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New York Magazine's Sex Lives
A weekly podcast about sex, lust, dating, technology, coupling, porn, fetish and freakiness. But mostly sex. With New York Magazine’s sex columnist Maureen O’Connor.
Society & Culture
Health
1
Diary of a Sex Coach
Myisha Battle learned about sex from textbooks censored with Sharpie markers. Today, she's a San Francisco-based sex coach dedicated to helping other women orgasm— and to squirt.
34 min
2
Accio Jizzrag! All About Harry Potter Erotica
In the horny imaginations of Harry Potter super-fans, Professor Snape is a BDSM sex god and Hermione Granger is a squirter.
25 min
3
Dan Savage's Sex Life
He's been telling Americans how to fuck for 26 years, and he's still not done.
51 min
4
All the Feels About Gay Weddings
Gay marriage has moved to the mainstream, but has wedding culture followed? What parts of wedding culture are worth keeping, anyway?
28 min
5
Why Dating Is So Damn Awkward
Ty Tashiro, psychologist and author of Awkward: The Science of Why We’re Socially Awkward and Why That’s Awesome, explains why steeling yourself and weathering the first five minutes of awkwardness is usually worth it.
33 min
6
How to Be Married
Jo Piazza was working as a travel editor when she met a man, married him— and spent the next year traveling to dozens of countries together, asking how marriage works in each place.
26 min
7
The Dangers of a Too-Clean Dick
A listener calls Sex Lives with a harrowing story about accidentally destroying her husband's penis with Lysol.
24 min
8
Botox for Buttholes
Yes, it's a thing. Brian J. Moylan reports from the wild world of cosmetic procedures for male sex organs, starting with the time he cryonically froze his penis.
28 min
9
Is it OK to Take an Uber While Giving Birth?
E.J. Dickson, who last visited Sex Lives while pregnant, returns with her two-month-old baby in tow. She recounts taking an Uber to the hospital while her water was breaking, and feeling her uterus lifted out of her body. Motherhood is wild.
28 min
10
The Dating Tour of America
Where is the best place in America to fall in love? When Cosmopolitan asked Jada Yuan to find out, she flew to six wildly different locales to look for love in every damn place. She came away exhausted—and more optimistic than ever.
42 min
11
HERPES!!!
Ella Dawson has herpes, and talking about it is sort of her thing. Ella gets real about dating with herpes, enjoying unprotected sex, and getting her sexual education from Harry Potter fan fiction.
31 min
12
She Quit Law School to Write Erotica
Rachel Kramer-Bussel was a law student in the late '90s when an erotic fantasy about Monica Lewinsky changed her life— by inspiring her to drop everything and pursue a career in erotic literature.
23 min
13
Virtual Reality Porn Is Killing Boners
Host Maureen O'Connor tries VR porn for the first time and is horrified. She's not the only one— the technical demands of the new medium has male performers struggling to stay turned on, too.
26 min
14
The Facebook of Sex
To balance the myths of hardcore porn with reality, Cindy Gallop founded Make Love Not Porn, a video sharing network that is "pro-sex, pro-porn, pro-knowing the difference."
30 min
15
The Invention of Safe Sex
David France revisits the hope and heartbreak of his youth during the AIDS crisis— and offers lessons from his generation’s hard-won victories.
36 min
16
How to Flirt on Snapchat (and Every Other App)
"You can't play it cool on Snapchat," says Priscilla Pine. And that's why it's the best for flirting.
22 min
17
What It's Like to Be 'a Little Bit Pregnant'
"I think it's a myth that you can't be a little bit pregnant because I've been a little bit pregnant for about six years," says Andrea Syrtash, founder of the Pregnantish.com.
16 min
18
Whither the Lesbian?
L is the first letter of LGBTQ, but often remains misrepresented and on the fringe. This week, two generations of queer women discuss the state of the modern lesbian.
42 min
19
A Sloppy Night with Mike Pence
To honor the presidential inauguration, Sex Lives assembles a panel of politically thoughtful (and sexually perverse) minds to reflect on the sexual absurdity of Donald Trump and modern politics.
19 min
20
Cannibals and Quicksand
Sure, you're cool with run-of-the-mill porn— but what about cannibal porn? Quicksand porn? Why does that stuff exist, anyway?
22 min
21
Red State, Blue State, Gay Twins
Scott and Julie Rising have been leading parallel lives since birth. Each came out as gay after leaving Alaska.
21 min
22
Father, Son, and a Holy Reckoning
A preacher talks to his gay atheist son.
42 min
23
The Most Wonderful Episode of the Year
Every week, Sex Lives invites listeners to respond with their stories. This week, we listen— and call you back.
34 min
24
Sex and the Single 42-Year-Old Woman
At 40, Glynnis MacNicol realized she didn't want to be a mother, and didn't need a partner. And then she discovered newly exhilarating sexual and romantic freedom.
35 min
25
Hardcore Porn and the Pregnant Woman
E.J. Dickson discusses her new career, her new boobs, pregnant masturbation, and fighting strangers who don't give her a seat on the subway.
24 min
26
How Do You Know It's Real?
Andrea Silenzi, host of "Why Oh Why," discusses honesty, deception, memoir, heartbreak, and why Donald Trump ruined her orgasms.
22 min
27
Gay Son of a Preacher Man, and His Gender-Bendi...
Christopher Trout, Engadget's executive editor, returns to Sex Lives to discuss family, fertility, why discovering his sexuality meant losing his faith, and how he found peace inside a porn star's anus.
32 min
28
Take a Look at My Vag
Mona Chalabi first saw her vulva while peering into a hand mirror at a labiaplasty surgeon's office; thanks to filmmaker Mae Ryan—the other half of The Guardian’s “Vagina Dispatches” docs-series team—we get to see Mona seeing it, too.
53 min
29
Testing a Male Sex Doll
Could you tell a $10,000 fake penis from the real thing? Karley Sciortino couldn't.
30 min
30
You Don't Know Dick
You Don't Know Dick
33 min
31
The Cold, Denying Bitch's Guide to Texting
Former Sex Lives co-host Allison P. Davis— now a staff writer at The Ringer— returns to deliver a master class on manipulating love interests by text message.
33 min
32
The Grossest Things We Ate For Love
Sex Lives visits downtown restaurant New York Sushi Ko to snack on sea urchin and discuss the perils of— and secret tricks for— dining with dates.
29 min
33
Eddie Huang's Sex Life
Eddie invited Sex Lives into his Brooklyn apartment for a discussion of race, sex, love, death, learning about masturbation from Ghostface Killah.
52 min
34
Nobody Needs a Magnum Condom
Ok, maybe a few guys, but most of you are lying to yourselves, says Dr. Emily Morse.
27 min
35
Can Masturbation Be a Radical Act?
Dr. Chris Donaghue explains how to radicalize your masturbatory life and why he's so over meeting hookups at bars.
28 min
36
Is Sex Better When You Own a House?
New York sex writer Alana Massey felt a little crazy when she bought a house without a family to put in it. During a visit back to the city, she ruminated on the romance of real estate.
30 min
37
Are the French Better at Sex?
French GQ sex columnist Maia Mazaurette was Paris's answer to Carrie Bradshaw - until she came to New York, joined Tinder, and fell in love with an American.
39 min
38
Can I Sleep with My BFF's Ex?
Can I Sleep with My BFF's Ex?
40 min
39
How Celebrities Fake Love
Gossip columnist Rob Shuter - who oversaw J.Lo and Jessica Simpson at their peaks - talks celebrity penis size, Kim Kardashian body hair, and what on earth is Bieber's game? With Maureen O'Connor.
42 min
40
Dating Sucked. Then She Tried Women.
In her mid-twenties, Katie Heaney wrote "Never Have I Ever: My Life (So Far) Without a Date." Today, Katie is in a serious relationship - with a woman.
31 min
41
The Couple That Shares a Toothbrush
To bid farewell to her co-host David Wallace-Wells, Maureen interrogates his wife Risa Needleman about his-and-hers manbuns and much, much more.
36 min
42
Who's Afraid of Sex Toys?
Jennifer Kaplan and Lindsey Rupp, hosts of Bloomberg's Material World podcast, give a guided tour of America's $15 billion sex toy industry-- and gender politics, free-speech battles, and consumer choices that shape it. With Maureen O'Connor.
27 min
43
Are You a Grower or Show-er in Love?
Men who grow better with age, how "benching" became the new "ghosting," and the wisdom (or cruelty) of romantic holding patterns.
32 min
44
Is Billary the Greatest Romance of Our Times?
Recording from Phildelphia during the DNC, New York Magazine's Rembert Browne joins Maureen O'Connor for a discussion of political romance.
34 min
45
Can You Ask Your Gynecologist on a Date?
Vogue sex columnist Karley Sciortino argues that, in the age of Tinder, hitting on strangers at bars is crazier than an internet-enhanced hookup.
44 min
46
Is Dating in New York Actually That Bad?
Science of Us's Drake Baer explains a series of scientific studies that calculate what makes a dating market good or painful, and how they explain why dating in New York is so wretched.
35 min
47
The Hamptons Had an Orgy
A special report from a $400-per-couple Hamptons sex party marketed to "the world's sexual elite."
33 min
48
A Quick Programming Note!
A quick update on this week's show.
0 min
49
The Sexual Self-Inventory
Is sex quantifiable? What counts as sex, and why do we feel so compelled to count it, anyway?
38 min
50
Porn for the Blind
It's real, real weird, and pretty amazing.
40 min
51
The Woman Who Invented Dating
We interview Moira Weigel, the author of "Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating," about how crazily recent - and purely American - the whole idea of dating is.
28 min
52
The Case for Arranged Marriage
Is the most rational approach to marriage an arrangement?
40 min
53
The Best Lay in New York Lives in the Trump Tower
Or so says Amy Rose Spiegel, who discusses her sexual memoir, Action: A Book About Sex, as well as slut phases, trampages, and which founding father she'd most like to fuck.
38 min
54
Dating While Semi-Famous And/Or Black
This week, a live episode, taped as part of the Vulture festival, in which we go deep into the dating and sex life of Phoebe Robinson of 2 Dope Queens.
32 min
55
Falling in Love With Your Anonymous Sperm Donor
This week, we interview the sex- and romance-writer Alyssa Shelasky, maven of New York Magazine’s hugely popular sex diaries.
36 min
56
Does She Have to Orgasm Every Time?
It's the ultimate sign of straight masculinity: the ability to get a woman off. So what happens when he fails?
32 min
57
Is My Love Life Ruining My Social Life?
Should your boyfriend be your best friend? Are you more popular single, or coupled? Is your social life preventing you from settling down?
37 min
58
How You Choreograph an Awkward Circle Jerk
We talk to feature film directors Joey Kuhn and Pamela Romanowsky about all the weirdness of directing sex scenes.
44 min
59
That Time I Dreamt I Blew My Dad
This week, everything you ever wanted to know about sex dreams.
35 min
60
Consider the Handjob
Giving the world's least-respected sex act something like its proper due.
29 min
61
What's the Shittiest Part About Breaking Up?
Should you be able to register a breakup, like a wedding? Who keeps the friends? Who keeps the cat?
29 min
62
Using Tinder in the Third Trimester
Anna Davies got pregnant during a foreign fling, which is just the beginning of her Tinder-happy version of "Eat, Pray, Love."
24 min
63
Goodbye, Allison; Hello, Dick Picks!
This week we bid a tearful adieu to co-host Allison Davis, which we do mostly by talking about dong shots
29 min
64
How Loud Is Unusually Loud?
This week, we talk to data guru Mona Chalabi about just how much noise people actually make during sex, and much more.
34 min
65
What Can't Period Sex Tell You About Someone's ...
Carolyn Yates joins us to talk about Autostraddle's massive recent data analysis, which found period sex to be "the ultimate lesbian sexual indicator," among many other things.
25 min
66
Is Clean Sex Possible (or Desirable)?
This week we grill cleanup icon Jolie Kerr (of “Ask a Clean Person”) about how to wash a sex toy, launder semen stains, slyly coverup an accident in bed, and lots more.
36 min
67
How a Break-Up Can Ruin You
This week, Stanford psychologist Lauren Howe explains why some people take break-ups brutally and others really blithely.
25 min
68
Our Sex Robot Future (And How One Man Used It T...
Chris Trout has seen the future of sex and it is... trippy.
43 min
69
Can Balls Be Beautiful?
We debate the question at length with Brian Sloan, the veteran of the World’s Most Beautiful Vagina Contest who recently ran a much less attractive sequel with balls.
27 min
70
A New Emoji for Butt Play
Amber Rose invented an emoji protocol for discussing butt play-- but is Kanye's relentless slut-shaming of his ex reason enough for her to butt-shame him?
29 min
71
Where (and When) Is It OK to Jerk Off In Public?
Also, why are we so much more comfortable with public sex than public masturbation?
32 min
72
THE INCREDIBLE RISE OF INCEST PORN
Last year, over the holidays, the number of searches for incest-themed videos on Pornhub and its competitors spiked dramatically, hundreds of percent in a single month, and only continued to grow all through 2015.
25 min
73
A Sex Ed Curriculum Built Out of Porn
This week we talk with Tristan Taormino about just what kids learn from PornHub—and how some sexually-explicit (and maybe even hot) video could make its way into American classrooms.
31 min
74
Your Penis is Disgusting
This week, a deep-dive into dirty voicemails (and return to racism in sexual preference, among other long-time obsessions). With Allison P. Davis and Maureen O'Connor.
27 min
75
Finally Paying Attention to Vagina Size
This week, a long talk with Kevin Allison, host of the expansive sex-heavy storytelling podcast Risk, about kink, the retreating horizon of outre sex, and whether having a thing for Asian guys is ok. Also, a new study suggests evolutionary biologists...
33 min
76
Everything You Ever Wanted to Ask An Online Dat...
This week, we interview, at length, Lisa Hoehn—actually a genuine and full-time professional Tinder Cyrano. We also discuss a new paper arguing that women like being sexually objectified, so long as its by loving partners. Which is a finding...
33 min
77
Guys We F*****d
This week we interview podcast superstars Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson about their project to interview all the men they’ve slept with, High Fidelity style. We also talk about the people using airbnb as a hook-up app (and whether...
29 min
78
What Drives Someone to Castration?
This week, we talk to Alexa Tsoulis-Reay, who's spent the last year interviewing men who've castrated themselves to "cure" their "sex addiction," women in relationships with their fathers, men in love with horses, and many other human outliers for her...
30 min
79
Orgasmic Childbirth Is A Thing
And we go super deep on it, talking at length with Debra Pascali-Bonaro, who made a whole documentary about it (you may never forget these clips). We also speak about orgasms that make you deaf, with Sophie Saint Thomas, who speaks from experience,...
25 min
80
Whatever Happened to the 69?
It's the closest you can get to an orgy with just two people-- but has 69ing gone out of style? Also up for discussion: the joys of lazy sex, the terrors of vagina-spanking, controversial views on lubricants, and the most psychotic...
27 min
81
How to Make Me Come Again
We’re joined by “Sylvia,” the anonymous creator of the blog “How to Make Me Come,” which is now a podcast as well. She tells us about the impetus to create an online compendium of real women sharing exact instructions for...
26 min
82
How to Be Popular at an Orgy
You know that thing when you go to a party and nobody talks to you? The same can happen at orgies. Special guest Anna Pulley explains the agony of awkward orgy-going and how to troubleshoot it. Meanwhile, a new 3-D sex movie features a history-making...
24 min
83
All Pickup Artists Are Now Male Feminists
Now that Neil Strauss and Tucker Max have found feminism (and grappled with sex addiction) is the age of pickup artistry dead? Or are gender, sex, and love dead -- as a new generation of agender, asexual, and aromantic college activists argue? And...
30 min
84
HOT DOG VS. EGGPLANT VS. WHALE-BONE DILDO
Will anything ever unseat the eggplant emoji as the ideal cartoon dong? And with all the R&D money at emoji HQ, can’t they do better than a taco for vagina? We also talk about Nantucket’s amazing history of whaling-industry-era dildos...
27 min
85
Why Rihanna Gets Depressed After Sex
This week, we talk about the odd phenomenon of men trying to re-stretch their circumcised foreskins, whether post-sex blues says more about the fucking or more about you (it’s you!) and about how millenials (including Allison!) aggressively edit...
24 min
86
Why Do I Still Fantasize About My First Boyfriend?
This week, Maureen offers what she swears is the absolute last and final word on dating apps (her mantra: the tech doesn’t matter, just the people). We also discuss a new study about the way in which sexual types may be the result of early...
22 min
87
Peak Sexual Satisfaction
Is dating a lopsided numbers game in which women are screwed? We talk to Jon Birger, author of Dateonomics (who says, yes, totally). We also debate when in a relationship the sex is best (wondering why it takes people so long to figure out how to fuck...
29 min
88
Is Absolutely Everyone Sexually Frustrated?
In this episode, we go long with Sex Myth author Rachel Hills, who argues that sex-soaked culture has given us sexual standards that literally no one’s sex life matches up with. With Maureen O’Connor and David Wallace-Wells.  
26 min
89
What Can’t the Pullout Method Do?
Is monogamy over? A new Time magazine story says it should be, and we wonder just how much influence Dan Savage has had on our sex lives. We also discuss the (reliable) glories of the pull-out method, and how relationships change birth-control...
23 min
90
The Cultural History of the Bionic Dong
When is the best season for boning? We debate the essay “Towards a Theory of Fall Fuckability" by Jamie Lauren Keiles. Also: a new study says the ideal dick for women is only barely bigger than average (Maureen and Allison disagree). And: we...
25 min
91
How to Make Me Come
This week, we go long on sexual stamina—how long is too long, how long is just right, and when did we start taking an egg-timer to bed? The answer: very recently! You know, about the time men started actually caring about women’s pleasure....
26 min
92
ALL RELATIONSHIPS LEAD TO ANAL
How did Ashley Madison build a billion-dollar casual-sex site without actually arranging any actual casual sex? We discuss the company’s insane fembot army and the pathetic gullibility of 22 million male users. Also: a new study says people in...
22 min
93
The World’s Most Beautiful Vagina
A new “study” of sext-selfies makes the case that prettiness comes in all shapes and sizes (so long as the selfie, and the vagina, are well-lit). But how much can we trust this study, and how gross do we feel talking about ranking...
28 min
94
Why, When, and How Straight Men Have Sex With E...
Maybe they’re not actually straight? We discuss a new book on the historyof clandestine same-sex coupling and a new dating-app-alarmism classic,“Tinder and the Dating Apocalypse.” With Maureen O’Connor, Rich Juzwiak,Jesse...
27 min
95
The Secret History of the Glory Hole
It include one with multiple holes in a single wall!
27 min
96
What Makes a Penis Beautiful?
A team of scientists have determined universal penis beauty standards-- but do we agree with their findings? A heated debate about grooming, size, and male locker room culture follows. We also discuss a new study about race and online dating, and...
28 min
97
Could You Date in the Nude?
This week: First you fall in love, then you get naked-- but what if it was the other way around? Maureen learns how nudists flirt, and Allison interviews the stars of her favorite TV show, Dating Naked. Plus, a visit to the Hooters of dicks. With...
31 min
98
FMK: Carrie Bradshaw, Candace Bushnell, Philip ...
This week: How embarrassing is it to still love Sex and the City? Maureen interviews Candace Bushnell about her new book, which is sort of about her wanting to murder Sarah Jessica Parker (also about the weird way she identifies with Nathan...
30 min
99
Test-Driving the Vibrator of the Future
It grips into place. And that's a good thing.
27 min
100
The Politics of Where You Come
But really, where should we...?
20 min
101
New York Magazine’s Sex Lives: All Hail Female ...
This week: What does it mean to make a boner pill for women? We'll solve the problem of the low libido, right after we figure out whether it’s actually a problem or not (with help from Melissa Dahl of the Science of Us). Also: People who post on...
23 min
102
Is Tinder Giving You Herpes?
Is Tinder Giving You Herpes?
20 min
103
We Put Dr. Ruth on the Couch
We Put Dr. Ruth on the Couch
19 min
104
Introducing the Threesome Matchmaker
Introducing the Threesome Matchmaker
20 min
105
Best Picture Edition
Best Picture Edition
22 min
106
Ep. 07: Does Guernica Turn You On?
Does Guernica Turn You On?
33 min
107
Ep. 06: Hitting the Dick Gym
Hitting the Dick Gym
25 min
108
Ep. 05: Eggplant Emoji Edition
Ep. 05: Eggplant Emoji Edition
31 min
109
Ep. 04: How Loud Is Too Loud?
Ep. 04: How Loud Is Too Loud?
30 min
110
Ep. 03: Dick2Bomb Edition
Ep.03: Dick2Bomb Edition
18 min
111
Ep. 01: Into the Sex Box
Ep. 01: Into the Sex Box
16 min
112
Ep. 02: The Art of the Thirst Trap
Ep. 02: The Art of the Thirst Trap
21 min
113
Coming soon...Sex Lives
Coming soon...Sex Lives
0 min