This week's caller has a sticky problem and it always happens at bath time...

Sometimes you just wanna shake shit up, but do not do it with your coffee order, just ask Gem. And oh shocker, we're back on the topic of Mochas. When will it end? When we all hold hands and accept it as a real coffee, says Gemma. Revz is drowning in life admin and it's killing her vibe. Worst time ever for her accountant to break up with her, but here we are. Gem discusses a potential vow renewal but then, in classic Gem style, kinda talks herself out of it and Revz hatches a plot to end up front page of the Daily Mail. Then, we're talking One-Mumanship, over-achieving Mums with a capital M and how it makes us feel shitty, but probably rightfully so. We delve into shifting perspective in this wily world. Then we dissect how to put yourself out there for parent-friend fun, once this lockdown has ended, without feeling rejected by everyone's busy. Another week in the Bestie Cupboard with your favourite loons.

What’s better? A hot coffee milkshake or cheap, wet almond milk? DISCUSS! In other very important dissertation, we hash out what exactly constitutes breakfast food, and are Twisties for breakky really a crime when in Locky D (that’s Aussie for Lockdown for our international DLs). Then speaking of food, it’s back - that shifty, slimy body image monster. It’s poking its head up again in what feels like a lifelong game of whack-a-mole. But we’re staying positive and betting that our 40s are going to be THE years (and maybe we’ll be out of lockdown then too). We also talk co-sleeping, morning glory (the vegetable, you perv..) and the word “whackadoo”. Just out here saving lives! OH! And we have an exciting announcement!

So Billie Eilish dropped an album and naturally Gem has a 12 step process. The results are mixed but she’s not giving up. Classic workaholic (but don’t say that word around her). We try and work out the collective noun for the most popular animal from last week’s game, and we go deeper into our psyches with an OFFICAL enneagram test session. Turns out we’re definitely in a simulation, so there’s that, and frankly, it explains a lot (like our *entire* friendship) and potentially the state of the world. Gem wants Revz to get on the apps, but there’s one BIG problem. Then we get into the correct way to source a meme, the benefits of Ayahuasca and how Gem’s never, ever had déjà vu. you know, NORMAL STUFF.

Another sunny day in Solitary Confinement. But thanks to the Singles-Bubble, Gem and Revzy are reunited IRL. Revz is wondering if she's the only one who isn't playing Grown Ups with her money and Gem is taking on the role of Mum, a.k.a Sensible Sandy, a.k.a Sir. Buzz Killington. But she's unfortunately, probably right on this one. Then, we get quite the rage on over the crazy divisiveness going down online around vaccinations and Revz just straight up loses the plot. Gem is trying to stay open minded, but it's all getting too much and SOMEONE BREAK US OUT OF HERE. Then we do a rapid fire AMA with your questions and, frankly, we just don't have time. There's rage, there's LOLs, there's singing and #notsponny and if you're still here, we fucking love you and please, send help cos we are loose lockdown loons. Another Tuesday with your fave Besties, bitches.

You guys, Gem is going grey. Proper grey. Probs because her daycare just up and shut down. Lucky we’re in perpetual, unending lockdown… 🥴 Today we’re just wondering, are we harder on our girls than our boys? I mean, we definitely are, but is that normal? We discuss how we don’t want to make weird-ass men out of our boys, but omg, we just want to marry them a little bit. But for real, we want to be those cool mother-in-laws and have all our adult kids loving coming to visit us every single Sunday. BUT HOW DO WE DO THIS AND NOT MAKE THEM WEIRD? And is having a girl a guarantee of a built in bestie? Or is that yet another thing we don’t wanna fuck up? Lockdown may have made us over think all of this, but here we are, in our makeshift podcast forts coming to you, just cos it’s Tuesday.

Maybe it's Sydney Lockdown, but this week we get a bit real. Or is it reel. People keep asking Revz if Gem is really as perfect as her instagram grid and frankly, its opened a can of self-conscious, 2021, macro worms. Is it uncool to appear cool on the gram these days? Or is there a feed for every feel? If you love connecting through socials online, do you need to have a "brand" or can you just show up as yourself - and what if showing up as yourself has a real, well, brand about it? What is the role of your real friends compared to your "reel" friends? And my god this is such a weird conversation, but its not like we all haven't thought about it! A deep, dopamine dive into life online, off-line, through a phone and into our heads. Revz hits a nerve with Gem and together, we try and figure out just why any of us really give a shit. ALSO SOME GOOD #NOTSPONSOREDS. Happy Tuesday! Or is it Wednesday? Or Sunday? Or October? Or 2037? We do not know, but we are here.

Fuck you Lockdown, seriously, fuck you. We at Whinge FM really want you to get in your cab and get outta here, cos now "Home Schooling" has to happen and there's a looming birthday. So really, what is there to do but cry, shop (online) and pour yourself a hefty #skimflatwine and go for your "exercise". We somehow get really macro reminiscing on our 90s music and please, someone stop the singing. On the topic of birthdays, when is the actual best time to be born and does anyone ever really care about your birthday? Really? One we won't be phoning in is our 40ths, which are still aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaages away but we have plans. Then, a bit of a gear-shift and Gem has made a major move in her professional life and its given us a case of the feels. It's an ep full of feelings, you guys. AND FEELINGS ARE FOR FEELING (Revz wrote that, cos, not sure if you know this, but Revz loves therapy).

LIVE from Sydney Lockdown, we are remote recording from under blankets to bring you more basic drivel this week. Kicking off with what everyone is talking about (19 minutes, 58 seconds mean anything to you?) #netflixandchill #donkeyschlong. As well as some retail recon the DLs have done re: tooth fairy and we're HORRIFIED. Speaking of terrifying keepsakes, we discuss breastmilk jewellery and hey, why not, if that's your jam? Right Gem? Then, Gem does not have time for her Mum flouting her utterly perfect parenting and enabling her kids' inner brat life. And Revz is so done with hormones (and frankly, should she even be allowed to do this podcast when she's in this state?) We rail at the way people give directions, COVID, vaccines, and reminisce about stalking mixed race baby hashtags; it's yet another pick n' mix from your favourite Tuesday Besties.

ROCK UPDATE! Where is that goddamn engagement ring, cos, we're still feeling queasy. Now, what is the going rate for a manky old tooth these days, and how does it all work with the Tooth Fairy? Cos it seems there's a few different stories out there, and we need there to be one. So today, we get into a much requested topic which is - What do you wish you had known about birth before you did the damn thing? We have some hacks, some (eeew) tips and (gross) advice - STAY WITH US - we get into the much-discussed episiotomy, the Day 3 Blues, Vag birth vs Sunroof, the gas, YA FIRST POO, it's g l a m o u r o u s. This turns into Maternity Ward Klepto Antics and, yes, it's a thing! Then we touch on the idea of orgasming while you're crowning... now... we don't like to judge but GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, FELICITY. As you were, Bitches. It's Tuesday in Lockdown, and this one's the loosest of them all!

Oh hey Tuesday! Can we talk about hair maintenance (or lack there of), and why Revz ever thought it was a good idea to add *go blonde* to her busy life? And then, take a breath, we get into the old g r a t i t u d e chestnut... and we've changed our tune since Ep 12, or have we? We're a bundle of contradictions on this one. This week, Gem is running on fumes, cos she has #nightcreepers and she's (shocker) over-worked. To add to this, she's having wild cheese-induced nightmares and that leads us to whether it's ever ok to recount your dreams to, well, anyone. We accidentally drop a job ad for our expanding Poddy team and then speaking of sleep, we do what we said we'd never do, and tackle the topic of sleep-training, specifically the smugness that lives on either side of the debate. Raffa is a klepto now, Revz hates Teddy's nickname and Gem can't pronounce "hypocrite" BUT the big takeaway is that everyone sucks, you should seek out your confirmation bias and, bloody, YOU DO YOU MOTHERF*CKRS!

Gemma is, because of course she is, spring cleaning! How fun is good old fashioned de-clutter (stay with us).... and how annoying is it when a partner moves sh*t, puts sh*t in the "wrong" place etc... Then, there's a diamond situation and it's making us all sick. But that's what happens when you move house and go into labour on the same day. Then, Revz goes full pirate, and will someone reign her filthy mouth in? Then, we do not have time for sick days. Fuck you, snotty sick days, don't you know there is NO time? And then look, this is controversial, but can we talk about gentle parenting… we are not sure we have any time for it, but then, we are once again, a bundle of contradictions so who the f*ck knows. Welcome to f*cking Tuesday.

Coming to you "LIVE" from Tasmania, thanks to Stillwater Seven and Clover Hill Wines. This week, we really cover the full gamut on Whinge FM. Starting with the Emergency Department, like, who has the time guys? Not us! And if human children aren't enough, can we talk about "Fur Babies"? Revz has a gripe, and she's ready to lay it on the line ("don't @ me", she begs, like a big dumb, dumb). Then, look, can we talk about when kids wanna dress themselves? Why do they have zero style when we've tried so hard to raise them chic? WHY?! Revz bought horrendous shoes for her gross kids that assault the senses, and Gem claims that Raffa has fun clothes but we need to see the receipts. A bougie sea plane interrupts us before we get into the detailed intricacies of what makes Reality TV (yes, it's very important), and Revz exposes Gem for the Game Nazi that she is. All in all, another basic bitch-cast, but from a beautiful part of the world. Thanks for having us Tassie!

Unpopular opinion... but can we all hold hands and say that sometimes it's just easier to solo parent? THERE! WE SAID IT. But, careful what you wish for. This week, we are looking into the future, with a special guest, Psychic Medium Anna Paola Boyd, but before we do (and oh, how we do), we reminisce about the past, and remember high school formals? Gem is still smug about her cheap-ass formal outfit and Revz cannot believe she thought she was fat, when in reality she looked like a greyhound. Enter Anna, who has some bombs to drop on us about our future and all the best made plans we thought we had all sewn up. Apparently there are babies on their way, major moves, career slam-dunks and a SOUL CONTRACT. Strap in, basic besties, this one goes roguer than rogue.

First up, scandal, is Gem up the duff? Cos Revz has done some detective work and if it looks like a jar of pickles and smells like a jar of pickles... MAYBE ITS A JAR OF PICKLES. Gem recounts her first kiss, which makes us mourn the loss of kissing, RIP The Pash. Then we talk about The Sex Talk and how Revz has given it multiple times. Then, look, we're ragey. And we're sick of being ragey on this topic, but we just are. We discuss a current news story and our visceral reaction to how it's played out, which gets us back into sexual politics and workplace behaviour and DON'T WORRY, THEN WE TALK ABOUT THE BEST FOUNDATION.

Ok, periods. Why? Just why? I mean, we know why but, please, have we not evolved beyond the blinding rage? Then we talk about intervention during birth and the further blinding rage we feel when people glorify “natural” birth #whateverthatmeans. Speaking of loving the drugs, we went OUT for Mother’s Day (jokes, there were no drugs) and we keep getting shamed for it. So, is Mother’s Day really for mothers then? And what’s the greatest gift you could give a mum? Which leads us to friendships and the difference between old ass mates and new Mum-Friends. How do you take a friend crush to a friendmance? Finally, Gem is - shocker - exhausted and Revz calls her on her bullsh*t and “next-week” attitude. But in a career win, Gem reveals her new project! So it’s ALL happening!

First up, the people need to know Gem's nickname, and Revz is on the case in this worldwide exclusive and it reminds us just how silly and insecure we all are about the dumbest things that literally no one else cares about. Speaking of names; to keep your name or change it when you get married? What about the kids? And here we go again at the p a t r i a r c h y. Also, throwing Gem further under the bus, we're talking bad, old tattoos... and guess who's inked up? Lucky she gives no f*cks! Then, we finally get down to it, and the topic on the table is infertility. We have both experienced it, been there for each other through it, and are on the other side. So how do you support someone you love who is navigating life under the cloud of infertility? And how do you tell your childless friend that you are pregnant? We've been there, so you don't have to. Another Tuesday with your basic besties.

What's your most used emoji? Is it loving, a warm hug, Spanish dancer vibes or straight up murdery? Maybe it gives away your drinking problem (*cough* REVZ). We steal each other's phones and psychoanalyse where we're at based on tiny cartoons. Then, we get into a bit of self identity, pregnancy and how going from 0-1 kid and 1-2 kids changes who you are. Oh also, Gem has a biter on her hands and Revzy has a lemon. Thanks for hanging with your fave hot-mess besties for another Tuesday Loose-Fest.

Hoorah the school holidays are FINALLY over but the whinging kids and sibling fighting, does that EVER end? When you’ve had enough, is it ok to completely lose it in front of your kids? And what about with Hubs? We wonder if there’s a good and bad way to fight with your significant other. Now, it’s far less important, but Revz doesn’t know what to wear and it’s all she can think about. Gem on the other hand in comfy AF (pun intended) being a mumsy dag and ain’t nobody gonna stop her. Sack dresses FTW or tits out for the boys... #discuss.