In which a socialist preacher invents a tricky birth control technique he calls "male continence," leading directly to the lazy Susan and the assassination of an American president. Certificate #34322.

In which Ken blames a crucial bit of fascist iconography on the most successful magazine premium in American history, and John knows the lyrics to "Alaska's Flag" but refuses to sing it. Certificate #37863.

In which John strongly admonishes future listeners not to get sloppy with their headwear, if they have heads. Certificate #25200.

In which the gruesome deaths in early 1960s teen ballads are variously blamed on capitalism, Marlon Brando, chastity, and giant clams. Certificate #34312.

In which the human race barely survives the 20th century. (Well, not all of it, obviously. Picasso didn't, for example.) Certificate #27008

In which the bodies of ancient kings are ground up to fertilize lawns, power locomotives, and paint portraits. Certificate #37891

In which the world's worst chemist gives everyone lead poisoning, and then puts a hole in the ozone layer as an encore. Certificate #25185

In which twenty tourists a year have a psychological breakdown because the most magical city in the world is a little disappointing. Certificate #507

In which John introduces us to the world's last uncontacted tribe—but not literally, because that would be illegal. Certificate #13568

In which a Czech astronomer is hailed as the hero of 1973, only to have his discovery flame out by not flaming out. Then he gets very seasick on a cruise. Certificate #31644

In which John shares the soothing geographic mantra that has got him where he is today: sitting in a bunker teaching 30th-century cockroach-people how to tell medieval Central European principalities apart. Certificate #18088.

In which an upstart British television producer finally answers that age-old question: why don't more classic sitcoms star Adolf Hitler? Certificate #42615.

In which a single highway is paved all the way from Alaska to Argentina--except for one pesky 66-mile gap right in the middle. Certificate #14458.

In which QANTAS begins a top-secret 33-hour nonstop flight between Australia and Ceylon at the height of World War II, right under the noses of the Empire of Japan. Certificate #12248.

In which thousands of soulless corporate executives put little steel toys on their desks but still feel dead inside, and Ken finally learns how those little drinking birds work. Certificate #31932.

In which our two hosts study a book that runs fifty thousand words without a solitary display of our writing plan's fifth symbol. Certificate #6442.

In which Los Angeles stands revealed in all its unquenchable thirst, and is pronounced by John and Ken several times the fun, old-timey way, with a hard 'g'. Certificate #33935.

In which Ken and John struggle to imagine four-dimensional space with the same ease that the inventor of the pitching machine once could. Certificate #28910.

In which John opines that Jennifer Aniston's ubiquitous 1990s-era cut was America's "last hairstyle." Certificate #24193.

In which the aromas of tobacco, coffee, and lavender, meant to revolutionize the motion picture industry, end up nauseating audiences instead, and Ken spoils a 57-year-old surprise cameo. Certificate #18585.

In which the United States and Britain take up arms over one potato-hungry pig. Certificate #43259.

In which the world's most prestigious sporting event goes disastrously wrong, and a Cuban mailman takes a nap. Certificate #28924.

In which throwing people out of windows is strongly endorsed by many hot-headed Czechs, but opposed in no uncertain terms by Ken's great-great-great-great-grandfather. Certificate #32146.

In which an eccentric Shakespeare buff releases two birds in Central Park, and thereby screws up an entire continent's ecosystem. Certificate #27603.

Ken and John provide a time capsule of whimsical recordings for future generations, commemorating the human race's triumphant achievements and its beautiful mundanities. There's no way you want to miss out on these strange-but-true stories.