Today's caller's period is a no show. And we simply cannot work out how she feels about it.

This week's bestie caller has a gripe about people crying on socials, having a whinge and hating their husbands (has she met us?) If you want to "phone" the Bestie Hotline, send us a voice note in our instagram DMs with your dilemma! Gem & Revz x

Would it be Tuesday if there wasn’t period cups, mochas and chat about pulling out? (If you asked “of what?” you’ve got the wrong podcast). Today we do NOT have time for taking all the goddamn responsibilities for birth control for our whole damn lives. Like, when does it end? With a vasectomy, that’s when! It makes us rage, RAGE like a full-moon wolf in heat! Aaaaanyway… 😅 what is the ideal age gap for your kids? And how cute is it how we all think we can plan it down to the month. Lol, us! And would you change any of it if you could? Highly recommend a strong coffee or a double skim flat wine with this one, it gets real.

This week's bestie caller has a Grandparent problem to do with a pile of plastic junk and ungrateful little brats.

Today we're embarking on an exposé of true journalism into the dark web conspiracy that is swooping magpies; more specifically how to beat them, so we don't have to hide under a slide at the park. Somehow this takes us to weird things that are called out during sex, and yeah, that's a natural segue for us - you're the weird one. Gem is behind on booking her post-lockdown appointments, but Revz is smug (and soon to be beautiful), and then we embark on everyone's favourite game, "Would You Rather". You should definitely play along, especially if you like your gastro weekly, and your pregnancy for three years. What are we talking about? It's Tuesday, Besties, buckle up.

This week's caller has a sticky problem and it always happens at bath time...

Sometimes you just wanna shake shit up, but do not do it with your coffee order, just ask Gem. And oh shocker, we're back on the topic of Mochas. When will it end? When we all hold hands and accept it as a real coffee, says Gemma. Revz is drowning in life admin and it's killing her vibe. Worst time ever for her accountant to break up with her, but here we are. Gem discusses a potential vow renewal but then, in classic Gem style, kinda talks herself out of it and Revz hatches a plot to end up front page of the Daily Mail. Then, we're talking One-Mumanship, over-achieving Mums with a capital M and how it makes us feel shitty, but probably rightfully so. We delve into shifting perspective in this wily world. Then we dissect how to put yourself out there for parent-friend fun, once this lockdown has ended, without feeling rejected by everyone's busy. Another week in the Bestie Cupboard with your favourite loons.

What’s better? A hot coffee milkshake or cheap, wet almond milk? DISCUSS! In other very important dissertation, we hash out what exactly constitutes breakfast food, and are Twisties for breakky really a crime when in Locky D (that’s Aussie for Lockdown for our international DLs). Then speaking of food, it’s back - that shifty, slimy body image monster. It’s poking its head up again in what feels like a lifelong game of whack-a-mole. But we’re staying positive and betting that our 40s are going to be THE years (and maybe we’ll be out of lockdown then too). We also talk co-sleeping, morning glory (the vegetable, you perv..) and the word “whackadoo”. Just out here saving lives! OH! And we have an exciting announcement!

So Billie Eilish dropped an album and naturally Gem has a 12 step process. The results are mixed but she’s not giving up. Classic workaholic (but don’t say that word around her). We try and work out the collective noun for the most popular animal from last week’s game, and we go deeper into our psyches with an OFFICAL enneagram test session. Turns out we’re definitely in a simulation, so there’s that, and frankly, it explains a lot (like our *entire* friendship) and potentially the state of the world. Gem wants Revz to get on the apps, but there’s one BIG problem. Then we get into the correct way to source a meme, the benefits of Ayahuasca and how Gem’s never, ever had déjà vu. you know, NORMAL STUFF.