Sunday School Dropouts
An ex-Christian (Lauren O’Neal) and a nonbelieving sort-of Jew (Niko Bakulich) read the entire Bible, cover to cover, so you don’t have to. If you’ve ever been curious about what’s actually in the bestselling book in history but never found the time to read it, we’ve got you covered. Sunday School Dropouts is kind of like Mystery Science Theater 3000 for the Bible, or like listening to a recap of your favorite show, if your favorite show was about polygamous shepherds on very strict diets. The weird, the wacky, the wonderful—we’ll clue you in on everything they didn’t teach you in Sunday school.
51
Ephesians
Lauren and Niko discuss holy armor, salty babies, “mutual submission,” and everything else in the epistle to the Ephesians. Plus: a new segment called Pop Theology, and a quiz about famous Pauls. The music in this episode is the album Moon and Sun by E...
72 min
52
Acts of Paul and Thecla
Niko and Lauren discuss sexual sublimation, milk necks, wild beasts, and everything else in the apocryphal Acts of Paul and Thecla, which the church doesn’t want you to read! Plus: women be baptizing, and seals!
67 min
53
Galatians
Lauren and Niko discuss barely literate scribes, psychosexual nightmares, WWPD, and everything else in Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians. Plus: Wow. What a surprise. Circumcision.
54 min
54
Infancy Gospel of Thomas
Niko and Lauren discuss Jesus’s first murder, whether Jesus can really read, The Twilight Zone, and everything else in the apocryphal Infancy Gospel of Thomas. Plus: our secret heist, and Joseph’s not my real dad!
54 min
55
Infancy Gospel of James
Lauren and Niko discuss the Virgin Mary’s childhood, strong babies, an alternate version of the Christmas story, and everything else in the apocryphal Infancy Gospel of James. Plus: Joseph goes on a vision quest, and the awkwardest donkey ride in history.
61 min
56
2 Corinthians
Niko and Lauren discuss the severe letter, super-apostles, Paul being a jerk, and everything else in the book of 2 Corinthians. Plus: alternative atonement theories, and how to blame scheduling problems on Jesus in three easy steps.
52 min
57
1 Corinthians
In this episode, Lauren and Niko discuss Paul’s views on re-used meat, gross misogyny, sexual immorality, and everything else in Paul’s First Epistle to the Corinthians. Plus: that Bible verse that people always read at weddings, and Ed Sheeran sucks.
53 min
58
Romans
Niko and Lauren discuss substitutionary atonement, vegetarianism, kinkshaming, and everything else in Paul’s epistle to the Romans. Plus: Big Bible Boy vs. Politic Man, and our harshest cat curse yet!
69 min
59
Acts
Lauren and Niko welcome Patricia Lockwood (@tricialockwood), poet and author of the new memoir Priestdaddy, to the show to discuss Pentecost, Paul on the road to Damascus, the original intactivist, and everything else in the book of Acts.
75 min
60
John
Lauren and Niko discuss not throwing the first stone, washing the disciples' feet, how to get to heaven, and everything else in the gospel according to John. Plus: the lost pop hit "Samaritan Woman," and this gospel sucks.
72 min
61
Luke
In a fat, juicy, hour-and-a-half-long episode, Lauren and Niko discuss the revised Christmas story, the parable of the sower, the parable of the prodigal son, and a bunch more of Jesus’s teachings in the gospel according to Luke.
97 min
62
Mark
Niko and Lauren discuss walking on water, fishes and loaves, Jesus’s crucifixion, Jesus’s resurrection, and everything else in the gospel according to Mark. Plus: sleep deprivation is real, and Jesus’s weirdest miracle!
73 min
63
Matthew
Lauren and Niko discuss the birth of Jesus, between three and twenty magi, getting dunked on in the Jordan River, the crucifixion, and everything else in the book of Matthew. Plus: improbably named disciples, and John the Baptist’s head on a platter!
75 min
64
Robobible
Niko and Lauren feed the text of the Bible to an artificial-intelligence program and have it create its own Bible passage. With the help of Rose Eveleth (@roseveleth), Greg (@leducviolet), Mallory Ortberg, Ezekiel Kweku (@theshrillest), and J. W.
52 min
65
3 & 4 Maccabees
Things get a little intense as Niko and Lauren discuss seven beautiful sons, more drunken elephants, the Holocaust, and everything else in the apocryphal books of 3 and 4 Maccabees. Plus: more gore than a Tarantino movie,
69 min
66
1 & 2 Maccabees
Lauren and Niko discuss the Maccabean revolt, battle elephants, Braveheart speeches, and everything else in the books of 1 and 2 Maccabees. Plus: king babysitters, and the best way to drink wine.
64 min
67
Malachi
Niko and Lauren discuss offal, messengers, shoehorning Elijah, and everything else in the book of Malachi. Plus: we count down the top 12 minor prophets, and cow curses!
55 min
68
Zechariah
Summary: Lauren and Niko discuss myrtle trees, flying scrolls, the original Jesus, and everything else in the book of Zechariah. Plus: Robert Kashow, an actual Biblical scholar, explains some stuff to us!
71 min
69
Haggai
Niko and Lauren discuss what happened when the Jews returned to Jerusalem, a new reason for God’s wrath, the original Jesus, and everything else in the book of Haggai. Plus: the difference between monkeys and apes,
43 min
70
Jubilees
Lauren and Niko discuss Adam, Eve, Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, and Moses like you’ve never seen them before…...sort of. It’s the book of Jubilees, a different version of the book of Genesis with a lot more angels and a little more love.
83 min
71
Rerun: Ecclesiastes
We're off this week for New Year's, but here's a classic episode from the archives. We'll be back next week! - - Original summary: Niko and Lauren welcome Mallory Ortberg to the show to discuss meaninglessness, vanity, bad breakups,
73 min
72
Zephaniah
On a Very Special 40th Episode Spectacular Episode, Niko and Lauren welcome Sunday School Dropouts logo designer Elise Carlton to the show to talk about everything except the book of Zephaniah! Plus: two kinds of owls, and Lauren freaks out again!
57 min
73
Habakkuk
Lauren and Niko are joined by writer and educator Matthew Clark Davison to discuss altar boys, the real meaning of lay ministry, obscure burns on Catholicism, and everything else in the book of Habakkuk. Plus: dog psychics and flying statues!
61 min
74
Nahum
Lauren and Niko discuss Nineveh, feminist lions, whether God is trolling Jonah even after his death, and everything else in the book of Nahum. Plus: another quiz, and another trip to the Bible with the crab on the skateboard!
47 min
75
Micah
Niko and Lauren discuss the urban/rural divide, the problem with “popular” prophets, messiahs from Bethlehem, and everything else in the book of Micah. Plus: an impossible quiz, and RIP Vine.
48 min