Our most anticipated episode for some time has finally arrived! In this episode, we examine Eleanor's life outside of the English perspective through which she is too often seen. We mainly look at her relationship with her first husband Louis VII and her role as Duchess of Aquitaine in her own right. Is Eleanor truly great enough to sit among our VIPs to watch the final tournament? How many of our kings will she put to shame with her score? Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summ...

Louis the Fat was so much more than an unflattering nickname. He owes a lot to his chronicler and best bro Suger for building his reputation as the first truly great Capetian king. But is that a reputation he lives up to? Find out this episode... Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen! You can also support the show on: Ko-Fi, where you can buy us a coffee and contr...

King Philip the Amorous got his name for following his heart rather than his head, which of course got him into big trouble with the church. The chronicler monks (often from rival principalities) got carte-blanche to drag him through the mud more ruthlessly than Regina George could have dreamed of (Mean GIrls is required viewing for this podcast, by the way). But there was no stopping Philip, who kept France chugging along, out of the turmoil of the Dark Ages and towards brand new dange...

She may now be a symbol of friendship between France and Ukraine, but who was the real Anne of Kyiv? In 1060, the sophisticated and gentlehearted Anne of Kyiv finds herself a widowed queen in a strange land. She has a duty to rule in her son Philip's name, yet she is tempted into a potential scandal by the infamous Ralph of Crépy. Find out what becomes of this intriguing queen-regent, and what seating we give her in our final tournament. 🌻 Please help the people of Ukraine! Taking us out o...

It's been 1 year since our god-awful first episode was released, and we are once again celebrating la fête nationale, this time with guests! We've pulled out all the stops for an international panel of RexyPods (podcasts with formats inspired by Rex Factor) that are also coming up to their first birthday. The six of us hosts discuss our process when it comes to podcasting about our historical niches, from our origins as friends and hosts to the eternal battle with temperamental technology an...

While he may be King of France, our first Henry finds himself overshadowed at every turn by mighty figures in his kingdom like Odo II of Blois, Geoffrey Martel of Anjou and a young Norman duke called William the Bastard. Despite falling off a horse as many kings do, Henry to his credit got back up again. We will see him hold his own in one of the lowest points of kingly power, ensuring another long-ish reign and the continuation of his dynasty. Will we revive his reputation from the sla...

Robert the Wise is yet another of the lesser-known kings of France, however, an abundance of sources combined with a lengthy reign means that Ben has a lot to say about him! We hope that henceforth he will be known as a "sexy beast", with his statuesque build, charming personality and rather saucy marital record... Or at least that is was conclusion until we got to the burnings... Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Make sure you leave u...

Surprise!! Ben and Eliza are BACK and ready to dive into the High Middle Ages with Hugh, the first king of the Capetian Dynasty. Named for his simple white hood (capet) and known for his demure personality, he's not exactly the glorious conqueror you'd pick to be the founder of Europe's greatest dynasty. However, as we discover this episode, Hugh Capet may be more than meets the eye... Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! You can also support t...

We are delighted to be joined by historian Dr Rutger Kramer on today's special episode recapping and re-examining all the Carolingians we have ranked on the podcast, from Charles Martel to Louis V. In this episode, among plenty of other topics, we talk about what the Battle of Tours really meant to the Franks, why Charlemagne is such an anomaly in this period, and why Louis the Pious might have been robbed! Rutger's "Rethinking Authority in the Carolingian Empire: Ideas and Expectations Du...

It's a series finale (of sorts) as we encounter the last king to be a direct descendant of Charlemagne. His reign is full of intrigue and scandal, from a marriage alliance that backfires horribly to Louis pissing off the WRONG archbishop. Will these kings ever learn? We will be on a brief hiatus for the next month (May 2022), but after our Ranking Roundup this episode we are keen to hear what you think of our scores so far! Who was robbed? Who benefited from blatant favouritism? We can't wait...

Lothair has a pretty smooth time getting on the throne, but once his powerful mentors start to die off, will he be able to hold his own? In this episode, we see a particularly violent king and a particularly conniving queen... whom the bishops try to ignore as they bring the abacus back to France and tell the monks to stop wearing leggings. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a coffee and contribute to the sho...

It's been too long since we talked about a powerful queen-regent. There have been "no girls allowed" in Neustria since the notorious Queen Fredegund! But at last, Gerberga is here to break the curse and become the first (sort of) Queen-Regent of France. As a relation to several "the Greats", including Otto, Hugh and (we don't talk about) Bruno, our Gerberga was quite the catch for young King Louis IV. But will she prove interesting enough to ascend to the VIP box with Fredegund? Visit o...

After a childhood spent across the sea in England, it's time for Louis d'Outremer to show us if he learned anything from his time as Uncle Athelstan's ward... anything? Louis's reputation might not be promising, but he is far from a Do-Nothing King, and his life is a tale full of twists and turns, from a surprising amount of ambushes to a suspiciously convenient marriage to a widow. Visit our Wordpress for episode images, score summaries, contact details and more! Go to our Ko-Fi to buy us a...

Though he refused the crown, Hugh the Great remains too major to overlook in this period of French history. So, join us as we decide whether he deserves to watch our final tournament from the VIP Box. With humble clothes to hide his thirst for power, Hugh is more than meets the eye, with a third of France under his control. How does he get on with the rambunctious boy-king Louis IV? Will he ensure the continued success of the Robertian Dynasty? And do we have another misleading epithet on our...

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reind -- I mean, Frankish monarch -- never asked to be the king, but his wife Emma sure did, so when her father died she hugged Rudolph's knees and never let go. While considered a Robertian, Rudolph in fact belongs to the Bivinid branch of the Bosonid Dynasty, being the nephew of Nosebleed-Section resident Boso of Provence. Will the "glorious wolf" be a scheming trickster like his uncle, or follow in the footsteps of the humble and honourable Robertians he married...

The posthumous son and namesake of Robert the Strong was a thorn in the side of our last king, Charles the Simple. Now that he's stepped up to take on the big job, will he be able to Make France Great Again and kick out all the pesky Vikings and Germans? Get ready for a deep-dive into the Battle of Soissons in 923 CE, and what REALLY happened on the field of Charles's defeat... Also, at the end of the episode, Future Ben and Future Eliza read out the lovely Apple Podcast reviews...

Bonne Saint-Valentin! Today we are taking a brief sojourn from our Frankish kings to share three love stories from French history, from the 12th century to the modern era. Eliza will be discussing medieval lovers Héloïse and Abélard, Ben will be talking about queer artist Rosa Bonheur, and our special guest Rachel Dyer will be talking about French-American princess Betsy Patterson. Go listen to Rachel’s podcast Love is Dead for more historical heartbreaks and hot takes! Featured music: Leon...

He may be called simple, however, his reign is anything but. Sit tight as we take you on a roller coaster, from a weak little boy at the mercy of his nobles to... a weak old man at the mercy of his nobles. But it's all about the journey, not the destination, and our fourth (or third?) Charles's reign is one hell of a ride - from the murder of an archbishop to Vikings attending French classes. That's right, the NORMANS are here, and people are MAD about it! Visit our Wordpress for epis...

It's time to see if the long-awaited son of Robert the Strong turns out to be an O-do or an O-don't! And if that dad joke wasn't enough to entice you, then Eliza's excitement for this king certainly will, as she makes plans to name a goldfish after him. But of course no description of this episode would be complete without a tease of the SIEGE OF PARIS, the great Viking assault that you may have seen dramatised in the show Vikings or the game Assassins' Creed. But here you will get the ...

After decades in the background of our Carolingian series, it is time for the large-and-in-charge Emperor Charles to come to the fore and lead West Francia to ... well, greatness is a strong word. Plagued by poor health and a lack of heirs, will Charles the Fat be able to steady the sinking ship, or will he allow the Carolingian empire to shatter once and for all? Things to look forward to in this episode include a baby getting possessed by a demon, an empress undergoing a literal Trial by Fi...

By popular demand, everyone's (least) favourite clown has arrived to crash the Carolingian party! As the first non-Carolingian ruler within Charlemagne's empire and an extremely controversial figure in his time, we thought it only fitting that we cover him in a special episode. In this episode, we discuss Boso's rise to power on the coattails of his sister Richilde, who successfully seduced the ageing king Charles the Bald. We then go through how he unsuccessfully governed Italy, forcib...

Listen to our friend Roberto's podcast, History of Saqartvelo Georgia! Hot off the heels of his brother and co-ruler Louis III, will Carloman II be able to save the West Franks from the Viking menace? No? It just gets worse? Oh, dear. Prepare yourself for the most horrifying horrors of the Viking age, forcing even our scribe Archbishop Hincmar to flee his church as the Annals of St Bertin come to their climactic end. Stay tuned also for our quiz at the end of the episode! Let us know if yo...

The Carolingian family tree is starting to shrivel up, but Louis III is a spot of light in the darkness, known for his famous battles against the Vikings. Louis wins the battle, but can he win the war? How will he go with sharing power with his brother Carloman II? And when will Boso go away and stop annoying everyone? But perhaps the most interesting question about Louis III is... He died HOW? Message us your thoughts! Support the show ⚜️ Battle Royale's intro/outro music is "Dansez" by Fas...

It's time for Louis 2: Electric Booga- Oh, wait, his reign's already over? Thankfully, Louis the Stammerer is no Merovingian, so we have bountiful evidence of what he was doing throughout his short and rather chaotic life. From facing down Robert the Strong at the mere age of 12 to having to make small talk with Pope John VIII at the Council of Troyes, Louis's life is full of awkward moments that would be bad enough without a speech impediment. Flock to social media and let us know what...

The most wonderful time of the year was made even more wonderful by our first ever guests, Bry and Fry of the Pontifacts podcast, who rate all of the popes from Peter to Francis. Complemented as ever by the splendid humour of Fry and Eliza, Bry and Ben recount the tales of the five patron saints of France who have been woven into our story so far: Saint Petronilla, Saint Denis, Saint Martin, Saint Remy and Saint Radegund. This is definitely not your average Christmas episode! We've go...