What does the size of your lei say about you? Is it really "equality" if you don't offer equal opportunity? When is it justifiable to smash the fins out of a stranger's board? Does Raimana's throat hurt after all that screaming? And what is the proper pronunciation for Teahupo'o? #TrustInWe! Plus Barrel or Nah?

Hey all, David here just checking in to regretfully inform you that our whole house is down with Covid! It's a mild case. Everyone is already in recovery, but podcast production was interrupted by it. It looks like we should be back in full swing next week. We did publish an episode of Surf Splendor, so go grab that. Sorry to miss you. Much to discuss but we'll cover it all next week. Until then, Bon Voyage!

In today's episode Chas embarks on a brand new quest to find nymphomaniacal Russian sex bots, while David seeks to uncover SoCal's surf-adjacent youth whom devote their life wholly to the skim. Rob Machado daringly pulls back his van curtains, the WSL uses their radical growth to cancel more events, and Erin Brooks makes the final of the all male Padang Cup. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

Live from Oklahoma City, Chas is midway through an epic quest across this great nation to find mythical non-surfing World Surf League fan! Successes and disasters have been many, but spirits are buoyed by last night's text from WSL CEO, and Oklahoma City's own, Elo who provided ardent back pats and new direction. Chas recounts his journey and outlines his next leg. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show David and Chas abandon childhood dreams of ever surfing Maalaea, advise on how to prevent the erosion of civilization, marvel at Kelly's memory and his sentimentality, celebrate Kai Lenny's new role as Robin, and Chas recovers from being punched by the algorithm after coming out as a biathlete. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy.

Author Daniel Duane joins us to discuss his new podcast series, "Reunion: Shark Attacks in Paradise" and the bizarre peculiarities of those tragedies. Chas and David then discuss JBay, Laird dethroning Kelly, the grumpiest La Jolla locals, and why a full ass is always better than half-assed. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's episode Kelly hoots a 14 year old into the wave of his life only to get burned by a now famous kook, ELO accidentally confesses his true thoughts about female CT'rs at Pipe, Zeke Lau gets punched out on the South Shore, and Johnny Boy reminds us all of the time he punched Jodie Cooper and then unrelentingly harassed her for two years. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

Today's show is packed with illustrious guests. First, Sports Illustrated writer Brandon Sneed joins us to discuss the insights gleaned from spending two weeks with Kelly and Kalani, then Matt Parker sits in to discuss the perfect "bridge" board before David and Chas banish them all to recap Rio, celebrate Papa Lynch, bid Bon Voyage to Pride month, and outline proper airplane neighbor etiquette. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show Jack Robinson announces his transition into identifying as Brazilian, Griff dodges death threats from Filipe fans, the WSL co-signs Kelly's lifelong nose-thumbing of Brazil, desecration through defecation of surf shops is on the rise, and Raglan Surf Report's Luke Cederman joins David and Chas for Barrel or Nah? Enjoy!

Florida Surf Film Fest co-founder Kevin Miller joins David and Chas to discuss the yin and yang of Gerry Lopez, the birth of the Endless Summer, how Kelly's 11 titles led to JJF's torn MCL, the creepy new surf cam causing backlash in Victoria, and they offer relationship advice as only three men with a combined seven marriages can. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show Chas Zooms in from an undisclosed European island to discuss the importance of self pampering before embarking on a new career path to become a lifeguard. The boys then celebrate ELO's dethroning of George Clooney, identify the perfect surf attire, marvel that the world's great boat captain operates a water taxi, and explain why you ought never take a bubble bath. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In this week's episode Chas makes major amends to many aggrieved listeners while deviating even further from grittiness, gets ghosted by and lambasts Sasha Jane, identifies the German tibia as the most reliable standard to measure waves, and considers Pilates to help bolster the next phase of his ballet/surf evolution. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show Chas and David delve into the sultry world of ASMR, Chas faces the harsh backlash from a recently censored BG article, JJF attempts to dethrone Nic Cage in his greatest role, and Kook or Curren makes a triumphant return. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show David and Chas discover that everything is waves and attempt to air-rev over the Vortex of Negativity, Kelly Slater traumatizes a couple of Aussie podcast hosts, Mama Medina airs more dirty laundry on a Brazilian talk show, Keala Kennelly raises her hand for equality and gets smacked by meritocracy, and the boys preach to stay in school. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In a first ever effort, Chas and David avoid any negative notions and blast beams of positivity as they celebrate the Margaret River Pro, laud the successes of Make or Break, celebrate Devon Howard's career transition, and discuss which elite surfers rose above the Wright noise. Burn some sage. The podcast shall be cleansed. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's episode Chas does a deep review of Make or Break's first half of the season, David ponder's Caroline Marks' disappearance, they both celebrate the return of Gabriel Medina, pray Luke Cedarman hasn't peaked, and Elon Musk fires a devastating shot at our 11x champ. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show David and Chas find a new billionaire philanthropist to prop up professional surfing, ELO gets boo'd off stage at a podcast, Italo steps into the role of reality TV stardom, Ziff gets kicked out of a braai by Elon, and a local homicide detective purges the horrors of the job through refuge in the sea. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

Huge news breaking from Australia where CT surfers are threatening to boycott Margaret River. In today's show Chas and David discuss the petition they sent to the WSL, ELO's official response, and why the employees and surfers have lost confidence in their leadership. Plus Kanoa punches himself in the face and guides Chas through modern hand gestures to use when having your photograph taken. Enjoy!

In today's show David and Chas explain how Brazilian supermodels have upended the Brazilian storm, analyze who would win in a Putin vs Slater grapple match, identify marijuana as a performance enhancer for longboarding, and explain why Kanoa shirked his US identity for a far greater nation's. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

In today's show Chas explains what it feels like to be slapped like Chris Rock and why Kelly looked like he was wearing his dad's tux to the Oscars. David then unveils Vans connection to the Illuminati and how the surf community is the first to identify Karenism as mental illness. And we hear the radical tale of Shroad & The Ripper. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

The greatest gift of our time has landed in our inbox and we're thrilled to share with you herein. Enjoy! Plus, Chas and David get philosophical and practical about transgender athletes, Hannah calls in with some Tour insights, Cruz Dinofa suffers a Sampson-esque felling, and the boys explain why you ought never identify as a foodie. Plus Barrel or Nah?!

Chas and David catch up after this week's listener get-together/book reading. We reveal Devon Howard's take on the Joel Tudor suspension, Kai Lenny models his career on Kenny G, Parker Coffin's surf career surpasses his 'CTing brother, Matt Banting gets stiffed from a sponsor, and the boys explain why you should never let your spouse shave your back. Plus Barrel or Nah? Enjoy!

Chas is back stateside and ready to unpack current World Champ Joel Tudor's suspension from the WSL and the reason he should have a Blood Feud heat against Dane Reynolds at Lowers, the equitability of Kai's relationship with Zuck, Parko mud wrestling a semi-adult TikTok'r, and Chas' foot fetish shifts from Gabriel to Kelly. Plus Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!

Chas is in Mexico and the WIFI has thwarted our best efforts. Have a listen and then tune back in on Monday for the full episode.

In today's show Chas fesses up to a dark fetish and a penchant for Gabriel's back foot, a former World Champ offers to sponsor our show, one of our four female listeners steps forward from the shadows, and Parko finds out why nice guys finish last. Plush Barrel or Nah?! Enjoy!