Do you know about the power of saying “NO”? If your answer to that question is “NO” then teensy clap for sticking with the theme, but also prepare to be educated on how saying “NO” can actually be very empowering. Em’s said “NO” twice this week already, and in her intro she’s going to run us through how it’s kinda addictive, it also feels good and why you should be saying “NO” more often. So there’s a resounding “YES” to all of that and then we swiftly follow it up with a NOPE to the new season of ‘The Crown’. Em is having real problems with the latest season of the hugely successful Netflix series, she feels like it needs to decide if it’s a documentary, or a work of fiction, because currently it’s dipping in and out of both, and Em also has some issues with the themes as well. Obviously we’re not entirely sure if Peter Morgan, the main writer of ‘The Crown’, is listening to the Emsolation podcast, but let it be known that Em has some notes she’d like to work through within this episode, the basic gist is, she loves it, but she hates it too. Then we move onto former One Directioner Harry Styles making history after appearing as the very first solo male cover star on US Vogue. He acknowledged that moment by shaking things up when it came to his sartorial choices, which saw him being photographed in a skirt, a kilt and a variety of other glamorous ensembles, it is truly magnificent. Unfortunately, having a man in a dress is something that conservative commentator Candace Owens couldn’t cope with, claiming “there is no society that can survive without strong men”, so naturally there’s a lot to unpack there for Em and Michael, plus we also need to talk about how Dolly Parton is actually single handedly curing the Covid virus. So say “NO” to anything and everything else BUT this podcast, and get listening at your earliest convenience. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Question for you first up, no need to answer because obvs we can’t hear you, but here it is nonetheless. Do you think you were the backbone of your household during the pandemic? If you said “ya huh”, “yes”, “well duuuuh” or anything else in the affirmative, then huzzah because Em’s intro is all about YOU! Em’s got props and well dones for you because there’s a chance you didn’t get a well done from the people around you, they saw loosening lockdown laws and bolted, Em’s here to say she sees you and wants to recognise that selfless work just in case those around you didn’t. Then Em and Michael briefly discuss the outbreak in Adelaide, Michael is gonna take a hardline on it this time around, he’s all about shutting those borders if we have to. Our Queen and savior, Dolly Parton, sat down for a talk with Oprah Winfrey, which needs discussion, there’s also questions to be had around the architecture of the flesh gloves Dolly was rocking. Then it’s on to an extensive chat on the Netflix documentary ‘The Crown’ which dropped its 4th season over the weekend. Em hasn’t really had a chance to binge it all as of yet, she only been able to sample a few episodes mostly because she was trapped in a vortex of teen cleaning hell. She’s still a little bit traumatised by what she found, apparently, and this is a direct quote, “there’s not enough showers in the world for me to wash off what I found in Odette’s room” so that sounds spectacularly disgusting, and I for one can’t wait to hear more. So perhaps let your last meal settle a smidge in your tummy, if you’re not good with tales of teenage complacency and what kind of bacteria and exotic funguses they can cultivate as a result of that, you might wanna proceed with caution. Everyone else can dive right in and experience it all in living, breathing, podcast colour whenever you’re ready. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So when it came time to start recording this episode, we thought we might try and not talk about Donald Trump, but the fact that he’s being such a big baby about the U.S. Election results, meant that Em and Michael inevitably found themselves talking about how he refuses to go, leaving them wondering how this is all going to play out. We also briefly touched on the idea of Ivanka running for President, Michael reckons it won’t happen, Em thinks it needs to be a reality TV show. Then it’s onto an in depth chat about voter fraud, but not in the US Election, no this fraud happened as part of the voting for the 2020 Bird of the Year contest in New Zealand. Ya huh ACTUAL voter fraud happened...in the Bird of the Year contest, talk about ruffling some feathers, it’s enough to make you fly the coop...and other bird related puns. Em was naturally really upset because she LOVES birds and for the first time in the history of this podcast, Em got to flex her native bird knowledge muscles, and yes that is a strange flex but we’re here for it. Em actually takes us through all her favourite native birds, Michael actually only has one bird he rates, Em clearly has many faves, across MANY different categories, so there’s a lot of bird chat from our resident bird lady. We then pause bird chat after Em mentions the scene in Steel Magnolias where Drum, the Dad, shoots at a tree full of birds, so that Michael can tell us about the actor he’s currently working with who met Dolly Parton a couple of weeks ago. This of course allowed Em to show off her Dolly Parton accent, hot tip, it’s way better than her New Zealand accent, and also how she can relate to Drum because her trees are full of noisy Rainbow Lorikeets, but unlike him, she would NEVER take to them with a shotgun. Finally, we’ve gotta reflect on the shit show of our Federal Government refusing to fly the Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander flags in the Senate chamber for NAIDOC Week. So fling open the door on our audio aviary, stocked to the rafters with the finest in feathered finery, and crack open an egg of podcast goodness into your ears, and yeah we know it sounds messy, but we promise it’s totally not. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Some might call ‘Dildos and Dead People’ a provocative title for a podcast, and if it wasn’t an episode of Emsolation you might have justified concerns about why those two things are being bought together into one podcast. Then again, maybe you saw that title and thought to yourself “I’m intrigued” or “no way, is this an audio tutorial” or even “finally” and if that’s the case, then you probably can’t sit with us, but we still totally appreciate you being here anyway. So for all those who need reassurance on the episode title before you press play and proceed, it all revolves around the Republicans and the fall out of the U.S. election. Obviously if you haven’t spent ALL your spare time awaiting the arrival of Em and Michael’s post mortem of the US election, then how very dare you and do you even know what you’ve been missing out on?. There’s a list of things to check off, but the fact that the Republicans booked their press conference into a car park at a place called Four Seasons Landscaping, rather than the Four Seasons Hotel is our priority. That’s where the dildos and dead people come in, yes seriously, the Republicans chose to hold a press conference in the carpark at Four Seasons Landscaping, which just happens to sit between a crematorium and an adult sex shop, because of course it does. There’s also Em and Michael’s favourite celebrity reactions to the U.S. election to cover off, plus they wanna share their love for Jill Biden, and Michael wants to outline the moments that made him cry the most. There’s also a bunch of other things happening on the planet, so we’ll also check in on Dan Andrews and the further lifting of restrictions in Victoria, and Em has been sitting on a LOT of excitement around the announcement of the cast for the Australian version of the Broadway musical ‘Hamilton’. So step away from whatever it is you’re wasting your time on right now, and spend some quality time hanging out with us instead. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

So while the world holds its collective breath over the outcome of the 2020 Presidential Race, we obviously have more U.S. election chat for you. At the time of recording we were still balanced on a knife's edge and waiting on Pennsylvania to hurry up and report their figures. While we all wait on the results, it would seem that some people in power are rapidly unspooling. So there’s the amazing press release that was written in all caps from Trump to sort through, plus they’re apparently trying to keep him away from the press. Then there’s a new show on Netflix that Em’s obsessed with, it’s called ‘The Queen’s Gambit’ and it revolves around a young female chess prodigy in the 50’s, surprisingly Em felt she and the central character had a lot in common. Then there’s a lot of time devoted to working through the Goop Christmas List, because of course there is, but if you think it’s going to be all about taking the piss out of Gwyneth and her Goop empire, think again. In fact, Em even dropped the truth bomb that she would actually like EVERYTHING on it, including the $48,000 Pyramid Commode. Em isn’t afraid to say she unabashedly loves the entire Goop Christmas list, she wouldn’t actually buy it of course, she can’t afford it for one, but she still loves it all and she certainly wouldn’t say no if it was all gifted to her, so cmon Gwyneth, sort a glitter sister out if you’re reading this hehe. We also need to help Em process the fact that she has somehow become the vagina woman and how she doesn’t necessarily wanna be that. Remember how when you were little and you perhaps said you loved something specific, like Batman, and then for the next ten years, each and every person you know, gifts you a Batman themed gift over and over again? Yeah, well that’s now happening to Em with vaginas, ever since she ushered her 12 dancing vaginas on stage, she’s now become the vagina woman. Anytime there’s anything remotely vaginal content-wise online, Em gets tagged in it, and she doesn’t necessarily wanna be that person. So remove her name from that lady garden post you were about to tag her in, and step into another edition of Emsolation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Okay kids we’ve got things to celebrate, NO not the U.S. Election results (at the time of writing it was still too early to call, sweet baby cheeses can we please have something to celebrate there?) the thing we’re celebrating is Em and Michael actually doing this episode TOGETHER! Ya huh, they were actually together in the same room, face to face, no screens, no buffering, no pyjamas or sans pants action, everyone was rocking proper going outside outfits. It’s a FIRST for Emsolation and it all happened while Em and Michael kept their eyes glued to the rolling U.S. Election coverage, hence you’ll get lots of Election chat. Sadly for American’s, there’s no democracy sausage wrapped in bread for them to stuff their faces with after they vote, instead they just get a sticker, which Chelsea Handler used to decorate her boobs and share on social media, so obviously that gets a mention. They’ll reflect on Beyonce’s decision to come out as a Biden and Harris supporter, Em reckons she left it way too late. It also left Em and Michael wondering who organises and co-ordinates the divas when they decide they wanna come out and endorse a candidate, and why so slack when it came to getting Queen Bey sorted. So basically it’s a LOT of Election talk, but in the same room for the first time in the history of the podcast. So prepare yourself for the unrestrained joy of these two being in the same room together, one of them conjuring up their very best ‘Magical Unicorn of Death’ moments, which naturally encourages ‘The Enchanted Seahorse of Hope’ to step in and suggest a few ‘lighter’ options, it’s how it’s meant to be, so press play and have at it at your earliest convenience  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Things are going to be little different this week, but it’s going to be ok; Em is here to guide you all through it in this mini support pod! She knew you’d be worried if NOTHING came out on a Tuesday, so she wanted to reassure you and let you know what’s going to be happening. Obviously it’s U.S ELECTION WEEK, Em and Michael’s grand final week, so listen to Mother and everything will be ok, with the pod... We can’t say the same for America. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em sits down with folk-singer, sexual-health educator and ultimate Period Queen, Lucy Peach. To learn about the menstrual cycle and how to life hack it - yes, it's a thing, ladies. It's called the 'Power of the Period' and if you don't know it, it'll change your world. PERIOD. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/EmsolationSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

To begin with, Em’s putting out a call to action over the cutting down of a sacred 350-year-old Djab Wurrung Directions Tree in Victoria, it’s a devastating loss for our Indigenous community and it’s important to understand why, and what we can do to help prevent further sacred trees from suffering the same fate. Then there’s the strangeness of no longer being in lockdown for Victorians to process, as Em and Michael step cautiously  into their new found freedom, there’s naturally been a lot of emotional cycles we’ve had to process over that time. There’s the reaction to Em’s appearance on the podcast of her ex-boss to work through, with Em revealing the exact truth about her emotional state after she recorded it. Hot tip, she was in the depths of despair ‘bout it, thankfully Michael is well schooled in how to handle those moments and always has a plan for when Em is feeling that way. How ace are best friends who get you and know how to help us reset when we’re feeling meh. There’s some US chat to follow that, with a rather bleak prediction from the Magical Unicorn of Death, which figures, what with the name and all, anyway she’s officially announcing it, she thinks Donald Trump is actually going to steal the election. That’s not all the magically horned prancer of doom is dropping either, she also outlines exactly how she thinks Trump will do it too. There’s also what the appointment of Amy Coney Barrett as a Supreme Court Judge will ultimately mean for the US to mull over, and whilst the Enchanted Seahorse of Hope is maintaining that Biden can do it, the Magical Unicorn is having none of it, and totes reckons Trump will abscond with it. Em would also like to add a footnote that she’s super excited about her Emsolation Conversation that’s dropping Friday featuring Lucy Peach. Lucy is a period preacher and she has a life hack for people with cycles, so you can learn to harness the power of your ovulation and menstruation cycles and basically become super humans, so no biggy, but also….gaaaa get excited. Also it should be noted that this upcoming episode is for anyone who loves anyone with a cycle, it’s not just for people who get periods. It’s designed for ANYONE to listen to, so you can understand that mystical thing that we never talk about, mostly because of shame around our bodies and how they naturally function, so DON’T be afraid to listen, learn and enjoy it with us together.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There’s excitement in the air with Odie heading back to school and Em has found herself wistfully thinking of when she was 13, back then she obsessing over Fred Savage from the TV Show ‘The Wonder Years’, and just wanting to be around her teeny tween friends, so she’s impressed with how well Odie has dealt with lockdown. Then there’s time to reflect on Em’s recent appearance on the podcast of her old radio boss Craig, they haven’t talked in a really long time and Em wasn’t even keen on the idea initially, but then she decided to pull on her big girl pants and have at it. So Em finally got to vent a bunch of negative feelings and as a result it actually turned into a very healing experience. Then Michael returns to help Em sort through the latest developments around Victoria’s Covid restrictions, the weekend saw the Government opting for a cautious pausing of restriction lifting in Victoria while they wait for more results. There’s a brand new Sasha Baron Cohen movie called ‘Borat Subsequent Moviefilm’ that’s got social media worked up into a frenzy and Em has a LOT to say about that. Also across the weekend Em and Michael found time to check out some of the latest episodes of the Netflix series ‘My Next Guest Needs No Introduction with David Letterman’. His new season of guests includes Kim Kardashian West, Robert Downey Jr., Dave Chapelle and the always amazing Lizzo so there’s LOTS to chat about, plus there’s also Adele’s appearance on ‘Saturday Night Live’ to work through too. So this episode of Emsolation is really a pop culture bonanza with a sprinkling of reminiscing and vengeful podcast venting thrown in, so situation normal really. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

If there’s one thing we can thank this pandemic for, besides endless memes and a variety of artisan baking skills, it’s gotta be all the soul searching and reflection that we’ve been able to do on ourselves whilst in lockdown. Nothing quite says global pandemic like being left alone to dwell on your own thoughts and insecurities, whilst being surrounded by all the useless things you shoved into a trolley during a panic buy you did before lockdown kicked in. So it’s no surprise that the Emsolation podcast has offered up some huge realisations and thoughts during its existence. In this episode’s introduction, Em reveals how it’s taken her 30 odd years of intense scrutiny and judgement of her own body, to finally cut it some slack, and she’s never felt better. Em’s realised how much she’s been obsessing over her diet for so long, and to no end really, so huzzah to cutting ourselves some slack. Once the introduction is sorted then Em and Michael take all of us on a journey that begins with Michael’s beloved Brett Sutton being under fire, there’s hits on Gladys, there’s also hits on Jacinda’s husband Clarke again. That then gently unfolds into a discussion about why Em and Michael are no longer willing to address Britney’s instagram account anymore, plus there’s also the announcement from ‘Tiger King’s’ arch nemesis, Carole Baskin, that she’s bisexual. As Em said in her rundown of what was in the episode so I could write this description, “oh look, it goes everywhere” which she then swiftly followed up with a giggle and then this explain “we were both sleep deprived and scattered, in fact the podcast could be called sleep deprived and scattered today”. So if this podcast isn’t titled as such, then you know they’re either lying, or they’re so sleep deprived and scattered that they’ve even forgotten their own snazzy episode name. Regardless, you’re assured a wonderful, meandering, but equally hectic listen as you’ve come to expect, so plug in and press play NOW. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

There’s been a bunch of relaxing on the various lockdown laws for Victorians over the weekend, so to begin with Em and Michael discuss the easing of restrictions, Em thinks they should have gone further, Michael on the other hand is standing by Dan. Then it’s onto the stunning victory Jacinda Adern secured in the recent New Zealand election, obviously we are totes in love with her, but to ensure balance and prove this podcast isn’t one eyed, Em took on the task of doing a deep dive into why some people aren’t actually that supportive of Jacinda. Most of us can’t even imagine why anyone would be anti Jacinda, so Em was keen to try and understand the arguments coming from the other side, so she can be confident in her arguments as well. Besides her deep dive findings, there’s also time to celebrate Jacinda’s hubby Clarke coming to the aid of the reporters awaiting the election results on the night. He provided them with a selection of nibbles, hors d’oeuvres and some lovely cooked fish, as you do, or maybe you don’t, but huzzah to Clarke for coming up with a variety of options none the less. From Jacinda and Clarke’s wedded bliss we pivot onto the not so happily ever after being experienced by the actor from ‘The Wire’ and the aptly titled ‘The Affair’, Dominic West, who’s been caught out having an actual affair with his co-star Lily James. Apparently when the story broke Dominic did the totally not unusual “rush home to be with his wife” thing and then followed that up with a very weird press conference together at their front gate. The other thing worth obsessing over though is the totally random inclusion of the handwritten note that was also left, just to assure us all that everything is totes rock solid with their marriage, phew lucky they did that or we totally wouldn’t be convinced huh . Finally there’s much to be said about Michael giving himself the moniker of ‘The Enchanted Seahorse of Hope’ as a rival to Em’s not so encouraging, but equally as engaging, ‘Magical Unicorn of Death’. It makes you wonder which one of these mythical beings of hope/destruction would win in a fight. Also can enchanted seahorses actually survive out of water long enough to even make an impact against a unicorn who has magical death vibes? So many questions, and yet most of them end with the Death Unicorn coming out triumphant. Oh well, maybe you can try to imagine the mythical rumble of said freaky friends while you enjoy another comforting episode of Emsolation. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dilemma Doctors: Em and Michael assist listener Melissa with a saucy love conundrum! Melissa is considering dating a woman who is polyamorous, she has always been in monogamous relationships but is VERY tempted by her new pal. What will Em and Michael advise?! You’ll have to listen to find out! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Em’s Dad Vincie is celebrating his 69th birthday, so we start our 69th episode reflecting on the glorious lunatic that he is, and we could also just have a slice of cake, or a cupcake, or some kind of chocolate about it as well huh, just to celebrate it...you know, properly. Once that’s done, we delve into the ridiculous standard of productivity Em used to consider completely necessary when we weren’t living under restrictions. In lockdown Em’s realised that all the things she was making and doing last year whilst just running on adrenaline, was unhealthy, and she wasn’t even enjoying herself while doing it. So the pandemic has meant slowing down and re-adjusting those expectations which has left her feeling way more settled, so now it’s just about marrying up the two and finding the right balance. Then we head into a hectic session of Em and Michael discussing Gladys Berejiklian’s personal relationship with Darryl Maguire, they cover off what’s been happening with the ICAC (Independent Commision Against Corruption) investigation, there’s some reflection time allocated to the dodgy boyfriends Em and Michael have had in the past and then somehow we also get some more podcast role play from both of them, because of course we do. This time around you’ll be able to experience a pretend Premiers Zoom meeting where none of the people’s names have been changed to protect the innocent, because none of them are innocent, duh. Michael returns as Daniel Andrews and Em takes on the role she probably never expected she’d have to, but here we are, she’ll bring Gladys Berejiklian to life, apparently it’s interesting (that interesting might have been delivered with laughs and a rising questioning tone at the end) and Em also said “I don’t know how we got there, but we did” so bless. Once you’ve experienced that there’s just enough time to cover off why Michael has suddenly found himself unable to watch Masterchef, even though he’s known for worshipping at the heels of Melissa Leong and lusting over Jock Zonfrillo...and maybe that’s part of the problem, you’ll find out within. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s been epiphany central at Em’s over the weekend, these things tend to happen when you dwell on thoughts about people who kind of hate you. This is not in any way a spoiler alert, but it’s something Em sometimes obsesses about, and by sometimes...I mean way too much. When Em was a twenty something, other people’s hatred kind of fueled her and drove her on, now it doesn’t sit so well. Over time Em’s realised she's more interested in having a life that feels as good as it can feel, which is why she’s so open and honest online. In sharing her struggles, it allows her to get them out of her own head, whilst hopefully helping other people feel better in their lives too. Em described this intro as being like a shower ramble, it’s basically a massive verbal spew of all the stuff she thought about while she had insomnia over the weekend, so you have her permission to skip it all if you’re not up for the full download, pffft good one. Em may have also admitted that she uses the start of this podcast as her own personal one way therapy session, which for Em is really the ultimate therapy session hehe. Then Michael returns to help deliver a brief rundown on the hectic meme cycle that kicked into action after that fly appeared on the Vice Presidential Debate, turns out 10 minutes after it landed on Pence, Em was officially done with the fly memes, swift result. There’s also the stunt that Trump apparently wanted to do when he left the hospital, Em and Michael actually think his idea was amazing and they’re actually disappointed he didn’t actually deliver on it. Then it’s time for a full deep dive into ‘Emily in Paris’ on Netflix, Em has a very complicated relationship with it, her pros are it’s from Darren Star who created shows like ‘Beverly Hills, 90210’, ‘Melrose Place’ and ‘Sex in the City’ but it’s also got lots of problematic issues too, especially if you’re actually French, Em figures you’re probably annoyed if that's the case. Ultimately Em hated it and loved it in equal measure, yes she consumed it very quickly, and yes they really go there and break it down. Then finally, because of course there’s more, in Melbourne it seems like everyone is battling with this last little bit of lockdown, it kind of feels like we’ve run the marathon, only to trip and stumble just 10 minutes from the finish line, so we’ll delve into that too. So take a deep breath and dive right in.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This week Em and Michael help Nikita (not her real name, but she wanted a sexy spy name so we chose Nikita) Nikita is getting married and has a difficult relationship with her mother, she wants to know if it’s okay to not invite her along to the big wedding dress shopping trip. It should be known that Em and Michael clash violently on the appropriate course of action, whose side will YOU be on?! I’m with Em, because she’s my boss.   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s the one thing we’ve probably all been desperate to obtain, so it’s hardly surprising that Em and Michael are feeling it too, hence they’ve decided that this episode of Emsolation will be a Trump free zone. They just need a break from the toxic Cheeto wizard right now, and we’re pretty sure that no one, aside from Donald himself, is about to disagree with that decision. Instead they’ll focus more on the lighter stuff, like two shows they really love at the moment. For instance, there’s a famous podcast that’s just been turned into a documentary series on Netflix, it’s called ‘Song Exploder’ and it’s basically where musicians take apart their songs, and piece by piece, tell the story of how they were made. The debut series follows artists like Michael Stipe from R.E.M., Alicia Keys, Ty Dolla $ign and Lin-Manual Miranda, the creator of the hugely successful musical ‘Hamilton’, all revealing the process of how they created one of their greatest songs. Obviously Em and Michael absolutely LOVED it and they both cried their way through it as well. They then talk about Rihanna and her recent lingerie show for her Savage X Fenty - Volume 2 range. Em got emotional because she felt finally represented, there were real women doing the modelling, you could see their actual skin properly, with the lighting showing off the beauty of their stretch marks, the cellulite, their tan lines, just all of the things that normal people have, that the beauty industry tries to make us believe doesn’t exist. So again they absolutely loved it, and they’re both really feeling how Rihanna has morphed into this cool creative overlord now. So prepare for a delightful traipse through a podcast episode devoted to a bit of escapism and filled to the brim with delightful things for our ears and eyes, Em and Michael loved it, and we’re pretty sure you will too. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

First up we talk about Chrissy Teigen announcing the devastating loss of her son Jack and Em’s decision to speak about it on The Project. It’s not something Em originally wanted to talk about, but she also realised that she has made a commitment to talk about pregnancy loss in the hope it helps to remove the stigma and encourages other women to share their experiences with each other. Then it’s on to Trump and his positive test for Covid, as Em and Michael were recording this episode they actually got the news that he’d been released from hospital, so huzzah for some actual breaking news while in record mode for a podcast. They also cover off the doctors giving a different diagnosis to the White House, Michael is convinced that they also edited footage of Trump coughing out of the official videos he released, plus there’s the photo of Trump signing a piece of paper, which lead to questions around whether the paper he was signing was blank or not. There’s also time to talk about the documentary ‘Class Action Park’ that Michael has been watching. It’s about a really shonky amusement park in the 80’s that became famous for unsafe rides, underage and under trained employees, and alcohol consumption on premises, which naturally combined to result in a bunch of deaths. Anyway that blatant disregard for safety helped usher in a bunch of reminiscing about how shonky 80’s parenting actually was. Sure we had a lot of fun and it was a great decade, but it was also the only decade where you could truly be a negligent parent and actually get away with it. How so many of us actually survived that decade, probably needs to be researched and talked about on a deeper level, but for now we’ll just dip our toes in the memories of how hectic our childhoods were and share a few laughs about it. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This weeks Dilemma involves Janey, her soon to be turning 14 year old daughter and the Colonel. Janey is a theme queen - her daughter, not so much and when you're stuck in the Melbourne covid lockdown, there's a limit to the party planning you can do. Or is there? Can Em and Michael find an answer? And what's the Colonel got to do with it? See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

After revealing her traumatising school swim carnival experience in our previous episode, Em opens this episode by issuing a challenge for everyone listening to pass on their embarrassing puberty stories to the children in their life, in an effort to help normalize that experience and lessen the shame that surrounds young bodies as they’re changing. For instance, when the writer of this podcast description was a developing teenager, he chose to attack all the new furry growth on my pants region with my father's dry razor, and then show my younger brothers so they wouldn’t harass me about having hair down there. In hindsight that probably wasn’t a great idea, it opened me up to even more ridicule from my brothers, who also told their friends, plus the experience of having an itch down there from shaving rash when you’re 13, isn’t a fun ride either. Lesson learnt, and perhaps if my parents had helped normalise the changes my body was experiencing, I wouldn’t have introduced myself to manscaping so early. So Em is encouraging you to share those times when your body went rogue as a kid, but also keep it age appropriate, there’s no point freaking them out too early. Michael returns to help Em talk through the steaming shit pile that was the US Presidential debate, Em is willing to declare a winner, Michael does no such thing. Then it’s on to JK Rowling and her transphobic comments and how much that has been affecting people who love the Harry Potter books. Em has recently been grappling with that problem because her youngest daughter Odette is right into Harry Potter at the moment, which raises the question about whether you can separate the artist from their art. To wrap things up, Em and Michael are  basically trying to start a movement by urging Dan Andrews to give himself a break, they think it’s time to issue him with a #DayOffDan. So if you’re ready to get on board with that idea, and everything else we’ve flagged above, assume your favourite listening position and enjoy See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I know reality TV has ruined the word ‘journey’ for each and every one of us, so in approaching the writing of the description for this episode, I went searching for another word that would help describe the odyssey (that’s the first one, more to come hehe) you’re about to launch into. We begin this episode with all all the ouchy wah wah info on Em and her sore ankle, she had to be cut from her huffy puffy workout wear and it’s ruined her new running schedule, but also, she’s confined to the couch, so maybe her ankles did this deliberately. Anyway once that’s done, it’s onto all the stuff that’s been going on with Victoria’s Labor Party, which includes Jenny Mikakos leaving, Dan easing restrictions for Victorians and Em and Michael admitting that they don’t really care who’s responsible, they basically just want them to get on with it. There’s also time to delve into what’s going on in the US with Donald Trump’s tax return and his choice for the new Supreme Court Judge to replace Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Then our aural expedition (another word for journey) heads off into painful story town, this one is actually inspired by Em’s latest binge watching obsession of the new series on Stan called ‘Pen15’. It’s a comedic story about middle school as seen through the eyes of two 7th grade girls dealing with the awkwardness of being a teenager. This TV series has given Em the confidence to reveal a story that she’s been keeping to herself for a VERY long time. It basically involves a tampon and a school sport carnival, so you already get that this expedition, this sojourn, this actual jaunt into Em’s past, has left her describing it as “quite the journey” (sometimes journey truly is the best option, curse you reality TV) anyway there’s twists and turns, Michael almost couldn’t keep listening and wondered if he’d be able to see it through. So maybe you should just make sure you prepare yourself to relive a smidge of high school trauma, but then ultimately, hopefully, you’ll come out the other side feeling better. Good luck everyone. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Remember when you used to race to get Dolly magazine the second it came out from the news agency?! First you’d rip the free blue eyeshadow off that was stuck to the cover, briefly pause to have a smell of the new impulse fragrance and then you’d go quickly to the Dolly doctor section! There you’d find questions about nipples, pubes and intimate smells... Well this is kind of the podcast version of that, except not really. Em and Michael are the Dilemma Doctors and they’re here to solve your dilemmas! No dilemma is too big or too small. But maybe let’s keep them petty so we can be funny about it. Enjoy the first instalment of the Dilemma Doctor’s, Em and Michael help a man to figure out how to tell his partner he’s not very good at giving gifts. FUN! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before we start, you might like to secure your tray tables and tighten your seatbelt because Em has issued a warning that this episode is an emotion charged, passionate discussion filled edition of the podcast and you’re gonna need to strap your shit in. To begin with we discuss Ellen’s apology and it’s a full deep dive, we talk ALL of the things from the backlash and her outfit choice, to the way the audience was shown and what we think will happen next. Then it’s onto Dan Andrews and we also briefly touch on hot Auslan’s pants package, although NO TOUCHING, just a teeny touch of discussion in and around it. Obviously we still wanna remain respectful of his valuable and wonderful work and make sure we don’t cross the lines of decency on someone just doing their job. Em then drops her theory around Dan and how she reckons he will definitely replace Albo as the leader of the Labor Party for Federal Government, Em is also obsessed with his wife Catherine. Then hold your breath for another deep, deep dive as they dissect the brand new Paris Hilton documentary, so that’s all of the things that make this a tighten your straps type of episode. In fact, at the time of writing Em wasn’t even sure what her intro would contain, but she assures us it won’t be too much because everything else recorded with Michael was as hefty as the pants of that guy doing Auslan at the press conference, too much? Probably, but I couldn’t resist the rather obvious comparison, oh and we should also add that Em stood up THREE TIMES during the recording, ya huh she actually stood up three times because she got so overwrought. She also had to apologise to everyone at the end of it AND she woke up her children, it was HECTIC. So clutch your figurative pearls and secure all of the straps and enjoy. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s reflection time as we begin this podcast, and that doesn’t mean we are looking at ourselves in the mirror, but obviously if we are, then LOOK at how fierce we look. Anyway the type of reflection we’re talking about is the sort that Em needs right now to help inspire her to keep getting out of bed during lockdown. She needs to look for the lessons learnt and the silver linings, it’s just how her brain functions. So we open this podcast with a chat about all the positive things that have come out of being in lockdown, and here’s the hot tip, turns out even Em was pleasantly surprised at how many there actually were. Then Michael joins Em to talk about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, in particular her amazing marriage to her husband Marty, which actually helped Em to reflect on hers, and how Em and Scott figured out how to stop fighting. Turns out it was surprisingly simple when they finally cottoned onto it. Then it’s onto Miley Cyrus saying she faked it with Liam Henderson, Em and Michael are not about that, their national pride reared up and they get super protective over Liam. Speaking of being protective, they’re also having none of bogans thinking they can use John Farnham’s You’re The Voice for their anti-mask rallies. I think Em expressed it well when she sent me the rundown for this description by simply saying “NOT. OKAY., okay?”. Plus there’s also time to cover off how Em got accidentally day drunk on Rosé on Sunday, doesn’t seem very accidental to me but here we are. The full explain is within this podcast, so grab your headphones and have at it like Em attacks a glass of Rosé, with large gulps and lots of satisfying exhales throughout. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We first heard from Liz on the "Live from the Roadside" episode back in May. Liz sent Em and Scotty a message asking for some help when she went for a promotion. Fast forward to this week and Liz has sent in another message, and let's just say, things are looking up. Good on ya Liz!   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Support the show: https://www.patreon.com/Emsolation See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.