Who's responsible when you promote a major professional sporting event and one of the teams is a no-show? Lindsay breaks it down. And then JG has a cautionary tale that reminds us that some types of behavior while visiting the Vatican are frowned upon. Warning! Prolonged or repeated contact with The Shallow End Podcast may cause itching and irritating rash.

A reminder from Jethro that it's always a good idea to know what the potential fallout from a planned theft could be. But sometimes things happen that one just can't anticipate. The results are tragically hilarious. Then Lindsay has the recent tale of how one man's behavior ruined his Superbowl experience this year. Warning! The Shallow End may contain peanuts and wheat gluten.

A guy named Ozzie with a bottle of cleaning solvent causes a major problem. And then, it doesn't take state-of-the-art criminal forensic techniques to solve a crime if the perp is not too bright. Lindsay and JG have all the ridiculous details. Warning! Contents of Episode 37 are under pressure and should never be exposed to open flames.

It wasn't so much the burglarizing as it was what they did with the plunder. JG has the extremely disturbing, yet hilarious story. Then it's Lindsay's turn to remind us that calling 911 should be for, you know, important stuff. Warning! Never listen to the Shallow End while sitting in a tub full of water while holding a plugged-in air fryer.

What do you get when you mix two Australians, a ski resort, and bad planning? Lindsay has the details. Then JG regales us with stories of some very bad smuggling techniques. Warning! Episode 35 should never be re-heated in a plastic tray.

JG warns us to be careful of what we re-gift for the holidays. Things could end in a horrific display of pyrotechnics. Then, Lindsay tells us about a stupid yet polite home invader that really likes chicken. WARNING! Listening to episode 34 is an inherently dangerous undertaking. Make good choices and take personal responsibility for the outcome of your listening! Protect your privilege to listen to The Shallow End by not making the headlines or becoming a statistic.

If we've said it once, we've said it a hundred times. Stop setting things on fire! Lindsay has details. And then, Jg wants you to know that there's a time and place for drunken golf cart hijinx. Tumble dry episode 33 on low heat only.

There are just some things one shouldn't put in one's pants. JG has the blow-by-blow details. And then Lindsay asks the question, " What's the most embarrassing reason to go to the emergency room?" He then answers that very question. Caution: Episode 32's filling is hot.

Lindsay tells us about one of the most popular forms of mass entertainment a century ago. It involved explosions, shrapnel, and twisted steel wreckage. And then JG has the hilarious mishaps of a prankster with little common sense. Warning! Discontinue listening to episode 31 if minor intestinal cramping persists.

What happens when you're attempting to steal a trailer, but you're not too bright? JG has the amusing details. And then Lindsay tells us why we should never fiddle about with the weather. Episode 30 is not an actual attorney but a paid spokesperson.

Apparently, there was a recent spate of incredibly bad decisions at a Minnesota middle school. Lindsay has the chilling details. Then JG regales us with a tale involving bad timing, stupidity, and a Chicago muffler shop. Avoid allowing episode 29 coming in contact with mucous membranes.

Some sports fans take things a bit too far. Jethro has the details of this cautionary tale. Then Lindsay asks, "can a house divided stand after all?" Attention! Tumble dry episode 28 on low heat only.

The title for the world's stupidest bank robber is a very competitive division. However, Lindsay may have found a leading contender. Then, Jethro tells us about a bugler who just can't get a break. Attention! If an emergency occurs while listening to episode 27, an oxygen mask will drop down from the compartment above your head.

Sometimes Karma is not so instant. Sometimes it takes decades. JG has the details. And then, Lindsay regales us with what is possibly the most hilarious accident report ever filed. Caution! Listening to episode 26 is an inherently dangerous undertaking. 

Jethro has a surprisingly hilarious story involving a propane torch and a pail of gasoline. And then Lindsay reminds us to never underestimate our senior citizens. Especially those that are heavily armed. Warning! Episode 25 should never be listened to near an open flame.

What do three hapless middle school janitors have in common with Bill Murray's character from the movie Caddyshack? JG has the story of a very resilient gopher who gets the last laugh. Then Lindsay warns us of the dangers involved when you're not a very good smuggler. Warning! Episode 24 is for external use only.

Jethro has a story of a drunk Canadian who made bad choices and the police officer that punked him. And then, a guy caused quite a scene on the Interstate all because he didn't want to pay for an Uber. Hardhat and safety goggles are not required but are recommended when listening to Episode 22 of The Shallow End.

Jumping out of a perfectly good airplane can have bad end results. Lindsay has the story. Then, Jethro tells us of a murderer who jumped bail and was on the lam for over three decades. Don't worry. He gets his in a most delightful way. Episode 22 is freshest if listened to before date on carton.

Don't you love it when a horrible person gets their comeuppance in the end? Jethro has the story. And then, Lindsay has details on why it's not a good idea to cut corners when constructing a major dam. Warning! While listening to Episode 20, avoid contact with mucous membranes.

Jethro reports on a terrible mishap in the meat section at an Arizona Walmart. And then Lindsay gives us pointers on how not to burgle a store. WARNING! Do not puncture, incinerate, or store episode 19 above 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

They say, "pride comes before the fall." Lindsay has a perfect example of this when one man decides his thievin' skills made him invincible. Then, Jethro reminds us that you can't learn everything from a Youtube video and that some things are best left to the professionals. Warning! Contents of Episode 18 may have settled during shipment.

Some people will do anything for delicious fresh baked goods. Jethro has a story of a guy who takes it to a whole different level. And then Lindsay has our very first listener-submitted story involving what would become an awesome display of pyrotechnics. Our 17th episode ontains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.

Jethro has the story of a bank robber with extremely poor decision-making skills. Arresting police officers were bewildered. And then, who hasn't had luggage lost or damaged by a baggage handler? One guy exacted the ultimate revenge after his guitar was destroyed by a major airline. Lindsay has the details. It's episode 16! Actual crash results may vary.

Things we learned this week in The Shallow End. Don't wear flip-flops when climbing Mount Fuji. Also, nobody likes a pantsless Batman. Lindsay has the details of an ill-advised live streamed event and Jethro talks about sexual escapades gone horribly wrong. Warning! Listening to The Shallow End does not enable you to fly.