Kill Every Monster
Dungeons & Dragons is many things to many people, but it was designed to be a game about killing monsters. We examine the lore and mechanics of each creature and ask a central question: are they really a monster?
Co-hosts Dylan and Aram are joined by a guest for a DM-deep-dive into a classic D&D monster. The first part is a discussion, and the second is a one-shot Actual Play where our guest takes on the role of the monster.
Each episode of Kill Every Monster is a contained story, so you never have to worry about being caught up or listening out of order.
1
Does It Murder? Season 3
As is our tradition with each batch of creatures, Dylan and Aram run through all the monsters from season 3 and debate if they would do a murder.
25 min
2
Dinosaurs
The Monster Manual describes Dinosaurs as “behemoths that are among the oldest reptiles in the world. Predatory dinosaurs are savage, territorial hunters. Herbivorous dinosaurs are less aggressive, but they might attack to defend their young, or if startled or harassed.
94 min
3
Mephit
The Monster Manual describes Mephits as “capricious, imp-like creatures native to the elemental planes. They come in six varieties, each one representing the mixture of two elements.”
83 min
4
People
The Monster Manual does not describe people, despite them being the most common enemy your players will face.
100 min
5
Welcome to Replay and DIE RPG
Twenty years ago, we played a game. We recorded that game and shared it over the airwaves of our high school radio station, WKEY AM 1360. People listened. So did other things. Twenty years later, we were invited to play a live reunion show for the hardcore fans. Little did we know, this time the game was real.
14 min
6
Modron
The Monster manual describes Modrons as “beings of absolute law that adhere to a hive-like hierarchy. They inhabit the plane of Mechanus and tend its eternally revolving gears, their existence a clockwork routine of perfect order.”
75 min
7
Qilin
Monsters of the Multiverse describes Qilin as “noble, celestial creatures. In the Outer Planes, Qilin in service to benevolent deities take a direct role in the eternal struggle between good and evil. In the mortal world, Qilin are celebrated far and wide as harbingers of destiny, guardians of the sacred, and counterbalances to the forces of evil.
76 min
8
Bonus - Planet Unicorn
Aram is joined by his niece as she tells him when unicorns come from
9 min
9
Tarrasque (Part 2)
The Monster Manual describes the Tarrasque as a “fifty feet tall and seventy feet long behemoth, weighing hundreds of tons. It carries itself like a bird of prey, leaning forward and using its powerful lashing tail for balance. Its cavernous maw yawns wide enough to swallow all but the largest creatures, and so great is its hunger that it can devour the populations of whole towns.”
43 min
10
Tarrasque (Part 1)
The Monster Manual describes the Tarrasque as a “fifty feet tall and seventy feet long behemoth, weighing hundreds of tons. It carries itself like a bird of prey, leaning forward and using its powerful lashing tail for balance. Its cavernous maw yawns wide enough to swallow all but the largest creatures, and so great is its hunger that it can devour the populations of whole towns.”
75 min
11
Medusa
Medusa are described in the Monster Manual as “victims of a terrible curse, the serpent-haired medusa petrifies all those who gaze upon it, turning creatures into stone monuments to its corruption.”
85 min
12
Blink Dog
The Monster Manual states that “blink dogs take their name from their ability to blink in and out of existence, a talent they use to aid their attacks and to avoid harm.
90 min
13
Black Dragon (Part 2)
Black Dragons are described in the Monster Manual as creatures who “loathe seeing the weak prosper and revel in the collapse of humanoid kingdoms. They make their homes in fetid swamps and crumbling ruins where kingdoms once stood.”
38 min
14
Black Dragon (Part 1)
Black Dragons are described in the Monster Manual as creatures who “loathe seeing the weak prosper and revel in the collapse of humanoid kingdoms. They make their homes in fetid swamps and crumbling ruins where kingdoms once stood”
80 min
15
Will-o-Wisp
Will-o’-wisps are described in the Monster Manual as as “malevolent, wispy balls of light that haunt lonely places and battlefields, bound by dark fate or dark magic to feed on fear and despair.”
93 min
16
Gengar
The Pokédex describes Gengar as “mean-spirited creatures that enjoy tormenting people, hurting them and overtaking them. They are most active during full moons, creeping out in the dead of night and disguising themselves as shadows.”
92 min
17
Pixie
Pixies are described in the Monster Manual as “standing barely a foot tall and resembling diminutive elves with gossamer wings like those of dragonflies or butterflies, bright as the clear dawn and as luminous as the full moonrise.
99 min
18
Does It Murder? Season 2
For our Season 2 round-up episode, we revisit Dylan's idea to go through each monster and debate if they would Do A Murder.
32 min
19
Roc
The Monster Manual describes Rocs as huge beasts with “wingspans that spread two hundred feet or more. At rest, perched upon the mountain peaks that are its home, this monstrous bird rivals even the oldest dragons in size.”
85 min
20
Season 2 Mailbag
Dylan and Aram answer another round of questions from our listeners! Who were Aram's favorite NPCs? What monster did the show turn us around on? What will Dylan do when forced to say nice things about Aram?
44 min
21
Kappa
The Kappa is often described as a “child-sized fey being, resembling a humanoid turtle. They have a powerful beak and a head of thin, wiry hair lining an indentation in the skull roof, which holds a pool of water. This pool on top of the kappa's head is sometimes regarded as the source of a kappa's supposed mystical powers.”
77 min
22
Podspeak 001: The Invasion
Aram and Dylan introduce Podspeak and dive right into the first Animorphs book; The Invasion. We talk about first impressions, the angst of being a teenager, and the horrors of morphing.
39 min
23
Myconids
The Monster Manual states that “Myconids are intelligent, ambulatory fungi that live in the Underdark, seek enlightenment, and deplore violence. If approached peacefully, myconids gladly provide shelter or allow safe passage through their colonies.”
84 min
24
Mind Flayer
The Monster Manual describes Mind Flayers as “the scourge of sentient creatures across countless worlds. Psionic tyrants, slavers, and interdimensional voyagers, they are insidious masterminds that harvest entire races for their own twisted ends. Four tentacles snake from their octopus-like heads, flexing in hungry anticipation when sentient creatures come near.”
101 min
25
Shambling Mound (Part 2)
Shambling Mounds are described in the Monster Manual as creatures that “are sometimes called shamblers, trudging ponderously through bleak swamps, dismal marshes, and rain forests, consuming any organic matter in their path."
43 min