Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Demp...
HOT MESS is a laugh-out-loud podcast with Actor & Comedian Alec Mapa along with professional psychotherapist, Matthew Dempsey, who both explore the pursuit of health and wellness in a hilarious and compassionate way. Everyone’s trying to survive in a world that’s turned upside down, but beneath the surface we’re all a HOT MESS and the healing process can trigger intense feelings. But, have no fear, Alec and Matthew are here! They’ll zero in on an ISSUE OF THE DAY to compare and despair uncertainties, anxiety of social media, body image, aging in a youth-obsessed culture and unaddressed conflict that is HOLDING YOU BACK. They’ll discuss practical coping strategies and workable solutions that get down to the nitty gritty of what it takes to FEEL BETTER. All discussed with compassion, honesty, vulnerability and above all humor. Each week a celebrity guest will join them to discuss their own wellness journey including failures, frustrations, and ultimately what worked for them. By sharing real-life stories with complete candor, they aim to empower you with valuable information, the knowledge you’re not alone, we’re ALL works in progress and feeling good is the ultimate goal of anyone who’s a HOT MESS.
26
Johnny Siblly: Post-Coming Out
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey talk about the post-process of coming out with actor, content creator and star of the hit show Hacks, Johnny Sibilly. The three share openly about their personal journeys of what it meant to be living out and how important it was for them to have grace with themselves and those around them during the process.
47 min
27
Joely Fisher: Breaking the Cycle
In this episode of Hot Mess, Alec and Matt are excited to welcome actor, singer and writer of the bestselling memoir “Growing Up Fisher”, the amazing Joely Fisher for an intimate and revealing conversation about breaking the cycle. Alec and Matt first share about the cycles they are trying to break in their own lives. Joely shares openly about being “raised by wolves” by her famous Hollywood parents, the impact of the addiction, neglect, and chaos that existed in her childhood and the steps she is taking to break that cycle with her own children.
51 min
28
Heather McDonald: Relationship Dynamics
In this episode of Hot Mess, Alec and Matt are excited to welcome writer and performer from Chelsea Lately, the hilarious Heather McDonald. The three explore the good, bad and ugly of being in a long-term relationship: figuring out how to fight well, changing dynamics that aren’t working, managing through periods of no sex, making your needs known and learning to appreciate the partner you have.
44 min
29
Cynthia Lee Fontaine: Out & Proud
In this episode of Hot Mess, Alec and Matt are excited to welcome star of seasons 8 and 9 of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Cynthia Lee Fontaine, for a funny and heartfelt conversation about coming out. Alec, Matt and Cynthia open up about the impact of being in the closet, their journey coming out to themselves and to others, learning to have grace with loved-ones during the process, and the power of living as your authentic self.
43 min
30
Alec Baldwin: Cancel Culture
In this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey are beyond thrilled to welcome movie and television icon Alec Baldwin to the show. The three have a candid, personal and hilarious conversation about cancel culture. Alec Baldwin opens up about the pain he has felt after being canceled, how the press has treated him and his family, his uncensored opinions about other celebrities who have been canceled, his portrayal of Trump and why he chose to get sober in his twenties.
51 min
31
Sherry Vine: Aging
In this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey have an honest and entertaining conversation about aging with drag legend for over 30 years, Sherry Vine! The three talk about their fears of aging, the currency of youth, the agelessness of drag, the experience of being on dating apps, and how to accept and even celebrate the reality of getting older.
46 min
32
Daniel Franzese: Conversion Therapy
In this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome actor, comedian and writer best known for his starring role as Damien on Mean Girls, Daniel Franzese. Daniel talks openly about his decision to put himself into conversion therapy because he didn’t want to be gay. He explores how reconciling his deep faith with his sexuality has been a lifelong journey for him and had led him to become an advocate to other LGBTQ who struggle with their religion and sexuality.
49 min
33
Trixie Mattel: Elastic Thinking
In this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey have a deep and hilarious conversation about the healing power of elastic thinking with world famous drag queen and host of UNHhhh, Trixie Mattel. Trixie opens up about her painful, abusive childhood and how the idea of elastic thinking has helped her to accept what happened and move on to create a life she loves. Trixie shares the surprising story of where the drag persona of Trixie originated, how and why she sees Trixie as laugh yoga, and her firm belief that no matter happens to you, you have a choice to identify as a victim or a survivor.
47 min
34
Miss Coco Peru: Near Death Experiences
In this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey have an intimate conversation with drag legend Miss Coco Peru about near-death experiences. Alec and Matt share their own near-death experiences and discuss how we cope with trauma and can start to heal. Coco Peru shares the harrowing near-death experience that almost took her life and explores how ultimately it transformed how she felt about herself, her relationship with her parents, and inspired her ability to forgive, to grow and to thrive.
49 min
35
Faith Soloway: Self-identity
In this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and Psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey have an intimate and important conversation with producer and writer of Transparent, Faith Soloway. Faith shares how Transparent is both similar and different from her own father’s transition and she opens up about her own journey and the struggle she has had about whether or not she should have transitioned. Alec, Matthew and Faith talk about how to handle it when you misgender people, tolerating ambiguity, learning to say “I don’t know” and be ok with it, and accepting that these conversations about identity can be as “cloudy as they are illuminating.”
51 min
36
Lady Bunny: Loneliness
In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matt explore a subject we can all relate to right now: how to deal with loneliness. Alec and Matt welcome Icon of the drag community, Lady Bunny, who shares about her insights from dealing with feelings of loneliness during the past year (and even calls out Alec for not returning her phone call!) Alec, Matt and Lady Bunny have an open and vulnerable conversation about why we are often feeling lonely, the illusion of connection online, how to combat loneliness when we feel we are struggling and why it is so important to get in touch with our feelings of loss in order to heal.
40 min
37
Priyanka: Toxic Relationships
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey have a hilarious and candid conversation about toxic relationships with the winner of Canada’s Drag Race and Alec’s co-host of the “Official RuPaul’s Drag Race Podcast” Priyanka. Alec and Matt talk about their history with toxic relationships and Priyanka explores why she has been attracted to toxic partners, the origins of her low self-worth, how race can impact self-esteem, and why being in a healthy relationship is both so rewarding and also so uncomfortable!
47 min
38
Kalen Allen: Hustling for Self-Worth
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey talk about hustling for your self-worth with star of the Ellen Show and YouTube reactor, the hilarious Kalen Allen. Alec and Matt start the episode by sharing how they often attach their feelings of value and worth to external factors and how it can leave them feeling depleted and depressed. Kalen opens up about being a workaholic, how he felt he had to achieve to earn his mom’s love, why he ended up in the fetal position on the bathroom floor, the viral videos that landed him a role on the Ellen Show, generational trauma, toxic masculinity and the reason it is so important to him to be a role model for future young, black, queer men.
45 min
39
BenDeLaCreme: How Our Struggles Shape Us
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome drag queen performer of 18 years and star of RuPaul’s Drag Race season 6 and All Stars Season 3, BenDeLaCreme. Alec and Matt start the show by sharing their own self-judgment and mental health struggles and how reframing difficult emotions helps them to move forward. BenDeLaCreme reveals intimate details of her painful childhood including the death of her mother, being bullied and beaten-up because she was overweight and gay, and struggling with crippling depression and suicidal thoughts. DeLa shares her journey to identify her proper mental health diagnosis and treatment and the three talk openly and often hilariously throughout the show about pain, therapy, medication, growth and healing.
50 min
40
Tom Lenk: Shame Triggers
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome actor and comedian Tom Lenk and the three have a revealing conversation about shame triggers. Alec and Matt start the show by exploring the lengths they have gone to in their lives to get love and attention and they both share personal stories of feeling intense rejection and shame. Tom then honestly confronts Matt about something Matt posted online that made him feel angry, resentful and ashamed and the two have an honest, vulnerable and often hilarious conversation about the incident and what it triggered for both of them!
49 min
41
Jon Huertas: Abandonment
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome one of the stars of This Is Us, the amazing Jon Huertas. The three explore the theme of abandonment. Alec and Matt start the show by exploring the ways they struggle with abandonment issues and how it has impacted them in their lives. Jon talks candidly about being abandoned by his mother and how many of his accomplishments have been attempts to get his mom’s attention. Jon talks about being a victim of racism when growing up, getting “adultified” when he was very young, and how therapy has helped him process his emotions and have greater perspective and well-being.
53 min
42
Alaska Thunderfuck: Reality Show Backlash
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome star of RuPaul’s Drag Race, Alaska Thunderfuck. Alaska opens up about the most personal aspects of her life including her break-up with ex Sharon Needles due to drugs, infidelity and fame, the devastation she felt after her fans turned on her, feeling like an alien, and how the drag persona of Alaska was created and serves her today.
46 min
43
Mark Kanemura: Creativity
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome performer, dancer and Instagram sensation, Mark Kanemura. Alec and Matt explore why and how expressing yourself creatively contributes to your happiness. Mark opens up about how creating his online socially-distanced dance parties was a form of connection and therapy for him, his dark times as a teenager, reconnecting with his inner child, and finding joy in the simple moments of life.
49 min
44
Jake Shears: Managing Depression
On this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey have a fascinating and intensely personal conversation with the lead singer of the iconic band Scissor Sisters, Jake Shears. Jake opens up about what brought on his struggle with depression and anxiety and his decision to seek therapy and start on medication to help manage it. The three explore where they derive their self-worth from, attachments to people and things, and the pain and suffering that they’ve experience after a romantic break-up. Stay tuned for Jake’s shocking story about being molested by a ghost! This is a conversation you won’t want to miss!
49 min
45
Malin Akerman: Recovering from Childhood Trauma
On this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome talented actress from Billions and The Comeback Malin Akerman. Alec and Matthew introduce the topic of childhood trauma and Alec opens up about being raised by a rage-a-holic and learning to reparent himself. Malin shares what it was like for her growing up with a mother who suffered from depression and how that trauma has impacted her relationships and her decision to become a child development coach.
47 min
46
Fortune Feimster: Out of Alignment
On this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome comedian, writer and panelist from Chelsea Lately, Fortune Feimster. Matt and Alec share openly about what being out of alignment means to them. Alec identifies that he often defines his value too much through his work and Matt talks about not trying in the past because he was afraid of failure. Fortune opens up about the struggles of her childhood, her naturally positive outlook, how she never stops working, losing her identity during the pandemic and how she’s a homebody at heart.
47 min
47
Morgan Fairchild: Informed Wellness
On this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey welcome legendary actress from Dallas and Falcon Crest and social activist Morgan Fairchild. Morgan shares her knowledge about Covid-19 and reflects back on her experience being an outspoken advocate from the beginning of the AIDS crisis. Morgan talks openly about losing friends and work because there was so much fear and misinformation. Morgan also opens up about going from nerdy girl with coke bottles glasses to sex symbol, playing the bitch, and reveals behind-the-scenes scoop from her time working with the iconic Robin Williams.
47 min
48
Jodie Sweetin: Pandemic Stress Triggers
On this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey talk with beloved star of Full House and Fuller House, Jodie Sweetin about the triggering effects of the pandemic. Matt shares his feelings about getting Covid and almost getting canceled by the gay internet for comments he made online. Jodie opens up about how the pandemic triggered her depression and anxiety and how she stopped eating as a result. The three talk openly about their mental health, the power of surrender, and what determines your self-worth.
52 min
49
Charles Phoenix: Reinventing Yourself
On this episode of Hot Mess, Comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey talk with pop culture humorist Charles Phoenix about reinventing yourself in times of the pandemic. Charles talks about how important positivity and creativity has been to him and Matthew and Alec examine the distinction between thinking positively and toxic positivity.
44 min
50
Jonathan Lipnicki: Social Anxiety
In this episode of Hot Mess, comedian Alec Mapa and psychotherapist Matthew Dempsey talk openly with famous child actor from Jerry Maguire and Stuart Little, Jonathan Lipnicki. Jonathan opens up about his struggles with social anxiety, his need to be liked, and the pressures of child stardom. Jonathan talks about how the worst year of his life led him to the realizations that have made him stronger than ever.
41 min