The Horny Housewife
This podcast is about the reality of sex in marriage. The good, the bad, the ugly & the inevitable. Every Monday I am discussing all things intimacy & answering your burning questions about what really goes on behind closed doors. Tune in to hear topics like navigating mismatched libidos, dead bedrooms, dating your spouse and technique tips for both men and women. Your host Jordyn Hakes is about to become your favorite unfiltered, brutally honest big(little?) sister. For all the married people still trying to find pleasure within their marriage, this one is for you. We may be married, by but golly -we are still horny (or want to be!!!) Join me each week for some guaranteed laughs, no sugar coating, sexy tips, story times and the occasional jaw dropping listener question. Watch on youtube.com/@thhpod and Spotify!
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EP 37-Storytime's & Slutty Tips
Im here and this one is a fucking RIDE...first its a story time of a CRAZY ass man who physically attacked me in the Houston IAH airport, its weird, its horrifying, and it happened to lucky ol me lol. I super unfortunately blackout and get on the...
46 min
202
EP 36- Getting laid & marriage.
Lets talk about how much were getting it in.. How much sex are married people REALLY having? Im back horny fam, First things first I had to vent about some recent pop culture; why is Oliva Rodrigo is so much hotter than Tswift, why "Bennifer"...
46 min
203
EP 35- Wife'd up worthy?
Im back this week with a recap of what the fuck is up, my thirst omegle self, and have a bunch of feedback from YOU ALL about what "wife material" looks like!! I asked men and women what their POV on the topic was, and of course I let you know my...
39 min
204
EP 34 NO NEW FRIENDS
Drake said it first; and we didn't know how we felt, thought maybe a little snotty..but NOPE hell naw, he is was right NO NEW FRIENDS. Jordyn is here to tell you the storytime of a lifetime. Twilight zone meets Bad girls club, Jordyn...
75 min
205
Ep 33- Catching up and Anal Interludes.
Im sure Im not the only one who has scrolled their nudes next to a person on the plane, or am I? Speaking of nudes, we have a mini trauma story of the time my nudes were leaked....at my place of work; a story that organically presented itself this...
45 min
206
EP32- Two Faced, or Too Bad?
Hey Horny Fam, this week its all things double standards. What exactly constitutes being hypocritical in the relationship/marriage? Do you trip out when your man says its boys night, is he giving you a hard time when you say your going out with ur...
58 min
207
EP 31- All the Penis's of the Rainbow
Taste the rainbow. Literally try them all. Jordyn here this week going over where she's at mentally whilst her husband is away on a fishing trip. The main focus of this episode is to shallow-ly and intentionally go over all the aesthetics of the...
39 min
208
EP 30 - B*tches R Us'
Female Friendships, Women Empowerment, Your friendly fake as f*ck neighborhood b*tches. Lets mention it allllllllll. Im back this week, just me the devil on my shoulder, and the positive little heart felt angel b*tch on the other side, covering what...
54 min
209
EP 29- Ms. Peggy
Hey Horny Fam, Jordyn is back this time with another housewife, Kelly, here to tell her story and reality. Here at The Horny Housewife we don't sugarcoat stories, we tell them as they are in a judgment free zone. We know relationships...
42 min
210
EP 28-Limp Bizkit
LETS TALK ABOUT SEX. Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PE) are SO common in men, and we need to talk about it! Jordyn is back at it solo-episoding diving into the uncomfy topic of how we (men and women) feel about it and what it...
44 min
211
EP 27- An Affair Worth Having
A love story. Jordyn is here with a special guest and friend Lauren; who is DEEP DIVING into her own personal story of a love affair gone good. Not right away of course hehe. We are peeling back the layers (ahem there is a lot) and leaving judgment...
70 min
212
EP 26 - Surviving Marriage 101
This week Jordyn is going through some Do's and Do-f#cking-nots in marriage according to....her. From stroking an ego, farting in front of your spouse ( WE ADDRESS A PASS GAS LIE BEING SPREAD ) anal tradegies, to being bipolar with intention, we...
40 min
213
EP 25- The threesome with one too many.
Jordyn is back and sharing her thirsty attempt to shamelessly self promo on the next door app (actually tried craigslist too but that failed as well, damn moderators). She suspects a Karen neighbor which sounds probable, and a little shit talking...
32 min
214
EP 24- Blogger B*tches & TikTok home wreckers
Jordyn is in session with the first (of many) MOODY MONDAYZ. Taking a mini dive into pop culture, the Khloe Kardashian photo scandal (we think she's gorgeous in them all) FILTER LYFEEEE, and most importantly talking shit about the girls who...
29 min
215
EP 23 -Grieve "the block" and take notes
Hi all Im back solo-episoding bringing you the latest views on toxic dating red flags. A mini follow up of "roasting a fuck boy" was in order due to the reach out of a "mini John Tucker must die club." I felt for these women, I had felt the pain these...
32 min
216
EP 22-There's Something About Mary,
Hi y'all, Im here this time with a GUEST, the Virgin Mary, not THE, but def a previous virgin who chose one dick 19 years ago and we are SHOOKETH. I made her come tell her shit bc she isn't the norm, she's doing SOMETHING right bc the...
54 min
217
EP 21- Only Fans Vs. Porn
Hi yall! Im back and this time were talking about the difference (from a woman/wifes perspective) of only fans vs porn. Is there a definite line or is it too grey? Is only fans the virtual reality of porn where its too close to home (maybe literally)?...
32 min
218
EP 20- Sex Killerz and the "AAA"
Hey horny b's. Were going over the triple A's this week and they are guarantee to get you laid. I start the episode briefly answering a listener question on what to do while riding your partner, and then go straight into real talk of what is...
41 min
219
Ep 19- HOTT OR NOT
I asked the men indeed did answer!! From your keyboard out my mouth I tell the ladies what you men said was the HOTTEST to do in the sac, and then what was....on the contrary. Ball grabbing was the most controversial one listed that we didn't...
27 min
220
Ep 18- Roasting a F*ckboy.
HIIIIIIIII this horny housewife missed y'all!!!! I have tea to spill, bridges to burn and bitches to stand up for!!! This week, she (me) is savage mode ripping a fuck boy a new one? Okay honestly I went light on the guy, I just had to tell you...
30 min
221
Ep 17- The Worst Thing I Have Ever Done
OH BOY! Please be kind in your judgments, because this week I have TWO story times for you where I gotta get RAW AND REAL. One is about an man who wants a toolbox up his ass, and another is me being a cringe gotta go girlfriend. Im talking all things...
51 min
222
Ep 16- Snoop Beezy
This week I'm talking about invading your man, (or womans) privacy. Its 2020 and we can't deny what the times have brought to the table, and behind the scenes. What should the terms be when married; whats going too far? Whats "crazy". How...
28 min
223
Ep 15- The men ask, the horny housewife answers.
Your men are asking questions that they are too scared to ask you gf, and I'm hear to tell them the truth. From rim jobs, to your PH balance, and the ever common story of a horny husband wanting his uninterested wife. These men truly want to...
40 min
224
Ep 14- The Original F*ckboy
A little update from me about my v-day EPIC FAIL. This episode I reminisce on my ex's and one in particular who made me the Jordy I am today. Thank you Shmevin. Okay well they all led me here, but this one really taught me the tricks of the...
47 min
225
Ep 13- Will You Be My SLUTTY Valentineeeee?
It's almost Valentines Day horn dogs, and Im bringing you an EXTRA episode this week letting you know what the hell to DO, men I'm telling you what to get your b*tch and how to not f*ck it up. Ladies I'm telling you how to not being a...
26 min