoa in a sparkly leotard” theme. You’ll find your confusion will probably dissipate if you check out the added visuals that complete the Christmas theming story on Em’s socials. Theme established, it’s on to Em and Michael talking his new TV show coming to the ABC in 2021, it’s called ‘The Newsreader’. The lead female character is a feisty ethnic woman fighting against the straight white male TV Executives who are trying to make her be something that she’s not. Apparently Michael reckons it’s definitely not based on Em in any way, it’s just not, he’s totes doesn’t know where he got the inspiration though which seems a teensy bit weird. Then we chat about Dan Andrews not running for Federal Politics, which Em and Michael just see as a challenge, it’s a long term goal for them, they’ll probably just need to talk to his wife and get him back on board. We then attempt to calmly express Em’s dismay at an Instagram post from some Melbourne socialite guy, who took time out to share a pic of his new girlfriend, and also shit all over his equally famous former wife in the caption. Em felt it was a misstep for him, she also failed at expressing that calmly, because it really struck a chord with her. There’s also questions about what goes into orchestrating the perfect crying selfie, is it all about the angles? Where should the tear placement be? Can you rock a snot bubble if you capture it in the light beautifully? You know, just normal, stock standard stuff, which then leads to Em confronting Michael on how he never likes any of her photos on Instagram. Basically once Em gently unlatches the restraining bolt on her rage beast, it’s very hard for her to focus, like she’s really distracted, you’ll hear it, so grab your headphones and see if you can pick the moment she let’s it off the chain. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Imagine for a moment that this podcast were a Theme Park, we’d probably call it something snazzy like Emsolation Land, and then this episode would be the BIG DIPPER, our Ultimate Rollercoaster Ride, this is the one that you’d gladly spend hours toasting in the sun, just waiting to finally get strapped into. In fact, you probably need this intro just to cushion you for the full experience we’re about to go on together. We start with Em’s intro, where she reveals how a panic attack inspired a request on socials for your most embarrassing high school stories. Em was hoping that by resharing them on the ‘gram it would help her, and everyone else, realise that we ALL have our own stuff. Then we step into all the different ways that Em’s anxiety chooses to display itself. For donkeys Em thought what she experienced was unique to her, but by talking about it, she’s realised that others feel the exact same way. So maybe when you’re listening to this, you’ll also find yourself going “oh my goodness, I feel nauseous too when I start getting anxious, or sleepy, or impulsive”. Then Em delivers what she described as “an absolute whirlwind, verbal explosion” which includes a moment where Michael has to leave to answer his front door, but Em just keeps the podcast going because she just has so much that she needed to say. There’s the new collaboration between Miley Cyrus and Dua Lipa to reflect on, it would seem that Em wanted more, Michael however was happy with it. Barack Obama sat down with Oprah for an interview, which leads to a chat about what Em and Michael’s Presidential biographies would be titled. Em isn’t a fan of the title of Barack’s, but surprise, surprise, not really anymore but anyway, yes Michael was okay with it. We then arrive at the point of the podcast where Em launches into a very passionate 15 minute sermon on the John Farnham Musical, and why SHE should be playing John. Finally, we wrap up on the article that was written about Em and Michael’s friendship, just so that Em can critique him on his answers, she’s very sweaty by the end of all of this. Oh, she also nearly cries a few times as well, just out of passion...and anxiety. You basically won’t need to exercise after you’ve listened, because you’ll actually feel like you’ve run a marathon. It’s a total whirlwind, so strap in, keep your head down and avoid the flying dairy cows. There are no cows, that’s just a lame ‘Twister’ reference we threw in for added drama and effect. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this Emsolation conversation Em sits down with modern day viking, heart throb and 1/3 of the comedy group Aunty Donna, Broden Kelly. They discuss dominating Netflix, The Blues Brothers and making it big on your own. Everything’s a drum! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you know about the power of saying “NO”? If your answer to that question is “NO” then teensy clap for sticking with the theme, but also prepare to be educated on how saying “NO” can actually be very empowering. Em’s said “NO” twice this week already, and in her intro she’s going to run us through how it’s kinda addictive, it also feels good and why you should be saying “NO” more often. So there’s a resounding “YES” to all of that and then we swiftly follow it up with a NOPE to the new season of ‘The Crown’. Em is having real problems with the latest season of the hugely successful Netflix series, she feels like it needs to decide if it’s a documentary, or a work of fiction, because currently it’s dipping in and out of both, and Em also has some issues with the themes as well. Obviously we’re not entirely sure if Peter Morgan, the main writer of ‘The Crown’, is listening to the Emsolation podcast, but let it be known that Em has some notes she’d like to work through within this episode, the basic gist is, she loves it, but she hates it too. Then we move onto former One Directioner Harry Styles making history after appearing as the very first solo male cover star on US Vogue. He acknowledged that moment by shaking things up when it came to his sartorial choices, which saw him being photographed in a skirt, a kilt and a variety of other glamorous ensembles, it is truly magnificent. Unfortunately, having a man in a dress is something that conservative commentator Candace Owens couldn’t cope with, claiming “there is no society that can survive without strong men”, so naturally there’s a lot to unpack there for Em and Michael, plus we also need to talk about how Dolly Parton is actually single handedly curing the Covid virus. So say “NO” to anything and everything else BUT this podcast, and get listening at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Question for you first up, no need to answer because obvs we can’t hear you, but here it is nonetheless. Do you think you were the backbone of your household during the pandemic? If you said “ya huh”, “yes”, “well duuuuh” or anything else in the affirmative, then huzzah because Em’s intro is all about YOU! Em’s got props and well dones for you because there’s a chance you didn’t get a well done from the people around you, they saw loosening lockdown laws and bolted, Em’s here to say she sees you and wants to recognise that selfless work just in case those around you didn’t. Then Em and Michael briefly discuss the outbreak in Adelaide, Michael is gonna take a hardline on it this time around, he’s all about shutting those borders if we have to. Our Queen and savior, Dolly Parton, sat down for a talk with Oprah Winfrey, which needs discussion, there’s also questions to be had around the architecture of the flesh gloves Dolly was rocking. Then it’s on to an extensive chat on the Netflix documentary ‘The Crown’ which dropped its 4th season over the weekend. Em hasn’t really had a chance to binge it all as of yet, she only been able to sample a few episodes mostly because she was trapped in a vortex of teen cleaning hell. She’s still a little bit traumatised by what she found, apparently, and this is a direct quote, “there’s not enough showers in the world for me to wash off what I found in Odette’s room” so that sounds spectacularly disgusting, and I for one can’t wait to hear more. So perhaps let your last meal settle a smidge in your tummy, if you’re not good with tales of teenage complacency and what kind of bacteria and exotic funguses they can cultivate as a result of that, you might wanna proceed with caution. Everyone else can dive right in and experience it all in living, breathing, podcast colour whenever you’re ready. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So when it came time to start recording this episode, we thought we might try and not talk about Donald Trump, but the fact that he’s being such a big baby about the U.S. Election results, meant that Em and Michael inevitably found themselves talking about how he refuses to go, leaving them wondering how this is all going to play out. We also briefly touched on the idea of Ivanka running for President, Michael reckons it won’t happen, Em thinks it needs to be a reality TV show. Then it’s onto an in depth chat about voter fraud, but not in the US Election, no this fraud happened as part of the voting for the 2020 Bird of the Year contest in New Zealand. Ya huh ACTUAL voter fraud happened...in the Bird of the Year contest, talk about ruffling some feathers, it’s enough to make you fly the coop...and other bird related puns. Em was naturally really upset because she LOVES birds and for the first time in the history of this podcast, Em got to flex her native bird knowledge muscles, and yes that is a strange flex but we’re here for it. Em actually takes us through all her favourite native birds, Michael actually only has one bird he rates, Em clearly has many faves, across MANY different categories, so there’s a lot of bird chat from our resident bird lady. We then pause bird chat after Em mentions the scene in Steel Magnolias where Drum, the Dad, shoots at a tree full of birds, so that Michael can tell us about the actor he’s currently working with who met Dolly Parton a couple of weeks ago. This of course allowed Em to show off her Dolly Parton accent, hot tip, it’s way better than her New Zealand accent, and also how she can relate to Drum because her trees are full of noisy Rainbow Lorikeets, but unlike him, she would NEVER take to them with a shotgun. Finally, we’ve gotta reflect on the shit show of our Federal Government refusing to fly the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags in the Senate chamber for NAIDOC Week. So fling open the door on our audio aviary, stocked to the rafters with the finest in feathered finery, and crack open an egg of podcast goodness into your ears, and yeah we know it sounds messy, but we promise it’s totally not. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some might call ‘Dildos and Dead People’ a provocative title for a podcast, and if it wasn’t an episode of Emsolation you might have justified concerns about why those two things are being bought together into one podcast. Then again, maybe you saw that title and thought to yourself “I’m intrigued” or “no way, is this an audio tutorial” or even “finally” and if that’s the case, then you probably can’t sit with us, but we still totally appreciate you being here anyway. So for all those who need reassurance on the episode title before you press play and proceed, it all revolves around the Republicans and the fall out of the U.S. election. Obviously if you haven’t spent ALL your spare time awaiting the arrival of Em and Michael’s post mortem of the US election, then how very dare you and do you even know what you’ve been missing out on?. There’s a list of things to check off, but the fact that the Republicans booked their press conference into a car park at a place called Four Seasons Landscaping, rather than the Four Seasons Hotel is our priority. That’s where the dildos and dead people come in, yes seriously, the Republicans chose to hold a press conference in the carpark at Four Seasons Landscaping, which just happens to sit between a crematorium and an adult sex shop, because of course it does. There’s also Em and Michael’s favourite celebrity reactions to the U.S. election to cover off, plus they wanna share their love for Jill Biden, and Michael wants to outline the moments that made him cry the most. There’s also a bunch of other things happening on the planet, so we’ll also check in on Dan Andrews and the further lifting of restrictions in Victoria, and Em has been sitting on a LOT of excitement around the announcement of the cast for the Australian version of the Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’. So step away from whatever it is you’re wasting your time on right now, and spend some quality time hanging out with us instead. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So while the world holds its collective breath over the outcome of the 2020 Presidential Race, we obviously have more U.S. election chat for you. At the time of recording we were still balanced on a knife's edge and waiting on Pennsylvania to hurry up and report their figures. While we all wait on the results, it would seem that some people in power are rapidly unspooling. So there’s the amazing press release that was written in all caps from Trump to sort through, plus they’re apparently trying to keep him away from the press. Then there’s a new show on Netflix that Em’s obsessed with, it’s called ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ and it revolves around a young female chess prodigy in the 50’s, surprisingly Em felt she and the central character had a lot in common. Then there’s a lot of time devoted to working through the Goop Christmas List, because of course there is, but if you think it’s going to be all about taking the piss out of Gwyneth and her Goop empire, think again. In fact, Em even dropped the truth bomb that she would actually like EVERYTHING on it, including the $48,000 Pyramid Commode. Em isn’t afraid to say she unabashedly loves the entire Goop Christmas list, she wouldn’t actually buy it of course, she can’t afford it for one, but she still loves it all and she certainly wouldn’t say no if it was all gifted to her, so cmon Gwyneth, sort a glitter sister out if you’re reading this hehe. We also need to help Em process the fact that she has somehow become the vagina woman and how she doesn’t necessarily wanna be that. Remember how when you were little and you perhaps said you loved something specific, like Batman, and then for the next ten years, each and every person you know, gifts you a Batman themed gift over and over again? Yeah, well that’s now happening to Em with vaginas, ever since she ushered her 12 dancing vaginas on stage, she’s now become the vagina woman. Anytime there’s anything remotely vaginal content-wise online, Em gets tagged in it, and she doesn’t necessarily wanna be that person. So remove her name from that lady garden post you were about to tag her in, and step into another edition of Emsolation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay kids we’ve got things to celebrate, NO not the U.S. Election results (at the time of writing it was still too early to call, sweet baby cheeses can we please have something to celebrate there?) the thing we’re celebrating is Em and Michael actually doing this episode TOGETHER! Ya huh, they were actually together in the same room, face to face, no screens, no buffering, no pyjamas or sans pants action, everyone was rocking proper going outside outfits. It’s a FIRST for Emsolation and it all happened while Em and Michael kept their eyes glued to the rolling U.S. Election coverage, hence you’ll get lots of Election chat. Sadly for American’s, there’s no democracy sausage wrapped in bread for them to stuff their faces with after they vote, instead they just get a sticker, which Chelsea Handler used to decorate her boobs and share on social media, so obviously that gets a mention. They’ll reflect on Beyonce’s decision to come out as a Biden and Harris supporter, Em reckons she left it way too late. It also left Em and Michael wondering who organises and co-ordinates the divas when they decide they wanna come out and endorse a candidate, and why so slack when it came to getting Queen Bey sorted. So basically it’s a LOT of Election talk, but in the same room for the first time in the history of the podcast. So prepare yourself for the unrestrained joy of these two being in the same room together, one of them conjuring up their very best ‘Magical Unicorn of Death’ moments, which naturally encourages ‘The Enchanted Seahorse of Hope’ to step in and suggest a few ‘lighter’ options, it’s how it’s meant to be, so press play and have at it at your earliest convenience  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Things are going to be little different this week, but it’s going to be ok; Em is here to guide you all through it in this mini support pod! She knew you’d be worried if NOTHING came out on a Tuesday, so she wanted to reassure you and let you know what’s going to be happening. Obviously it’s U.S ELECTION WEEK, Em and Michael’s grand final week, so listen to Mother and everything will be ok, with the pod... We can’t say the same for America. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em sits down with folk-singer, sexual-health educator and ultimate Period Queen, Lucy Peach. To learn about the menstrual cycle and how to life hack it - yes, it's a thing, ladies. It's called the 'Power of the Period' and if you don't know it, it'll change your world. PERIOD. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/EmsolationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To begin with, Em’s putting out a call to action over the cutting down of a sacred 350-year-old Djab Wurrung Directions Tree in Victoria, it’s a devastating loss for our Indigenous community and it’s important to understand why, and what we can do to help prevent further sacred trees from suffering the same fate. Then there’s the strangeness of no longer being in lockdown for Victorians to process, as Em and Michael step cautiously  into their new found freedom, there’s naturally been a lot of emotional cycles we’ve had to process over that time. There’s the reaction to Em’s appearance on the podcast of her ex-boss to work through, with Em revealing the exact truth about her emotional state after she recorded it. Hot tip, she was in the depths of despair ‘bout it, thankfully Michael is well schooled in how to handle those moments and always has a plan for when Em is feeling that way. How ace are best friends who get you and know how to help us reset when we’re feeling meh. There’s some US chat to follow that, with a rather bleak prediction from the Magical Unicorn of Death, which figures, what with the name and all, anyway she’s officially announcing it, she thinks Donald Trump is actually going to steal the election. That’s not all the magically horned prancer of doom is dropping either, she also outlines exactly how she thinks Trump will do it too. There’s also what the appointment of Amy Coney Barrett as a Supreme Court Judge will ultimately mean for the US to mull over, and whilst the Enchanted Seahorse of Hope is maintaining that Biden can do it, the Magical Unicorn is having none of it, and totes reckons Trump will abscond with it. Em would also like to add a footnote that she’s super excited about her Emsolation Conversation that’s dropping Friday featuring Lucy Peach. Lucy is a period preacher and she has a life hack for people with cycles, so you can learn to harness the power of your ovulation and menstruation cycles and basically become super humans, so no biggy, but also….gaaaa get excited. Also it should be noted that this upcoming episode is for anyone who loves anyone with a cycle, it’s not just for people who get periods. It’s designed for ANYONE to listen to, so you can understand that mystical thing that we never talk about, mostly because of shame around our bodies and how they naturally function, so DON’T be afraid to listen, learn and enjoy it with us together.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.