The Horny Housewife

The Horny Housewife is the couples locker room talk, take notes. Your host Jordyn Hakes is raw, unfiltered and a bit salacious, discussing all things sex, the realities of marriage, & answering YOUR burning questions while always protecting anonymity. From dating your spouse, mismatched libidos, the male g-spot, backdoor entry, how-to’s for both men and women, no topic is off limits. Buckle up freaky fam I'm mentioning it all, tune in to learn how to be better in bed, more intentional in your relationships, and explore the unknown. Join me every Monday for some guaranteed laughs, no sugarcoating, sexy tips, story times and the occasional jaw dropping listener question.


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Society & Culture
Relationships
Comedy
151
Ep 44- Fight Fair
Lets have a convo about what watering your marriage looks like, beyond all the cliches, and into the reality of the sometimes having to have uncomfortable moments. Im letting you in and telling you the things I struggle with in my own marriage, and...
39 min
152
EP 43-Ranking the Top 10 Sex Positions.
Standing up, Spooning, Reverse cowgirl, the Love Seat, the Butterfly THE LIST GOES ONNNN. Im back and giving you my lovely commentary and play by play of ten superior sex positions and I'm telling you the pros and cons of each situation, the best way...
36 min
153
EP 42- Domestic Discipline and Will Smith.
Hello horny people, this Monday I bring you some fun, interesting, and disturbing content. First things first were going over YOUR answers, and my own to "what makes a person appear to be good/freaky-leeky in bed." We all can assume a good kisser up...
42 min
154
EP 41- I farted on him; a story time.
Hey y'all, Jordyn here with quite the catch up! I havent had a cocktail in a week -the CLARITY. Have I entered hot girl summer, or is that a big fat lie. Summer is almost over, so you know what that means; #rushtok.  Let me tell you, I found...
42 min
155
Ep 40- His Sex Dream & Expired Friendships
Im bAAAAck and so excited to over share with you all the things; from my boobs to my first Tenga purchase, and a couple of toxic tips. You will most likely REALLY enjoy the first story time in todays episode (there are two !!) because its about the...
53 min
156
Ep 39- "Naughty Would You Rather" Ft. Daddy D
Im back and with the man of the hour, Daddy Derrik, his first and last appearance coming in hott to tell you the fucking truth! He's an Aquarius so I promise he has no issue telling you like he sees it. Tune in hear to my naughty answers, and...
51 min
157
Ep 38- Mens bios, a letter to my ex's, squirtin...
Hi horny family, for all the men with dating profiles I have an awesome sauce tip for you to really AMP up the amount of right swipes; if you have the criteria that is. Also women, single, divorced, what the fuck ever I have some mens music taste...
40 min
158
EP 37-Storytime's & Slutty Tips
Im here and this one is a fucking RIDE...first its a story time of a CRAZY ass man who physically attacked me in the Houston IAH airport, its weird, its horrifying, and it happened to lucky ol me lol. I super unfortunately blackout and get on the...
46 min
159
EP 36- Getting laid & marriage.
Lets talk about how much were getting it in.. How much sex are married people REALLY having? Im back horny fam, First things first I had to vent about some recent pop culture; why is Oliva Rodrigo is so much hotter than Tswift, why "Bennifer"...
46 min
160
EP 35- Wife'd up worthy?
Im back this week with a recap of what the fuck is up, my thirst omegle self,  and have a bunch of feedback from YOU ALL about what "wife material" looks like!! I asked men and women what their POV on the topic was, and of course I let you know my...
39 min
161
EP 34 NO NEW FRIENDS
Drake said it first; and we didn't know how we felt, thought maybe a little snotty..but NOPE hell naw, he is was right NO NEW FRIENDS.  Jordyn is here to tell you the storytime of a lifetime.  Twilight zone meets Bad girls club, Jordyn...
75 min
162
Ep 33- Catching up and Anal Interludes.
Im sure Im not the only one who has scrolled their nudes next to a person on the plane, or am I? Speaking of nudes, we have a mini trauma story of the time my nudes were leaked....at my place of work; a story that organically presented itself this...
45 min
163
EP32- Two Faced, or Too Bad?
Hey Horny Fam,  this week its all things double standards.  What exactly constitutes being hypocritical in the relationship/marriage? Do you trip out when your man says its boys night, is he giving you a hard time when you say your going out with ur...
58 min
164
EP 31- All the Penis's of the Rainbow
Taste the rainbow. Literally try them all. Jordyn here this week going over where she's at mentally whilst her husband is away on a fishing trip.  The main focus of this episode is to shallow-ly and intentionally go over all the aesthetics of the...
39 min
165
EP 30 - B*tches R Us'
Female Friendships, Women Empowerment, Your friendly fake as f*ck neighborhood b*tches. Lets mention it allllllllll. Im back this week, just me the devil on my shoulder, and the positive little heart felt angel b*tch on the other side, covering what...
54 min
166
EP 29- Ms. Peggy
Hey Horny Fam, Jordyn is back this time with another housewife, Kelly, here to tell her story and reality.  Here at The Horny Housewife we don't sugarcoat stories, we tell them as they are in a judgment free zone. We know relationships...
42 min
167
EP 28-Limp Bizkit
LETS TALK ABOUT SEX.  Erectile Dysfunction (ED) and Premature Ejaculation (PE) are SO common in men, and we need to talk about it! Jordyn is back at it solo-episoding diving into the uncomfy topic of how we (men and women) feel about it and what it...
44 min
168
EP 27- An Affair Worth Having
A love story.  Jordyn is here with a special guest and friend Lauren; who is DEEP DIVING into her own personal story of a love affair gone good. Not right away of course hehe. We are peeling back the layers (ahem there is a lot) and leaving judgment...
70 min
169
EP 26 - Surviving Marriage 101
This week Jordyn is going through some Do's and Do-f#cking-nots in marriage according to....her. From stroking an ego, farting in front of your spouse ( WE ADDRESS A PASS GAS LIE BEING SPREAD ) anal tradegies, to being bipolar with intention, we...
40 min
170
EP 25- The threesome with one too many.
Jordyn is back and sharing her thirsty attempt to shamelessly self promo on the next door app (actually tried craigslist too but that failed as well, damn moderators).  She suspects a Karen neighbor which sounds probable, and a little shit talking...
32 min
171
EP 24- Blogger B*tches & TikTok home wreckers
Jordyn is in session with the first (of many) MOODY MONDAYZ. Taking a mini dive into pop culture, the Khloe Kardashian photo scandal (we think she's gorgeous in them all) FILTER LYFEEEE, and most importantly talking shit about the girls who...
29 min
172
EP 23 -Grieve "the block" and take notes
Hi all Im back solo-episoding bringing you the latest views on toxic dating red flags. A mini follow up of "roasting a fuck boy" was in order due to the reach out of a "mini John Tucker must die club." I felt for these women, I had felt the pain these...
32 min
173
EP 22-There's Something About Mary,
Hi y'all, Im here this time with a GUEST, the Virgin Mary, not THE, but def a previous virgin who chose one dick 19 years ago and we are SHOOKETH. I made her come tell her shit bc she isn't the norm, she's doing SOMETHING right bc the...
54 min
174
EP 21- Only Fans Vs. Porn
Hi yall! Im back and this time were talking about the difference (from a woman/wifes perspective) of only fans vs porn. Is there a definite line or is it too grey? Is only fans the virtual reality of porn where its too close to home (maybe literally)?...
32 min
175
EP 20- Sex Killerz and the "AAA"
Hey horny b's. Were going over the triple A's this week and they are guarantee to get you laid. I start the episode briefly answering a listener question on what to do while riding your partner, and then go straight into real talk of what is...
41 min